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Marlo Thomas

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The Freesome Threesome

Posted: 07/19/2012 7:40 am

The stress and strains of our always-connected lives can sometimes take us off course. GPS For The Soul can help you find your way back to balance.

GPS Guides are our way of showing you what works for others in the hopes that you can find out what works for yourself. Whether it's photos that relax you or make you smile, songs that bring you back to your heart, quotes or poems that balance you or meditative exercises that help de-stress you, we all have tricks that we use when we get bent out of shape. We encourage you to look at the GPS Guide below, visit our other GPS Guides here, and share with us your own personal tips for finding peace, balance and harmony.

I've always been something of a pragmatist, at least as it applies to stress. While many people try to avoid pressure of any kind, I've actually come to accept the fact that, no matter what I do, it will always be there -- hiding around the corner, lurking under my desk, always waiting to pounce, especially when think I'm in the clear.

But I don't let stress taunt me. In fact, I fight back whenever it rears its head. And I do this by relying on what I call my "Freesome Threesome" -- a liberating trio of surefire rituals that relieves the pressure, brings me a sense of equilibrium -- sometimes even serenity -- and recharges me for the next onslaught.

Running:

I'm blessed with having New York's magnificent Central Park right outside my front door, so whenever the going gets tough, I go running! There's nothing like being surrounded by nature to remind you that the world is a pretty lovely place, and that the sound of chirping birds is more important than that constantly-ringing telephone. And in addition to all the physical benefits of jogging -- respiratory, muscle toning, weight maintenance -- you also get the benefit of being able to people watch as you run by them. That's something I never take for granted. It's important, I believe, to remind ourselves that the lives we live from 9 to 5 are just a tiny part of a bigger picture -- and sometimes that bigger picture is just outside your front door.

Laughing:

I've said it before and I'll say it again: The first and best way to cleanse your soul, recharge your batteries and unwind from the knot your day has tied you into is through laughter. Jerry Seinfeld once told me that the average child laughs about 75 times a day, while the average adult laughs 12 times a day. And we wonder why kids are more joyful than grownups? So whenever I can, I high-tail it to a comedy club and settle back for a night of funny. Beyond the psychic relief laughter provides, it's also great for you physically -- it relaxes your muscles, keeps your immune system humming (by decreasing stress hormones and boosting infection-fighting antibodies) and even protects the heart by keeping your blood vessels working. It also gives you that same endorphin rush you get after a good workout at the gym. Oh, yeah, and it usually provides a few new jokes you can try out on your colleagues when it's time to go back to work.

Listening:

Most of us spend the better part of our workday listening to our bosses and our colleagues and -- most of all -- the sound of our own voices! And that can lead to sensory overload. So my surefire antidote at the end of the day is to close my mouth and open my ears. Phil and I have a wonderful collection of music that plays on endless loop in our home, and at dusk -- when the phone stops ringing and the meetings are over -- we like to turn up the volume just a bit and mellow out to our favorite playlists. While our choice of music varies with our moods, the top five in our rotation are:

  1. Bach and Chopin: The beauty of their music is transporting. No voices, just a wave of melody to take you back to your inner-self.
  2. Willie Nelson: Even though we're not from "country" territory, there's something about Willie's music that means home.
  3. James Taylor: His lyrics and his easy way with a song are very calming. And he's so playful. For getting rid of stress, getting back to playful is a very good thing.
  4. Andrea Boccelli: His voice and his songs are all about romance. That really helps take your mind out of the workday. And I especially love the songs because they're in Italian, my mom's language.
  5. Rod Stewart: Rod cinches the romance mood. And isn't that the best way to end the day?!

So there you have it -- my Freesome Threesome. Feel free to give my soul-cleansing methods a try, or come up with your own. But just remember: Life is short and the day is long, so why not fill both with the best you possible?

