THE BLOG
03/22/2013 02:01 am ET Updated May 21, 2013

What To Look For In A Husband Post-Divorce

When you're finally ready to remarry post-divorce, you need to know what characteristics to look for in a husband. Although you've been married previously, we're willing to guess that you didn't have a checklist before you took your vows! To help when you're looking for a long lasting, serious(ly) fun relationship that has the possibility of leading to marriage, here are five traits you should look for in a guy:

His actions match his words. One of the most important traits to look for in a long-term mate is that what they do is consistent with what they say they're going to do. If he calls when he says he's going to call, arrives when he says he's going to arrive, and is consistent over time, you can safely assume that this type of behavior will continue throughout the course of your relationship. When you decide to commit to each other, having someone who you can count on to do what he says he's going to do is crucial and will contribute to a happy, healthy relationship (provided you do the same).

He has strong communication skills. Guys who are able to identify their feelings, express them appropriately andnmanage them will most likely have an easier time being in a relationship with a mature woman who has the same skills. Although it can be attractive at first when a guy is closed off and mysterious, as time goes on you're probably going to get frustrated. Having important conversations about commitment, kids and finances is going to be extremely difficult if your guy can't tell you his opinion. When you find a guy who can tell you clearly how he feels and is someone you can agree and disagree with in a healthy way, he might be the guy you want to put a ring on your finger.

He can take charge and make decisions. When you get married, having a spouse who can handle a difficult situation makes all the difference in the world. This doesn't mean you should look for someone who orders for you (or orders you around!), but if you find a guy who can masterfully solve a problem or protect you from a threat (even if it's just a pushy salesman), it's an amazing trait that you will want your long-term mate to have in his arsenal.

He has a great sense of humor. Any man who can see the lighter side of a somewhat serious situation is a great catch -- provided he does it in an appropriate way, of course. Finding a guy with a solid sense of humor moves him closer to the husband material category. If he makes you laugh when you're feeling down or helps lighten up your mood, you may have struck upon a diamond in the rough. Don't let this guy get away too fast; laughter can keep relationships fun and exciting, and a good belly laugh always makes any day better.

He shares a similar value set. When you're looking for "the one" -- the person you're likely to be with forever (or at least for a long time) -- sharing the same values is make-it-or-break-it. Perhaps it's common religious beliefs, if that means a lot to you, or even having the same views on family or raising kids if you decide to have them. Sharing values will not only bring you closer together, but it will also help to solidify your bond in the long term.

When you're looking for a serious relationship after divorce, remember that like attracts like. Working on your own happiness is a great first step in moving to toward a healthy, loving relationship.

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