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Mark Sandlin

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I'm Not Saying You're Homophobic; I'm Just Saying You're Homophobic

Posted: 07/10/2012 7:32 am

Fear will be the death of me. That's what I hear denominations trying to tell us, "Fear will be the death of me." Until today, I've restrained from calling people "homophobic." I've called their laws homophobic, their ideas homophobic, their words homophobic, but never them. So, today I'm coming out as a person who calls other people homophobic.

Why? Well, because they are. Homophobia is the fear of homosexuality. At this point, it is impossible for me to believe that most people who hide behind the Bible or denominational polity haven't had more than ample time to recognize that those two things simply don't support their belief that homosexuality is a sin.

I've written on the topic from time to time and have produced what many say is the one of the best resources online to combat biblical gay bashing (there are plenty of other equally good resources). There are also some exceptional books on the topic that go into much greater depth about the very few places the Bible makes any mention of same-sex relationships. All of them show clearly that using the Bible to condemn homosexuality is an act of misreading the Bible. For anyone who has been exposed to this very clear research, using the Bible to condemn homosexuality is a willful misuse of the Bible and, as I point out in my piece on the "clobber verses," it is also exactly what the Bible considers "using God's name in vain to be."

For me, the final nail in the "you're being homophobic coffin" is this video from Matthew Vines. It is a must watch. Yes, it is and hour long. Yes, it is just a guy giving a lecture -- but it is so much more than that. It is brilliant. It is well-researched. It is precisely presented. It is emotional. It is personal. Everyone needs to watch this.

From his talk:

"It's still commonplace for straight Christians to say, 'Yes, I believe that homosexuality is a sin, but don't blame me -- I'm just reading the Bible. That's just what it says.' Well, first of all, no, you are not just reading the Bible. You are taking a few verses out of context and extracting from them an absolute condemnation that was never intended. But you are also striking to the very core of another human being and gutting them of their sense of dignity and of self-worth. You are reinforcing the message that gay people have heard for centuries: You will always be alone. You come from a family, but you'll never form one of your own. You are uniquely unworthy of loving and being loved by another person, and all because you're different, because you're gay."

Please, when you finish this article, watch it and share it with as many people as you possibly can.

My denomination, the Presbyterian Church of the United States of America, at its national gathering this year voted against marriage equality. Some of those who opposed recognizing marriage equality stood up and basically equated same-sex relationships with bestiality (among other things). They equated a loving, consenting relationship with something that is clearly not about either. These are intelligent people. So why are they willing to make such fallacious leaps in logic on top of using God's name in vain? Fear. Fear works some mighty mojo on the intellect.

"The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear." --Gandhi

People are homophobic, not because they hate, but because they fear. The people who voted against recognizing marriage equality which serves only to lead our denomination further down the road to certain demise as we demonstrate clearly to younger generations that the PC(USA) prefers exclusion over inclusion and polity over people, believe it or not, are mostly loving people. They just happen to fear what they don't understand. Homophobia is the fear of homosexuality. I'm not saying they're homophobic in a hateful kind of way; I'm just saying they're homophobic in a fearful kind of way.

Being that it will be another two years before the PC(USA) can again address this issue, I'm afraid society will have already passed us by (in many ways it already is doing so); we've relegated ourselves to further irrelevance when it comes to contemporary topics. While I know I'll get plenty of PC(USA)ers taking issue with that point, the reality is this kind of behavior is built into the system. Until the system changes, we will continue to see this kind of behavior just like we did with slavery, just like we did with ordination for women and LGBT folk -- and the younger generations will observe it, take note, and continue to walk away from institutionalized religion and specifically from the PC(USA).

So, what can we do about it? Karl Augustus Menninger, author of "The Human Mind" and "Love Against Hate," once said, "Fears are educated into us, and can, if we wish, be educated out." We need to educate folks, educate the fear out of them. So, please share this post. Share the video from Matthew Vines and help expose the fear behind the homophobia.

