02/21/2008 04:35 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

"Life Of Barack": Obama Blows Nose - Denies Being Messiah


"About a half-hour into a speech here, the Illinois Democrat announced that he had to take a quick break. 'Gotta blow my nose here for a second' Obama said. Out came a Kleenex (or perhaps it was a hankie), and he wiped his nose.

The near-capacity audience at the Reunion Arena, which his campaign said totaled 17,000, broke out in a slightly awkward applause." - The Baltimore Sun - February 20, 2008


"Ultimately I am an imperfect vessel for your hopes and dreams"
- Barack Obama - February 20, 2008

FOLLOWERS: Master! The Master! Master! Master!

FOLLOWERS: Speak to us, Master! Speak to us!

BRIAN: Go away!

FOLLOWERS: A blessing! A blessing!

A FOLLOWER: How shall we go away, Master?!

BRIAN: Oh, just go away! Leave me alone!

FIRST FOLLOWER: Give us a sign!

SECOND FOLLOWER: He has given us a sign! He has brought us to this place!

BRIAN: I didn't bring you here! You just followed me!

FIRST FOLLOWER: Oh, it's still a good sign by any standard.

SECOND FOLLOWER: Master! Your people have walked many miles to be with You! They are weary and have not eaten.

BRIAN: It's not my fault they haven't eaten!

FIRST FOLLOWER: There is no food in this high mountain!

BRIAN: Well, what about the juniper bushes over there?

FOLLOWERS: A miracle! A miracle! Oooohh!...

SECOND FOLLOWER: He has made the bush fruitful by His words.

YOUTH: They have brought forth juniper berries.

BRIAN: Of course they've brought forth juniper berries! They're juniper bushes! What do you expect?!

SECOND FOLLOWER: Show us another miracle!

FIRST FOLLOWER: Do not tempt Him, shallow ones! Is not the miracle of the juniper bushes enough?!

FOLLOWERS: A miracle! He is the Messiah!


BRIAN: I'm not the Messiah!

FIRST FOLLOWER: I say You are, Lord, and I should know. I've followed a few.

FOLLOWERS: Hail Messiah!

BRIAN: I'm not the Messiah! Will you please listen? I am not the Messiah, do you understand?! Honestly!

THIRD FOLLOWER: Only the true Messiah denies His divinity.

BRIAN: What?! Well, what sort of chance does that give me? All right! I am the Messiah!

FOLLOWERS: He is! He IS the Messiah!

BRIAN: Now, fuck off!

FIRST FOLLOWER: How shall we fuck off, O Lord?

BRIAN: Oh, just go away! Leave me alone.

- From "Monty Python's Life Of Brian" (1979)


Don't follow leaders

Watch the parking meters...
- Bob Dylan