Strauss-Kahn. Schwarzenegger. Edwards. Weiner. It's been a helluva month for men behaving badly. Am I the only one who sees this as a good thing?
Has the tradition of men having it their way -- with women bearing the consequences -- hit a speed bump?
Historically, women who have been victimized by men -- whether by a sexually harassing boss or a philandering husband -- were trained to hit the mute button.
"He'll fire you if you complain."
"He'll divorce you if you confront him."
"Be glad you have a job / a roof over your head."
And it's worked. But, of course, men have always had a litany of "universal truths" to back up their behavior that have been passed down from generation to generation: "Men have their needs." Or, "For men, it's just a physical thing." Or my all-time favorite, "Boys will be boys."
Well, not so fast, boys.
The most potent images from this, the ugly month of May, speak with certitude about how quickly those age-honored traditions are unraveling:
Strauss-Kahn doing the perp walk in handcuffs. Weiner crying at the mic. And not a single wife standing silently at her cad's side, her face frozen in shame. (Okay, maybe Mme. Strauss-Kahn did -- but they're French.)
This time, the wives were silent, alright -- silent as in gone.
As those of us who fought the battles of the feminist movement in the early 70s know, change doesn't happen in giant leaps, but, rather, in smaller, significant steps. That's why this string of salacious spring scandals has filled me with optimism -- because, in each case, women have drawn a new line in the sand.
Maria Shriver did not stand by her man when he admitted to fathering a child with the family's housekeeper -- but, instead, packed up, moved into a hotel, and is now reportedly filing for divorce.
John Edwards may have decided to stand firm and fight his indictment for using campaign funds to hide his paramour and love child, but he's become a national punchline, thanks in large part to columnists like Gail Collins and Maureen Dowd, who've spared few words in denouncing the former senator as a sleaze.
Anthony Weiner may claim that his wife of 11 months is standing by him, but I'd say he's in much deeper manure with those other women in his life -- namely, colleagues Rep. Nancy Pelosi of California and Rep. Allyson Schwartz of Pennsylvania, who are leading the charge in calling for an investigation into Weinergate, at best, or expelling Weiner from the House of Representatives altogether.
And the coast-to-coast mantra has become: "Boys may be boys, but it's time for men to start acting like men."
But of all the drama in this explosive month of cheating hearts and Tweeting parts, the person who has given me the most hope is the 32-year-old chambermaid from New York's Sofitel Hotel, who emerged from her brutal attempted rape by the head of the International Monetary Fund, not by slinking away in shamed silence, fearing that her word could never match that of someone so powerful, but instead by going directly to the authorities and busting the offender.
The bravery that took cannot be overstated. Here is a woman from Guinea who'd been granted asylum in the United States and lives quietly in New York, raising her 15-year-old daughter. Her annual salary is probably around $20,000, which, according to the National Bureau of Labor Statistics, is what a woman makes for spending long days cleaning bathrooms, changing sheets and mopping up after strangers.
That's less than 10 dollars an hour, and she needs every cent to raise a kid in New York. But she put everything on the line to stand up for herself and her right to work with dignity. With the courage of a Rosa Parks, she refused to submit to -- and rebelled against -- a long-entrenched system. In her case, that system is one that not only expects chambermaids to tolerate the creepy sexual advances of male hotel guests, but in some instances, even assigns the "new girl" to clean the rooms of those more troublesome guests (like the men who "accidentally" let their bathrobes fall open when the maid is in the room). Oh, the fun the boys have had.
Not this time, said the chambermaid. And if you doubt for a moment that her voice was raised on behalf of women everywhere, take a look at the photos of the union hotel workers -- all women -- protesting outside the Manhattan Criminal Court last week, as Strauss-Kahn and his wife made their exit following his arraignment hearing. How striking and poignant and powerful, this army of women in their familiar grey uniforms with fists raised, the fury of helplessness and invisibility at last unleashed.
These women did not just blow a whistle. They sounded a siren that has inspired women worldwide. And it will empower every maid who ever hears the lock snap on a hotel room door.
Yep, this is a good time. We are seeing the end of a tradition and the beginning of a revolution.
And these are the front lines...
Follow Marlo Thomas on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MarloThomas
Where is the revolution when women are currently in Somalia seeing their babies starve Marlo?
Honestly, this reminds me of the WASPish American feminism that I found annoying so many years ago. Basically what the WASPish feminist sees as injustice - usually a superficial or isolated case - is generalised to the point where it overshadows travesties of international justice that affect women around the world. Yes, woman beyond the United States who aren't wrestling with womanisers they married for their fame, prestige or bank accounts, women who'll retain millions in payouts. These other women don't have food, they sleep on the ground, watch their babies die while dictators reap rewards and contribute to their Swiss bank accounts.
Women who marry men in the public eye have an idea of what they're getting into.
In case you were wondering Marlo. The reason why some some (not all) Americans are perceived as annoying to non-Americans is related to the grandiose assumption that one small event in America will definitely cause a ripple elsewhere. Go present your article to a malnourished woman who cannot stand up and ask her if there is a revolution.
