"Tiger" Woods: Let the Punishment Fit the Crime

03/18/2010 05:12 am 05:12:02 | Updated May 25, 2011

There's a simple solution to the "Tiger" Woods problem -- and a reasonable chance that it will help deter the flock of women who are attracted to him.

(Some of these women are so desperate, deluded and lacking in judgment that they think that Gloria "Where Are The Cameras?" Allred is the answer to their problems) 2009-12-09-pt34_esso_put_a_tiger_in_your_tank_750.jpg When you are a major celebrity who messes up -- especially in the sexual area -- it should become mandatory that you lose the right to use your "stage name" or "showbiz name" or whatever glorified nickname you have invented for yourself and use as a marketing tool to help you squeeze gazillions out of sponsors, squeeze headlines out of newspapers and squeeze yourself into floozies.

No matter how good you are at playing the so-called "sport" of golf -- you aren't going to be quite so attractive to women, sponsors or journalists if you are only known by your real name.

Eldrick Woods.

Why don't we cut him some slack and allow him to use his legal middle name as well?

Not quite so glamorous is it Mr. Woods?

"Oh come on -- please do me ELDRICK!"

"Omigod -- you're like an ELDRICK tonight!!!"