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Marty Kaplan

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Political March Madness

Posted: 02/13/2012 11:29 am

Will Hillary be Obama's running mate, with Biden going to State if they win? Will Romney wrap things up on Super Tuesday, or will there be a brokered Republican convention, with Ron Paul as kingmaker? Will Democrats take back the House but lose the Senate?

Who knows? Who cares?

It makes sense, of course, to care about what actually happens. Who will pick the next Supreme Court Justices, whether people with pre-existing conditions will be able to get health insurance, if women will be kissing their reproductive rights goodbye: Plenty of crucial consequences will depend on who wins and who loses.

But predicting what will happen in November has to be one of the biggest wastes of time since the last Adam Sandler movie you saw. It really doesn't matter what any of us thinks.

OK, here's the exception: If a prediction motivates you to write a check or knock on doors, then the psychology of prophecy might make a difference to the outcome of an election. For some people, contributing time or money to a campaign -- and that's what counts, not palaver -- requires believing how some talk radio gasbag or cable "strategist" says it will all play out.

But for most people, speculating about what's going to happen next, imagining different scenarios, finding signs in Super PACs and portents in polls -- it's pretty much all entertainment. Following politics is fun the way following sports is fun. No one really knows whether Wake Forest or UConn will make the Final Four, but half the enjoyment of March Madness is pretending that you do. Who you're rooting for or betting on will have no impact on who will win the championship, but that doesn't diminish the pleasure to be had from predictions. As long as you recognize that anticipating the twists and turns of the presidential race is the political equivalent of picking brackets, it's a harmless hobby.

On the other hand, the political media believe that their job is to make us ravenous for each new installment of the melodrama. Without campaign cliffhangers every 20 minutes, there's no reason to stay tuned to this channel or to refresh that Web page. Because ratings and clicks are what keep the news business in business, there's a premium on captivating our attention and an urgency to making everything seem urgent.

You'd think we'd wise up. After living through a few election cycles, you'd think we'd have figured out that the characters are more important than the plot. You'd think we'd demand more airtime for covering issues and less for hyping suspense. And by issue journalism, I don't mean stenography, I mean accountability. Journalism doesn't return the First Amendment's favor by giving campaigns a free megaphone. Citizens are bombarded by talking points incessantly; what's needed are more and better bullshit detectors. But what we get instead is, "Tonight is a make or break moment for Rick Perry." Looking back, it's easy to say, Herman Cain? Really? But which networks are now doing to "Obamacare is a government takeover of the healthcare system" what they failed to do to 9-9-9?

It's no mystery why we're suckers for stories. Our species loves narratives. Tell me "once up on a time," and I won't leave till I know the ending. Tell me "it was a dark and stormy night," and the neurons in my brain are on fire. Scheherazade saved her own life by embedding stories within stories. If she'd told "Aladdin's Wonderful Lamp" all the way to the end, at dawn the king would have had her killed like the thousand virgins before her. Instead, she nested "Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves" within "Aladdin," and "The Seven Voyages of Sinbad the Sailor" within "Ali Baba," and so on night after night, and the king was putty in her hands.

TV's Road to the White House soap opera is a pale substitute for One Thousand and One Nights, so it's impressive what a little brass and drum theme music and some you-won't-want-to-miss-this framing can do to turn another day of asinine campaign coverage into a thriller. Paying close attention to it gives us the illusion of doing our patriotic duty, adding a civic virtue to keeping current that watching NCAA hoops can't provide.

In that kind of media world, when we bump into one another at the real or virtual water cooler, it's perfectly natural to quiz each other about what's going to happen next. Do you think Romney's going to pick Rubio? What are the odds that Obama will wuss out on the Bush tax cuts? It's in the candidates' interests to spend their time selling messages, and it's in the networks' interests to spend their time selling audiences to advertisers. But I'm not sure it's in the public interest for the rest of us to be deputized as cable news anchors, and as guests on each other's imaginary shows.

This is my column from The Jewish Journal of Greater Los Angeles. You can read more of my columns here, and e-mail me there if you'd like.

 

Follow Marty Kaplan on Twitter: www.twitter.com/martykaplan

 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
cheryl tobin
Alpha Dog with my pack!
10:22 AM on 02/16/2012
Thank you Marty, I think I'll turn off the computer and go about enjoying my day.
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Djay0252
American First, Second, and ALWAYS
10:13 AM on 02/15/2012
The good people of American see right through the Republican strategy and if they want votes they better come up with a better one...like caring what happens to the American people.
01:00 PM on 02/14/2012
Seldom, if ever, do the stars align themselves in so potentially a favorable array as now for the Democratic Party going into the November elections.