 

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The stress and strains of our always-connected lives can sometimes take us off course. GPS For The Soul can help you find your way back to balance. GPS Guides are our way of showing you what works ...
The stress and strains of our always-connected lives can sometimes take us off course. GPS For The Soul can help you find your way back to balance. GPS Guides are our way of showing you what works ...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
The Accountant
The time for truth is now - always
01:42 PM on 07/22/2012
Living in gratitude leaves no time for unhappiness but allows me to find the the gem in everything. Swimming and toe touches are my favorite exercises and reading does wonders when my thoughts become circular and unproductive. Thank you for your fresh ideas...it seems positive attitude will guide us through no matter what activity we choose.
01:22 AM on 07/22/2012
jeez - you had me up until the part about Rod Stewart...
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
mzrecycle
a very subtle micro-bio
06:46 AM on 07/20/2012
I also have 3 de-stressing tactics:

-Hiking in the mountains. I live in a mountainous area, so that is easy to do.
-Biking. Not as easy for me to do where I live, but certainly within a couple hours drive.

-Ujjayi breath. The very best and always available. Done thru the nose, with the sound of air movement high in the nose. It's the way that people breath naturally when sleeping.
I also have learned to take my awareness out of my head and put it at my heart center, which is where the xiphoid process is. That's at the bottom of the sternum. With the awareness out of the mind, I'm able to be free of the endless run-on of thoughts and just BE.
In the beginning of using this technique, I'd find my awareness would pop back into the mind. But with some regular practice, I find I'm quite successful at it. I can do this when driving, walking, in bed at night while waiting to fall asleep... all sorts of situations. I've not found I can do this totally successfully when talking with others. It seems like a far better use of awareness than entertaining an endless stream of thoughts that can be worry or just blather.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
frank1946
Tell the Truth
06:33 AM on 07/20/2012
The Stars at night, talking with God, settle your petty Human pains and obsessive frictions.

Good wine in moderation, sex, exercise (swimming) and a Hobby to get your mind turned off.

If you are Lucky, some real Love nearby (who comforts you). My Black Lab !
06:32 AM on 07/20/2012
laughing is my favorite...
timely article for me...thanks!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Mij13
They only call it class war when we fight back.
04:12 AM on 07/20/2012
I like these ideas. Except, one. Comedy clubs? You must be kidding. I wish there were comedy clubs that actually encouraged laughter. My experience has been that they're about anything but comedy, and more for people who have a lot of anger they want to share with the world. Is there a comedy club in NY that I should try?
03:12 AM on 07/20/2012
My favorite threesome? My two girlfriends and me. Great way to destress.
02:45 AM on 07/20/2012
Biking
Laughing
Listening
Interacting on Huffpo until I get stressed, then back thru the loop again.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
kidrooms
Kansas Mom
12:01 AM on 07/20/2012
Maybe a bit of That Girl to make us laugh, Phil Donahue to make me think and listen and yes when I listen to music, I often am riding my bike too...Great thoughts Marlo!!! wink :-)
01:28 AM on 07/22/2012
Yay! How about Make Room for (Marlo's) Daddy? Danny was one of the greats, no question there.

I find that helping others is a great way to de-stress. Anytime I get something from St. Jude in the mail, my money (and heart) goes right out to them.
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11:18 PM on 07/19/2012
Swimming--makes me forget I can no longer walk and eases the pain as well as the stress.

And reading--takes me away on adventures or into other people's lives or teaches me something I didn't know. Always happy to learn something new.

And playing with, or just watching my grandchildren--or even hearing them over the phone. What could possibly make me feel better. And for a great combo--reading to, or swimming with, the grandbabies.
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10:45 PM on 07/19/2012
Having a pile of money helps a lot.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Lisette
Paris is always a good idea!
09:55 PM on 07/19/2012
1. No kids
2. No financial worries
3. Shopping would be my third
09:47 PM on 07/19/2012
"Just a wave of melody to take you back to your inner-self." Absolutely right. But for how long a stay ? The truth is it only gives a transient stay. As we grow from childhood into adulthood we have almost been conditioned to be aware only of the gross and sensory part of our existence. By this time we are deluded into seeing the primary aspect of existence (Underlying subtratum/eternity) as secondary and vice-versa. We need to practice/exercise those sciences that, roughly like an antivirus in a computer system, keep that conditioning at bay. The best mode of doing that, to the best of my understanding, is to study advaita/non-duality.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
alientotech
Twilight Zoning on "Bermuda Grass"
09:38 PM on 07/19/2012
"Freesome Threesome"

been in the wine cellar again....huh?
08:09 PM on 07/19/2012
it all sounds great, except while you are turning the phones off and listening to music, I'm on my way to my second job. (and yes, I am a professional with a masters degree).