Hi Marlo - Our son Kameron was bullied relentlessly and committed suicide on January 18th. He was 14 years old. In lieu of flowers we asked for donations be made to St Jude's, my mom's favorite for decades. I know you're busy, but just wondering of you could take a look at our son. We have nothing else to lose. ~ Thanks
This heartbreaking note posted on my Facebook page started my kinship with an extraordinary man. He lived every parent's silent dread -- looking back on the senseless death of an innocent child asking "How?" and "Why?" and "What could have been done?" Kevin Jacobsen's son saw no alternative but to take his own life rather than face another day of relentless bullying.
Kevin inspired those around him. He inspired me. When he spoke to a crowded room at the U.S. Department of Education at a bullying conference last fall, he roused them to a standing ovation. He hid his pain behind action. His notes to me about anti-bullying legislation were carefully considered. He served as a bridge to other families. He decided that no family should suffer as his did.
Then came even more devastating news -- on January 7, Kevin, the father who had suffered and learned; the inspired leader of other families -- took his own life, too. I can't begin to say I have insight into this second act of sadness. Just that I was hit by an unrelenting wave of shock. I pray for Wanda and her family to find strength.
My resolve now is even stronger. I will not stand by and see other families destroyed. We must defeat this issue. Parents, teachers, grandparents, and -- most of all -- kids, must band together and stop this epidemic in our schools and on our playgrounds. No child should ever be made to feel such desperation. No parent should have to lose a child this way. No wife should lose a husband and son. Join with me now. Our children deserve better. The Jacobsen family -- you are not alone. We will not stop until bullying recedes into the past and becomes nothing more than a sad chapter of inhumanity and a reminder that we must all stand together.
To support the Jacobsen family during this difficult time, visit http://www.wandajacobsendonationfund.com
Follow Marlo Thomas on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MarloThomas
Poor wife/mother. It's unspeakably cruel what her husband did to her. A teen may not realize suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but an adult should have more perspective and for the father to take his own life after the son had already done so, well I just can't feel sorry for him when it was just so cruel to his wife and the mother of their son.
If you must use words in the face of something so unspeakable, please choose your words with love. There is already so much pain...
Listen to the words of the following poster "The Ogre". He himself is a bully. You see, he blamed the boy who died for hurting his family but gave no responsibility to the bully. Because it's him. Look at the last line: "Flame away". He wants to bully gays. Must be one of those hypocritical born agains. There have been enough gay children who have died. And not just gays, but others too. I think if ANYONE see a sick person like this-bully ANY person-gay or straight-it's our responsibility to show them exactly how it feels. Listen to the poster who follows: Morph2020-he knows too. Listen to his words and advice.
(and yet you did, in fact, flame him as a result of his post! how ironic!)
This man took his own life and left the rest of his family behind, grieving not one, but two, suicides.
Suicide is rarely the appropriate response to a situation. It has done more damage to this family than bullying ever did.
Flame away.
I don't believe in speaking sweetly to a bully for a bully has no empathy and only cares about himself and was probably born with much of the lack to feel the pain they cause. But letting them have the opportunity of feeling the pain, is a GREAT way of fixing that problem. That's why my harsh response to the previous poster who is, by reading his words is clearly a bully himself.
School boards who adopt a zero-tolerance policy on fighting always end up punishing victims and wrongdoers equally. This is unjust. Each situation must be judged to find the one who starts it. Zero tolerance means zero judgment. We all have a right to defend ourselves -- always.
RE: parents. They complain "always the same people volunteer". If you are not part of the "always people", volunteer forms are ignored, or the parent is contacted, then at the event told ther't a job for them. The parent is willfully excluded from the group-plans are made for the "regulars" kids to get together, right in front of new volunteer's child, excluding that child. I have seen groups of moms talking, another mom come up to say hello; the group closes the circle, leaving her looking at someone's back, or the group just stares at her.
Remove these bullies from mainstream school if they can't figure it out. Wal Mart will hire them