What is so good about this? What is so good about breaking the Family apart?
Why do people take vows and then ditch them at the first opportunity?
And women complain that men fear commitment?
Stable families are the very backbone of our society. The individuals who perpetrate these acts obviously don't think or care much about that. One of these days, we'll turn-back to common sense, and see these people exactly as they are: selfish and indulging fools.
Let's get real, Marlo, about how women's rise to power in business and politics is ruining America. I call it the FROM BOARDROOM TO BROADROOM phenomenon.
I love women. Heck, I am a woman. So please don’t kill the Missinger, but the facts and the message they convey don’t lie: Women are ruining America.
America’s dwindling GNP, faltering economy, increased frequency of wars, and disintegrating family structure, along with worldwide geopolitical instability - all correlate to the rise of American women in both business and politics.
With no emery board to grind with those of my gender who have climbed the corporate and political ladders of success, I have penned an objective, authoritative and factually based literary work entitled, From Boardroom to Broadroom, that’s sure to change the way we look at America’s current milieu. I'll send you a copy if you'd like.
An overlay of graphs depicting post-1960 economic, workforce and political data reveals a fascinating trend: A significant and sustained increase of American women in the workplace and political arena with a concurrent decrease in America’s key economic indicators and geopolitical influence.
The rise to power of American women in both business and politics has brought with it a maelstrom of change; a violent vortex that now threatens to swallow the American Dream and the eponymous nation that gave birth to it.
From Boardroom to Broadroom exposes the gender-based truth behind the decomposition of American society.
B"H
The author puts the act of sending clothed but sexual photos to someone other than a spouse on par with what she calls the "brutal attempted rape" of a hotel maid; these are not at all comparable, as one is a private act questionable only because it was undertaken by a politician while the other is a felony.
And what about that "brutal attempted rape?" It is very popular in the United States as of late to behave as if, among crimes, rape alone is exempt from the presumption of innocence, but in point of fact, no rape occurred unless and until it was found to have occurred by a court of law. That may not sit well with those "who fought the battles of the feminist movement in the early 70s;" nonetheless, that is American justice.
Your commentary here is practically a stereotype of a jilted woman angry about perceived wrongs inflicted on her and all members of her gender. Rant if you like; it is your column. But don't pretend that you are making intelligent observations. Rape is a crime. Sending "lewd" photos is nothing whatsoever comparable -- and women, by the way, also cheat.
I grew up watching you on tv and have always respected your activism, but if you are seriously equating extramarital sex with rape (which it certainly seems you are), then I am going to have to revise my opinion of your intelligence.
Weiner - I don't doubt his wife is upset with him, but it's hard to imagine his willing sextmates as victims - how many of them were married, do you even know?
Let's face facts, you don't know - don't care to know - don't need to know. Because knowing that wouldn't fit in with your theories.
These women are married - and are cheating. And any belief that women don't cheat - is not backed by science nor fact.
It is a fact that women are less willing to admit they cheat. Maybe being discrete about it, is a virtue, but they cheat.
I frankly can't agree with you, that its OK to belittle and dehumanize men - and pretend that women are different. On this point - men and women are not different. Most men don't cheat - but a lot do. Most women don't cheat - but a lot do.
And frankly differences barely exist - it doesn't matter to me if the man is single, who had sex with the married woman. Or the woman is single who had sex with the married man.
But it goes beyond that - it's married men and married women - finding old high school boyfriends on facebook and having sex with them.
From where do you invent a gender based moral high ground? Straight out of your imagination,
I too have encountered the type of women you mention in your comment, and apart from not being concerned about family break ups, they don't even care about their female colleagues either.
This article is a disappointment. A part of me asks how people are given such a huge forum to write such articles, that are not well thought out or, for that matter, researched.
Women as victims is how you see the world - but its little more than the way you've been indoctrinated to think.
Marlo, these women (except for the maid who was just doing her job) are attracted to men like this, AND IT'S THEIR OWN FAULT for fooling themselves into ignoring the obvious signs along the way. Then, in completely flawed logic, the "men behaving badly" is universally applied to EVERY MAN. As a result, I've seen good men getting burned. If you are a good man of means these days, YOU ARE A TARGET, and marketing yourself as the "victum of men behaving badly" has become enormously profitable. We're in strange territory these days as a result and this article is sheds absolutely NOTHING new on the issue. It's just retreading old line garbage.
Maybe if this were 1972, you would have a point. These days, women who date and engage with men like this, ABSOLUTELY KNOW who they are engaging with and the simpleton "ohhhhh, these boys are bad and I didn't deserve it" treatment is such foolish drivel I couldn't believe I read it here as opposed to Good Housekeeping! My god.....
It's a two way road that is becoming more and more apparent as the recently sexually empowered American female try to express themselves. This one referred to all males as "boys" and was arrogant enough to assume that we all are as YOU are portraying us. Thanks for knocking the whole deal back a few steps.