 

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10:30 AM on 08/18/2012
The homophobia in the comments is so depressing...and for those wondering, I'm bisexual, christian, and polyamorous. (pre-engaged to my boyfriend of nearly 3 years and if I could I'd marry him and my girlfriend...but apparently that's bad too.)
12:53 AM on 08/12/2012
The argumentation in that video is very flawed. Google lists various quality critiques of it, EG : http://stasisonline.wordpress.com/2012/04/10/homosexual-marriage/
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Tracy Fortune
Geek, mother, fair & compassionate ;^)
01:57 AM on 07/15/2012
Christians do NOT speak for me. As a citizen & a consenting adult- who I love & who I wish to live with & spend my life with is none of your business.

All of the kind people here who are trying to convince the religious nuts are seriously off-topic. The equal societal & secular rights of citizens are not something to be voted on based on religious bigotry.
If that were true, I would vote against anyone being able to utter one word about their personal religion to me- not one, single word- because THAT is definitely a learned, environmental behaviour that DOES impact others when it is used as a tool to discriminate. What cowards these people are who try to use their "good books" to rule & to hurt others...

http://i49.tinypic.com/2vint5u.jpg
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Kelly Carroll
01:42 PM on 07/12/2012
Arachnophobia: So afraid of spiders that people won't go near them or want them all dead.
Homophobia: Disliking homosexuality?

What bothers me is people like to use words like homophobia or bigot for behaviors that do not even closely resemble a phobia or hatred of a person at all. If someone acts violently towards a homosexual person, then sure, the words fit, but just disliking it does not make it a phobia.
07:23 PM on 07/13/2012
Perhaps Greek isn't your strong suit. A phobia is an extreme irrational fear of or aversion to something. It doesn't have anything to do with wanting them all dead.

A bigot is a person who is obstinately convinced of the superiority of their opinion over that of others, and is prejudiced against those who hold differing opinions.
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Fred Beggs
My micro-bio is still empty.
11:45 AM on 07/12/2012
Homosexuals refuse to understand what Christians believe. We believe that just because something is amiss doesn't give us the right, as created beings, to pervert the laws of life. Even their own bodies tell homosexuals that their bodies were designed for the opposite sex. I can understand that not everything in life is capable of lining up perfect. If it did then there would be no need for a savior. This world is slowing corrupting toward death, no different than our bodies. So with that in mind we could either corrupt along with it or accept the way out through the forgiveness of sins through Christ.

So maybe some are homophobic but maybe we are called homophobic because of their inability to accept the word of God for what it is. The law does not change just because forgiveness, grace and compassion has been revealed through Christ. That is not an excuse to alter the law of marriage of God's laws. What man does in this world is different than God so which kingdom do we want to be part of?

Homosexuals cannot change what they are no more than I change myself but we all have been given grace to accept our forgiveness as rebellious children and return to God. But don't use your existence to change God's Law. That is why I have always said that to call joined gay couples, "married" is a mockery and an outright lie.
04:55 PM on 07/12/2012
Married in a different belief. It's our choice what we want to do, what beliefs we want to follow. People who are married in any other religion, or even no religion at all are still married, and so are same-sex marriages that are not Christian. To put it simply, it's our business who we marry, what we believe is a mockery, and what is a corruption. Or more importantly, how dare you? How dare you decide what only the Lord himself should decide, instead, let us do what we will. If we have broken God's Law, let us do so, it does not hurt you, and God will sort us out later. Until then, we have not broken laws that we chose to be bound by, so you have no right to try to stop us from claiming our right to do things without having a religion forced down our throats.
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Fred Beggs
My micro-bio is still empty.
05:37 PM on 07/12/2012
I agree with you as long as you realize what you are saying. You have separated yourself. I did not do that, you did.

Many people believe I should not be allowed to own a gun by law. Well, the law, in it's current state does allow it. Some would call that a mockery to God based on the fact I am supposed to defend myself with faith.

