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Marlo Thomas

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My Husband Is Watching Other Women!

Posted: 07/21/11 09:22 AM ET

You think you know a guy after 31 years of marriage, but last week, I saw my husband break new ground. We'd been watching the Women's World Cup finals, when the doorbell rang. Our friends had arrived for dinner, and after I let them in, I went back to tell Phil it was time to fire up the barbecue.

And there he was, standing in front of our TV, screaming at the screen.

The behavior itself wasn't so strange. It's how Phil gets whenever the Yankees are in a close one, or the Cubs are making an attempt to win one, or -- bar the doors -- when Notre Dame is playing USC. I love sports, too, but Phil is one of those guys who thinks every game is a playoff. It reminds me of that great Erma Bombeck quote: "If a man watches three football games in a row, he should be declared legally dead."

But this was soccer Phil was watching -- women's soccer -- and he wasn't the only guy up on his feet. They were standing across America, cheering these young women on, with all the gusto they usually reserve for macho sports. (And it wasn't lost on me that one of the event's major sponsors was Rogaine.)

We've talked a lot on this page about how women's equality is still a work-in-progress -- from equal pay to equal opportunity to equal respect. And, yes, it was heartbreaking to watch those final minutes of the World Cup (we were so close!). But to see those young women get under the skin of sports fan everywhere, with their fire and their skill, did more to level the playing field than all the debating ever could.

When we watch the Williams sisters tear up the court, or Michelle Wie rocket a golf ball 348 yards, or champion swimmer Diana Nyad prepare for her historic swim from Cuba to Florida -- at age 62! -- we're in awe of their talent as athletes. Not women athletes.

This kind of recognition was unthinkable when I was growing up, when "girls' sports" were pretty much relegated to tetherball and, when space allowed, community softball games. But all of that changed in 1972, when Congress enacted Title IX of the the 1964 Civil Rights Act. The law forbade discrimination on the basis of sex in any federally-assisted education program, ultimately guaranteeing gender equality in everything from the scheduling of games to the provision of locker rooms to the compensation of coaches and tutors.

As I watched those young soccer players with their ponytails flying, I couldn't help but think about the fight for Title IX -- and how it has taught a new generation of girls, from the time they enter grammar school, that they have every right to their own playing field in whatever sport they choose.

As with any civil rights battle, credit is also due to those pioneers who embodied the promise of Title IX by fighting for -- and earning -- their place in sports history.

Like Olympic champs Olga Korbut, Nadia Comaneci and Mary Lou Retton, three stunningly talented young women who not only changed the face of their sport forever, but would help women's gymnastics vault over all other men's events as the centerpiece of Olympic broadcasts.

Like superstar runner Jackie Joyner-Kersee, who not only sprinted into the record books carrying armloads of medals, but, like Jesse Owens before her, also overcame racial discrimination to do what she did best: run faster than anybody.

Like Billie Jean King, who on September 20, 1973, less than 15 months after the enactment of Title IX, obliterated former champion Bobby Riggs on a Houston, Texas, tennis court, in what was called "The Battle of the Sexes." In three straight sets (6-4, 6-3, 6-3), King dispelled Riggs' outrageous claim that "any half-decent male player could defeat even the best female players."

King's victory was seismic, putting to rest, once and for all, the myth of male supremacy in sports, while reminding young girls across the nation that not biology, but skill and talent, were destiny.

After the World Cup, I called Billie Jean. I couldn't wait to hear her reaction.

"Title IX!" she said. "We have to be grateful for all the people who made that happen. I feel very connected to these soccer women. It's like a relay race -- every generation passes the baton on to the next generation, and each generation pushes the envelope for the next. And our generation is the guardian of Title IX.

"Many little girls grow up with the dream of playing sports," she added, "but that dream can't just take place every four years. And though it's great that the whole country was excited about the World Cup, we need to encourage people to support Women's Professional Soccer all year long. That's how to make these girls' dreams come true. But I'm very encouraged. Sports are a microcosm of society, and women are taking the lead in every field."

To all the women on the American Women's World Cup team, congratulations. Final score notwithstanding, you have won big.

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Follow Marlo Thomas on Twitter: www.twitter.com/MarloThomas

You think you know a guy after 31 years of marriage, but last week, I saw my husband break new ground. We'd been watching the Women's World Cup finals, when the doorbell rang. Our friends had arrived...
You think you know a guy after 31 years of marriage, but last week, I saw my husband break new ground. We'd been watching the Women's World Cup finals, when the doorbell rang. Our friends had arrived...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Raejeanowl
02:01 AM on 07/30/2011
I think both men and women need to get over the physical differences once and for all and stop saying there is some threshold we need to surmount in order to qualify as serious, competitive athletes. No more so than say a welterweight vs. a heavyweight, or whatever the case. The strongest women are stronger than the weakest men. But that's not the point.

