THE BLOG
05/01/2013 02:23 pm ET Updated Jul 01, 2013

Controversies in Wedding Scheduling

A friend of mine once sent a pre-Save the Date email letting people know the basic plans for his wedding, since it involved travel. He received a reply "Really, a Sunday? Saturday would be much more convenient for me and a lot of other people." That guest's actual Save the Date and invitation somehow got lost in the mail, but it raises an interesting question. How much should you pay attention to other people's needs and opinions in scheduling your wedding? Are some wedding dates more convenient for guests than others?

As with everything related to weddings, there's a lot of debate. Some people find a wedding over a three day weekend like Memorial Day or Fourth of July to be presumptuous. Airfare and hotel prices may be higher (and harder to get) and they feel the invitation is asking people to spend their limited vacation time at their wedding. Others find it thoughtful since it means fewer people will need to take a day off for travel to attend the wedding. This can be especially true for winter holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas, when friends may be away but family members may already be in the area.

It's worth noting as well that for Jewish couples, a three-day weekend is a major plus. Jewish laws about the Sabbath make a Saturday night wedding very difficult (especially during the summer). Most Jewish weddings are held on Sunday and having a three-day weekend allows couples to have an evening wedding.

It isn't just holiday weekends that cause controversy. Is it rude to have a wedding on Mother's Day or Father's Day? What about over a holiday that not everyone celebrates like Easter or Passover? Sometimes when people are offended by this idea it seems that they believe everyone has the same family traditions that they do. Not everyone is in the habit of spending Father's Day or Mother's Day with their parents (or children) and the parents of the wedding couple may feel especially honored to have the wedding on that day.

Ultimately, you have to remember that you can't please everyone. If you've checked your wedding date with the guests most important to you, you should feel free to schedule it as you like. However, guests and couples alike need to remember that a wedding invitation is not a summons. Receiving a wedding invitation does not mean you have to attend the wedding. Giving someone an invitation does not mean he or she is obligated to attend.

Looking for a good wedding date? Check out this list of 2013 and 2014 wedding dates.

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