In so many ways you are right. Like I said, sometime things are not as they should be. I am divorced and re-married. Therefore the Law of marriage in my own life has been broken. Yet, I never said it was right in the eyes of God nor do I attempt to alter the law. It is what it is. Since this article mentioned Christians there is a definite definition of marriage to the Christian and it has nothing to do with homophobia but more to do with watching corruption, before their eyes, being accepted as normal.

In man's world they can call purple, yellow if they want. The law of God has no part in their agenda and social politics. It will eventually lead to the practice being accepted even within the church. And so it is now. I don't mean just gay marriage but the practice of lawless (pertaining to God's laws) sexual conduct.
02:23 AM on 07/13/2012
You're perpetuating the "us-them" mentality from your very first sentence. Many homosexuals understand exactly what Christians believe because the *are* Christians.

As far as you thinking bodies were only designed for the opposite sex, you're ignoring the rest of the relationship and acting as if you know more about someone's sex life than they do. How do you know that LGBT people's bodies are only made for the opposite sex? Have you engaged in same-sex sex to know this?

By the way, did you even go watch Matthew Vines' video? Do that with an open mind and a prayerful heart and then figure out if we're changing God's law. I say entering into a loving committed relationship is the fulfillment of God's law.
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Fred Beggs
My micro-bio is still empty.
12:14 PM on 07/13/2012
"I say entering into a loving committed relationship is the fulfillment of God's law."

Close, but that is really not the fulfillment. It is to first Love God and 2nd to Love my neighbor. And as Jesus said, no greater love has no man than this: That a man lay down his life for his friends.

Let that be our Christian walk.

From the old covenant till John we have law. The law cannot change since it is so from the beginning. However true the law is and however perfect it is we can never be saved by it. It is to show all people that according to the law we are separated from God and walk in ways that are not good. The need for us to be cleansed and have relationship with God has always been about bloodshed. Though we are the ones who should perish God has allowed the blood of sheep, bulls and various other animals to atone the law of sin and death, until our Lord Himself descended and became man and took the chastisement of our sins upon himself. This one act alone is the salvation of all men who receive it.
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Fred Beggs
My micro-bio is still empty.
12:15 PM on 07/13/2012
Though God's grace is never limited we don't assume His law is void. To love one another does not permit the breaking of God's law but it does allow forgiveness to be in our hearts toward one another. We have been set free from the sting of sin as to our guilt before God and the destruction of our souls.

If we do not acknowledge our sin before God then we are not partakers of the cross of Christ by which is the only means to come into relationship with Him. God accepts no other sacrifice and is able to make men free from the bondage of sin and its deadly results, through the cross.

Until this cross works in our lives we are unable to truly love one another because we have not accepted the love of God.
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AnnieAppleseed
Founder of an all-volunteer cancer nonprofit.
11:22 AM on 07/12/2012
Raised as an atheist, I always look at religion differently from most. But what I see is a lot of separation - not of Church and State, but one group of PEOPLE from another. I KNOW that religious sermons were used to defend slavery, prevent women from getting the vote, prevent integration of races, and on and on. Now the focus is on stopping people of the same sex from being in relationships leading to marriage (if they wish it). VERY, Very wrong. Were I ever to believe in G*d, it would NEVER be the one most folks look to, that is for sure. Hey, prove me wrong.
10:19 AM on 07/12/2012
Mr. Sandlin... you shouldn't be worried about whether society passes the bible by. Jesus didn't preach that. He told you to preach the gospel. The gospel is the good news and also the requirements of it. As He said... a man shall not lie with another. He shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife. He didn't, nor did He ever think about anything else. If He did, He would have said so. He didn't say Sarah and Sue, Bob and Mark. He said cleave to his wife. He didn't say, cleave to a girlfriend. He said his wife. He didn't say cleave to another while you're married, He said, cleave to your wife. He said that Moses gave divorce ONLY for one reason. Not because of any reason you want to leave.