My husband watches women's sports because he enjoys it in the same way as men's sports. He is not trolling for sexual excitement.
02:10 PM on 07/25/2011
NFL Lockout...Desperate times call for desperate measures!
01:31 PM on 07/25/2011
You should see what he's watching on the computer when you're not home!!!
04:11 AM on 07/25/2011
I also watched the soocer match and rooted hard for the Americans. I also root hard for my local High School boy's basketball team, but in no way do I think that they are ready to compete in the NBA. If the females are so good, why do they insist on being separate from the males (including chromesone tests) in most all sports? In all other endevours, Women's Libbers usually insist on no separation.
02:52 AM on 07/25/2011
The day when women face the fact that they are entitled only to equal opportunity, not to equal rewards, is the day they stop whining that men don't watch women's sports. If you want the rewards, you must earn them, girls.
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abhorson
in favor of legalized bar fighting
02:45 AM on 07/25/2011
in his head, most likely, there was none of the politics, equal rights, billy jean...

he was probably enjoying it .... just try to let him by happy
11:36 AM on 07/25/2011
That's exactly the author's point. Because her husband was simply enjoying the game without thinking about the "politics, equal rights, billy jean..." as you say, the author notes that true gender equality is being realized. Whereas before a televised game of woman's soccer was joked about, now it is being watched and taken seriously. This was a really great article.
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abhorson
in favor of legalized bar fighting
09:56 AM on 07/26/2011
yeah, it was the author's point ... except MY point was that it's NOT about gender equality, and it's not that "women's soccer" is watched or not, or taken seriously or not...

it's about a guy who's enjoying a game ...and that guys do NOT watch and enjoy, or refuse to watch and hate women's sport because of "gender equality" or perceived ideas...

we just like to watch games ... and perhaps we "guys" can just be left well-to-be-alone to enjoy whatever the hell we enjoy without anyone trying to make a political/societal statement out of it - cause that's likely to destroy the fun of the game!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
shankapotomus
09:13 PM on 07/24/2011
And you think hes just now doing that OMG.
06:40 PM on 07/24/2011
I would like to see the women play the men - let's see how equal you gals are.
Good luck!
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sam ella
Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tonight?
11:57 AM on 07/25/2011
sure we can do that right after we watch a man give birth to a baby. Just get along, why keep trying to prove a point all the time?? embrace differences.
01:21 PM on 07/25/2011
When did BABY BIRTHING become a competitive sport? C'mon get real!
02:57 PM on 07/25/2011
Embrace differences - meaning we aren't equal after all? Or embrace differences meaning you want to maintain them?
Personally, I'd be shocked if a high school boys champion team from say, Brazil, couldn't beat the women's team US or Japan.
Love to all and L'Chaim!
06:37 PM on 07/24/2011
The only reason men were interested in that particular women's sporting event was because they were draped in the U.S. flag. Put women in any other sporting event without them representing the U.S. and men will generally not watch. The WNBA is a prime example. Men in general don't like to watch women in sports, unless they are really attractive (sorry, but it's true).

If women want women's sports to have the same level of viewership as men's sports, then women are going to have to start watching them. That's the only way they can ever attain the numbers of men's sports without representing their nation.
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sam ella
Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tonight?
11:58 AM on 07/25/2011
i didn't agree too much with the first part of your comment but the second is a very good argument.
05:37 PM on 07/24/2011
Title IX changed sports allowing young women a chance to enjoy sports beyond recreation, even allowing many to go to college on a athletic scholarship. It did not change the way women are treated in the work place and work pay. It will take more decades before women are a majority rather than a minority in the ceo's office. More women are in college, earning degrees and out earning men, this is the beginning of the changes all women since the suffragettes went out on the street to demand the right to vote.
06:40 PM on 07/24/2011
That an entire family watched the Womens Wold Cup Final, is very telling stuff.It speaks volumes about the future of
04:59 PM on 07/24/2011
Ms. Thomas,

Thank you for your thoughtful article. Like your husband, I am a recovering male jock. Last Sunday's World Cup Final cast a spell upon my househould; it was the first time my entire family---men, women, boys and girls--- gathered around a TV to watch a sporting event start to finish. and we were all rewarded with an immensely dramatic, competitive contest between teams of remarkably gifted athletes.
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04:04 PM on 07/24/2011
Look in the mirror and then honestly ask yourself this question" if I were a man would I give this woman a second look".......... Do not blame your husband for WHAT YOU HAVE BECOME. If you want his desirable eyes looking "only" at you then YOU HAD BETTER GIVE HIM SOMETHING WORTH SEEING. It sounds to me that you are more insecure in your relationship than you give yourself credit. God luck on your "transformation" into his idol once again.
04:56 PM on 07/24/2011
Obviously you didn't read the article.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
AlisonCarnie
I am unique ... just like everyone else
06:13 PM on 07/24/2011
Thank you ...
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
gman123
How anyone votes GOP is beyond me
10:15 PM on 07/24/2011
Really? That's what you got from the article?
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BookKeepersSon
Don't take me alive
01:04 PM on 07/24/2011
" (And it wasn't lost on me that one of the event's major sponsors was Rogaine.)"

A couple of weeks ago I saw a commercial for a pill claiming to increase libido in women.

It was run several times during 3 Stooges shorts.

At first I thought, "Huh?"

Then I figured out the marketing approach. Those folks are geniuses!
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
karen lyons kalmenson
i poem/paint, sometimes, i ain't
11:52 AM on 07/24/2011
watching other women was my ex's favorite sport
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imtruthmonger
Bacteria are more interesting than the GOP
02:42 PM on 07/24/2011
...and probably still is. A friend's mom once said: "When they stop looking, bury them." What is, is what is.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
karen lyons kalmenson
i poem/paint, sometimes, i ain't
07:12 AM on 07/25/2011
Ogling was my ex' triathlon moment;-D
11:46 AM on 07/24/2011
I love the attention woman athletes are getting, but by way of endorsements, men get paid more. We want to see these women. And I think paying them well for endorsements will give a big return for the companies.
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