A Candid Conversation With Gloria Steinem

"I don't know which one of you I'd like to f**k first."

With those words, a long and beautiful friendship was forged between me and Gloria Steinem.

Let me explain.

In 1967, after the first successful year of my TV series, That Girl, a Hollywood agent had the idea of my playing the part of Gloria, who had just made headlines by going undercover as a bunny at the Playboy Club, exposing the sexism and poor working conditions endured by the women who worked there. I'd never met Gloria, but I'd read her articles and knew she was smart and passionate about women's rights, and I was eager to meet her.

A meeting was set up by the agent, and no more than thirty seconds into it, he beamed at us appreciatively from across his desk, and delivered that jaw-dropping hello.

"Boy, I don't know which one of you I'd like to f**k first."

Boy, did he pick the wrong two women to say that to. I don't think we heard anything else he said that day. The meeting -- and the idea -- came to an immediate end. But for Gloria and me, it was just the beginning.

Gloria was my touchstone in those early days of the women's movement. She brought me into a circle of amazing women who were doing groundbreaking things. She opened my eyes to the power of creating coalitions that actually effected change rather than just talking about it. And she remains, to this day, a beacon on the front lines of feminism.

Last week, I wrote an essay to celebrate International Women's Day, and I received countless comments from women asking, "Where are we now? What do we do now?" -- all of them yearning to reignite the passion they had felt at the dawn of the women's movement.

"My feminist spirit was reawakened," wrote Huffington Post reader Kimberly Satin Kubler, "but I don't know where to begin."

So let's start talking.

We began today. I was thrilled to have Gloria as my guest on today's segment of "Mondays With Marlo" on MarloThomas.com. Click here after 5:00 PM ET to watch video highlights of the event; and here after 6:00 PM ET, to watch the entire event. Also, click here to read Gloria's "10 Pieces of Advice" for women today.

 

Comments

[FTracy3]

03:48 PM on 03/14/2011

He still hadn't figured out the answer by the end of the lunch, and if not for that dilemma that little known and rudely sexist agent would not have gone on to develop the hit sitcom "Three's Company"

[FloridaLAW]

02:53 PM on 03/14/2011

The politics of victimization, Marlo Thomas inherited tremendous wealth and is married to one of the most successful white males in television history and has led a life of great privilege and leisure. I am very aware of her charitable works and that of her father and I have great admiration for that. But claiming victim status over some imprudent comment that was made over 40 years ago is a real stretch. Steinem discredited herself in 2008 when she tried to inject gender politics into the Democratic primary.

[iLuvKOSHi]

01:48 PM on 03/14/2011

Unfortunately, some guys still act like this, like the world is just one big strip club & sexual harassment is a compliment. I think men are victims of chauvinism, too, so I don't entirely blame them, but c'mon... when is this gonna end? Bring on the good guys!

[1088]

01:36 PM on 03/14/2011

No thank you! Where were the so called feminists, when the Republicans were disparaging Michelle Obama? NOWHERE, NOT ONE WORD IN SUPPORT! Oh, Mrs. Obama is the wrong color!!

[FloridaLAW]

02:38 PM on 03/14/2011

You're right on point, Steinem was out in 2008 claiming that Hillary Clinton was some kind of victim of chauvinism because she lost the primary to Obama. I'll never forget that.

[lisalulu]

01:10 PM on 03/14/2011

That was super cool and awesome (the live chat).

[Cuyahoga]

12:24 PM on 03/14/2011

In 1973, newly married and job hunting, a standard question during interviews was "What are you using for birth control," and if you wanted the job, you had to answer the question. (It was not asked of single women because no respectable single woman NEEDED B.C. back then right?) I remember one creepy man in particular enjoying way too much my discomfort at having to respond.

I'm so happy to see Marlo and Gloria's photo - feminists, women everywhere - we need to regroup and reactivate (for those who ever de-activated).

Thank you Marlo and Gloria.

[filomenamain]

12:06 PM on 03/14/2011

I was born in 1965 when these two dynamic women started moving and now I am 46 years old and have a lot to be thankful to them for.I am a fearless woman in a mans world thanks to the two of them and others who taught me to stand up for myself. I am raising two sons who know what it is like to respect women as their equals.I cant wait to hear what Marlo and Gloria have to say,so excited..

[FrannieD]

11:38 AM on 03/14/2011

As a young professional woman trying to make it on my own in NYC, I turn to powerful women like Marlo and Gloria for inspiration. I love reading about their friendship and the history they've made together! They keep me moving in the right direction. I can't wait to see this duo on Mondays with Marlo!

[steven rice]

11:36 AM on 03/14/2011

I can't help but think of all of the women that have had to endure such disrespect in order to have the same rights as my being male...

I grew up in a home where Mom ruled and this was my life lesson that woman can do anything... For this I appreciate the strength of all women...

"Thank You" Marlo for all of your great work in showing us all how to be "Free To Be"...

[Merckx]

11:54 AM on 03/14/2011

Ditto. I grew up in the same kind of household. I never understood men who think women can't be in control their destiny and more. It has always excited me.

[tnlcallen]

10:48 AM on 03/14/2011

Apparently you don't know how to take a compliment.

[BrendaNYC]

10:39 AM on 03/14/2011

When I was a small child, Marlo made NYC seem so exciting and possible. As an older child she let me know I was free to be me. All while Gloria was inspiring my mother and her Ms. reading friends. I thought they were both speaking self-evident truths. I'm a very grown woman now and know we've made strides, but the fight is far from over. There is a ferocious backlash to the last wave of (Marlo and Gloria's) feminism. The pink ghetto is filled with girls and young women consumed with consumerism and image perfection. Women are criticized for the choices they make about their professional and maternal life, often by each other. And in 2011, women are still identified by their maternity. When is the last time you heard someone refer to "dad jeans" or a "dad on the go?"
Thank g-d Marlo and Gloria are still out there for us all, giving hope and keeping us fighting.

[Borborigny]

09:42 AM on 03/14/2011

Don't be so hard on the guy: you were both pretty hot back then. Testosterone is a very hard drug with many unpleasant side effects.

[see-ellen2001]

10:55 AM on 03/14/2011

Ah..we rest our case! Feminists must carry on.

[Cuyahoga]

12:22 PM on 03/14/2011

I'm sure the source(s) of those "very hard drugs" can be removed, what say?

[Borborigny]

03:17 PM on 03/14/2011

Treat those things with loving care -- they're the source of women, too!

[David Campbell]

08:41 AM on 03/14/2011

Be sure to remember that Gloria and almost all feminists of the 70's are from the Silent Generation- 1925-45- that included the civil rights leaders as well as what Martin Scorsese describes as the most creative generation in American history.

[Barbara Hill Bissonnette]

08:41 AM on 03/14/2011

Great idea. Meet you there. I've always loved Marlo, and as I said on a previous thread, when I picture God, She looks a lot like Gloria Steinem. :)

[foodshethought]

07:30 AM on 03/14/2011

I love the ladies but hope Marlo realizes 1967 was nowhere near the early days of the woman's movement.