Preach, or leave as it will be better to have a millstone around your neck than hurt one of his children.
02:06 AM on 07/12/2012
Being gay is a sin of pride, of turning against the creation and celebrating deviant behavior in a sterile urban environment ruled by electronics hat promote evil fantasies among their users. Where is your brother your father your mother your sister your common decency?
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wolf 123
Cheering daily for the asteroid
02:11 PM on 07/12/2012
your statement shows your lack of understanding and closed mindedness...

What do you know of what it is to be Gay? Have you ever asked someone who is? Have you ever entertained the idea that you might know far too little to espouse such a dismissive opinion?
07:27 PM on 07/11/2012
Homophobia needs to be recognized for what it really is; an unnatural and irrational fear of people who are attracted to the same sex.
Homophobia needs to be treated the same way any other phobia is treated; with professional help such as medication and/or therapy sessions.
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wolf 123
Cheering daily for the asteroid
11:31 AM on 07/11/2012
The saddest thing about all this Gays vs The Bible controversy is the simple fact that the bible as we know it is not a reliable document. The bible is a collection of prophesies written by a series of prophets decades or centuries after the death of Jesus. Jesus himself did not pen a single word of the bible.

This collection of prophesies has subsequently been translated from their original language into their current form. These translations suffer from the shortcomings of every language through which they pass and the subjectivity of the translator. Beyond the skilled hand of the translator we have the then passed the bible through the pens of thousands of hand transcriptions.

Given the open source quality of the Bible it makes no sense to rely on single passages for guidance as to God's will. Only when taken as a whole, and placed into historical perspective does the bible begin to make sense. The bible repeatedly and overwhelmingly calls for non-judgement, acceptance and inclusion. In my opinion these precepts must over ride individual passages which conflict with these overarching principles.
01:47 PM on 07/11/2012
If one is a Christian you believe the Bible is innerant and God is God enough to have insured that. If you dont think that way then really whats the point of even opening the book.
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wolf 123
Cheering daily for the asteroid
02:42 PM on 07/11/2012
I'm not suggesting that the Bible is worthless, but I do think it's important to look at ancient scripture in the context of the time it was written in in order to understand what it means correctly. Understanding why something was written helps one understand how that writing needs to be understood today.

I'm not a big fan of religious dogma because it forces you to accept what you are told verbatim, without question. Unfortunately, the track record of those who have led our religious organizations, and in so doing formed the Bible we have today, have not always been stellar when it comes to their motivations. God's intentions are pure, but sadly man's hands are not always clean.

I choose to embrace my spirituality with a healthy dose of reflection as to how something resonates for me in order that my faith, as much as I can, be something who's motivations I understand and endorse.
02:28 AM on 07/13/2012
Incorrect, spuds. If one is a Christian you don't automatically believe the Bible is inerrant. Most mainline and many fringe denominations do not believe that at all. They believe the Bible is *inspired* by God but recognize the fact that through translations and through the authors' humanity (although God inspired them, they were mere humans) it is not verbatim what God said.
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Andres64
Religion is a sectually transmitted disease.
06:52 AM on 07/11/2012
Ok, I am 100% behind rights for all. But the term "homophobic" is not alwaays accurate. One can disagree and/or not like something without be afraid of it.
07:59 AM on 07/11/2012
Disagreeing with a person's sexual orientation is as absurd as disagreeing with a person's skin color. I call it ignorance.
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Andres64
Religion is a sectually transmitted disease.
09:12 AM on 07/11/2012
Call it whatever you want. Fear does not necessarily fit.
01:51 PM on 07/11/2012
one can disagree that ones 'orientation' is inborn or not. Skin color is genetically determined- but object of ones desire, is not, according to the views of many (and no gene to prove otherwise). therefore its not ignorant to disagree with you, its a fundamentally different paradigm through which one is viewing the issue that creates the differing viewpoint.
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forestlady
09:09 AM on 07/11/2012
I disagree: I think there are only 2 reasons anyone would be so uncomfortable with homosexuality - they buy the standard Christian belief that it's wrong or that they are uncomfortable with 2 people, usually male, of the same sex loving each other. Both of these are homophobic, they do have a fear of homosexuals, the first one being that they think sin is contagious, and in the second caes, often the fear comes from being afraid that they themselves might be gay.
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Andres64
Religion is a sectually transmitted disease.
09:26 AM on 07/11/2012
But I'm sure that there are things that you do that i don't like, and vice versa. Doesn't mean that we're afraid of them.
united dreamer
The meek shall inherit the earth, trust me
10:48 AM on 07/11/2012
Fear of the pervasion of homosexuality as a social norm maybe. Not the homosexuals themselves.

Atheist communism never had much time for homosexuality either. At least not in China and the Soviet.
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05:07 AM on 07/11/2012
I find the name-calling interesting. The intollerance for anothers point of view is interesting while demanding tollerance for your point of view. I find it interesting that you mention bestiality and the very few who have correlated bestiality with homosexuality. If one takes your point of view of the Scriptures, it would be very easy to make the case that bestiality is not a sin. The same triangulation and diversion you apply could easily be applied to justify. You have a problem however. All sex outside of marriage in the bible is a sin. So, when you use the term homosexual are you talking about an attraction or the sexual acts in a homosexual relationship? You must define your term. The bible is clear about the sexual act, it is a sin. If you can offer a counter, I would like to hear it.
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democratbob
Equality for all, including marriage.
05:44 AM on 07/11/2012
Bestiality is rape because an animal cannot give informed consent. This is not the same as homosexuality where indeed the people involved can give informed consent. This is exactly the same reason why sex with children is wrong; they cannot give informed consent because they do not understand what they are consenting to if they do.

Homosexuality has nothing to do with the actual act of sex but to do with attractions. Anyone who is sexually attracted to a person of the same sex and not the other sex is homosexual. There are plenty of homosexual virgins, just like there are plenty of heterosexual virgins.

The reason the Bible would teach that sex outside marriage is sin is because there were not DNA paternity tests in those days and it was important that a man knew that the children to whom he was passing on his property were actually his own children and not some other man's. Today, it is pretty easy to establish paternity, women are not property anymore, and that issue is not really a problem.

I also find it interesting that for all the teaching in many Evangelical churches about premarital sex being sinful, a recent study released by a big Evangelical group showed that 80% of all Evangelicals have sex before marriage. I think the reason there's so much trouble with sex in those churches is because they deny the fundamental sexual nature of humanity. It leads to terrible problems down the road.
united dreamer
The meek shall inherit the earth, trust me
10:51 AM on 07/11/2012
The view of beasts doesn't come into the equation. It sanctions slaughtering animals. Why would it worry about consensus from a beast?
united dreamer
The meek shall inherit the earth, trust me
11:03 AM on 07/11/2012
By the way the bible does not provide the translation of Christian faith, the various religious institutions do. You can argue they are driven both by social norms and the dogmatic and sometimes inspirational interpretation of the bible but you can't remove the looking glass of religion from the interpretation of Christian teaching.

The translation itself was overseen by religious translation.

With that in mind, the bible teaches sex outside marriage as a sin because it is outside the remit of God's gift of sex. Indeed it teaches that sex closed to procreation is a sin. And not sanctioned by God's grace. That's not to say Christians exercise their sexuality outside this remit, but that is the guiding moral structure.

Now you can reinterpret the bible your way if you like but its not an accepted interpretation by most Christian religions.
08:02 AM on 07/11/2012
Not all of us demand tolerance, we demand equal rights under the law as tax paying citizens. Deciding who and who is not homophobic is mostly an opinion but it's becoming increasingly obvious to most people.
03:08 AM on 07/11/2012
Well spoken and researched. Eloquent for a young man of 21 years. Hopefully people will actually listen to his words. If anyone is in doubt, follow up on his research to see if there are errors - before you post ignorance of your bible. There were a few items I need to check on. Keep in mind the Old testament laws were strictly for orthodox jews and Jesus' message was for the orthodox to be more tolerant - the beginning of reformation. ;-) Too bad some Christians didn't follow his lead.
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forestlady
09:13 AM on 07/11/2012
Yep, this is exactly what I was taught in Sunday school - we are to follow the NT, the OT is the history of the Jews. The NT says nothing about who you sleep with.
12:49 PM on 07/12/2012
Sorry Sunny, but Jesus said a lot.

Matthew 19:3 Then some Pharisees came to him (Jesus) in order to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful to divorce a wife for any cause?” 4 He (Jesus) answered, “Have you not read that from the beginning the Creator made them male and female, 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and will be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

Gen. 2:18 The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a companion for him who corresponds to him.”

Considering that Jesus is God Incarnate of the O.T, He (Jesus) is God of the O.T.

And, since Jesus is the God of the O.T. and the Messiah of the N.T. it stands to reason, that Jesus doesn't approve of homosexuality, adultery, pre-martial sex, beastiality and FORNICATION/PORNEIA of any such kind outside of what he said above.

Man/woman marriage.

So, Jesus is CLEARLY stating that the O.T. applies in the N.T.
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Kelly Carroll
01:48 PM on 07/12/2012
Wrong. It does:

Romans 1:24-27

New International Version (NIV)

24 Therefore God gave them over in the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degrading of their bodies with one another. 25 They exchanged the truth about God for a lie, and worshiped and served created things rather than the Creator—who is forever praised. Amen.

26 Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural sexual relations for unnatural ones. 27 In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed shameful acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
02:10 PM on 07/11/2012
Its funny isnt it how the sexual codes that are first seen in the Old Testament are then reiterated in the New Testament by the very apostles (as well as some other servants who came after his death) that Jesus spent 24/ 7 with for 3 years and who He gave His Holy Spirit to lead them into all truth and declare it.
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Phyllis Copeland
Shout into the void, don't weep in the darkness
12:15 AM on 07/12/2012
And these writings are still outdated by 2 centuries. The same apostles you refer to also espoused slavery, xeonphobia, and women treated as second-class citizens. It's no excuse for denying someone else the right to be with the person they love.
10:05 PM on 07/10/2012
Simple fears are not phobias. A person who is unable to be in the presence of a suspected or acknowledged homosexual is homophobic. Using it otherwise is a way to label injuriously simple uncomfortableness, which should be tolerated and dealt with politely when necessary.
02:11 PM on 07/11/2012
you make so much sense - thats why your comment is being ignored by those who throw the term around so loosely
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jestermarcus
Enough about me.....
03:39 PM on 07/11/2012
Phobia: A persistent, irrational fear of a specific object, activity, or situation that leads to a compelling desire to avoid it.

That's the deffinition. Now, what most people are would deffinitely be on extreme of that deffinition, but it could still be construed by some to fit.
09:00 PM on 07/10/2012
"All of them show clearly that using the Bible to condemn homosexuality is an act of misreading the Bible."

Nonsense. They are creative, even learned, attempts to read the Bible in a way they want to read it. Which is to say, they are the same as most attempts at Biblical interpretation. What makes them particularly likely to be wrong, IMO, is that they represent an attempt to interpret the Bible in a manner consistent with developments in our secular culture. They represent the most common thing in the world: an interpretation of a religious writer in which it turns out that God, surprise surprise, thinks just like the person doing the interpretation.
09:44 AM on 07/11/2012
You mean like the Bible translators that decided to translate a word "arsenokoites" as "homosexuals" or "homosexual offenders" despite early church writings to the contrary, and those who then use these and other loose translations to justify their homophobia? Isn't it amazing how God hates lgbt people just as much as they do, but is loving and forgiving of straight people like them? Pot. Kettle. Black.