The two top national vote getters in the entire country are Democrats.

The pair, of course, is Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton.

The word SWEEP comes to mind.

President Obama indeed is on track for re-election but when the day comes by a close vote, very close. And hardly enough to garner majorities BOTH the Senate and the House, a tall order in anyone’s book, yes, but entirely possible.

A Democratic SWEEPm though, is entirely possible, that is, if Democrats take advantage of their good fortune in having the two top vote getters in the nation and pair them at the TOP OF THE TICKET.

Barack Obama for President.

Hillary Clinton for Vice President.

Just think about what is at stake come November:

Not only continued improvemen¬t in the jobs market, but just as well affordable health care, a healthy and thriving Medicare and Medicaid, Social Security guaranteed for the next 75 years at least, better elementary and secondary schools and schooling and more affordable higher education, tough surveillan¬ce of Wall Street and its banking and corporate clients, energy independen¬ce, renewed environmental protections, campaign finance reform, fairer taxation and a closing of the income gap. For starters.

Yes.

Barack Obama for President.

Hillary Clinton for Vice President.

Happy days can be here again!
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
02:07 PM on 02/14/2012
Fanned for hopefulness. I hope you are right in all areas.
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philhellene
Far Left and Proud of It!
11:16 AM on 02/14/2012
There ought to be some score-keeping on just whose predictions actually came true. The next time they open their mouths, their score would pop up.

"Bubble-headed bleach blond has been accurate on her predictions _____ percent of the time."
10:12 AM on 02/14/2012
I agree that the media have pretty much abdicated their responsibility to do more than report every specious contention as just another point of view, instead of making some judgments about which assertions hold water and which don't.

But do I follow the current political reporting because I find it entertaining in the same way I might find watching the movie of the week or a sporting event entertaining? Hardly. Neither of those activities creates waves of nausea in the same way that watching our political culture unfolding and disintegrating does. No, I follow it in horror and only because I see so much of what I believe in and what I think people have struggled to achieve eroded in part by the kind of complacency that, at bottom, is reinforced by this article.

At the end of the day, the author essentially concludes that the whole current political debacle is ennobled to the extent that it prompts people to go out and "write a check" or "knock on doors"? Heck, I'm not voting for Obama because I like him all that much, or because I think his policies are really designed to help the middle class and the less fortunate, or because he is less of a politician than the others, or because he is not owned by the pernicious effects of money in politics just like all the rest. I'm doing it because the alternative is so much worse.
Pauline Jaing
Artist, worker, mother
07:12 AM on 02/14/2012
Indeed. Even demonstrations are absurd -- in Greece they've been demonstrating in proportions of almost HALF the populatioon, and it makes NO DIFFERENCE AT ALL, they TAKE from the ordinary people to pay for thier won mistakaes and disgusting NINE mansions or more.

And then at the same moment, 10,000 people show up in Moscow, which is a miniscule percentage of the population of even Moscow, must less all of Russia, and HIllary Clinton tell su this is a rebellion!

I could not even pray to God if I swallowed this disgusting show of OUTRAGEOUS lies and raw force.
06:15 AM on 02/14/2012
If the U.S. public thinks the corporate media and their rich, pampered and privileged celebrity pundits, news readers and faux journalists represent the legitimate 4th Estate then they have become the victims of brainwashing.
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LMPE
I connect the most dissimilar things
12:53 AM on 02/14/2012
on the plus side, it makes for some great SNL skits
12:43 AM on 02/14/2012
give me some good cold water right now.
CactusTom
My New Novel
12:11 AM on 02/14/2012
It's human nature to love a good contest whether it's sports or politics. So what's your point? Change human nature?
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11:43 PM on 02/13/2012
If we had more reporters in the media that had a simple, logical, and intelligent interpretation as Mr. Kaplan of the circus in the media, we would not be "given" the candidates "favored" by their biased owners and favored by the elitists. Repoters only repeat information fed to them. Where are the reporters that actually write( or type) in their own words, research, and inform based on facts? Instead we end up with arrogant, superficial, and idealistic props in a popularity contest.
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AvgJoeBlow
We are smarter than any of us.
08:25 AM on 02/14/2012
LOL - So true, what are the odds of being a reporter on Faux, if your not in your 20's, Blond, Long legged, and drop dead gourgous?
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11:32 PM on 02/14/2012
Yup, it is sad when the critaria is..overzealous with vanity and pompous arrogance not intelligence and common sense. :O
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Transit
"Hunger is the best pickle"
10:55 PM on 02/13/2012
What you're saying is our journalists are crappy and are letting us down. Couldn't agree more.
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Djay0252
American First, Second, and ALWAYS
10:27 AM on 02/15/2012
Yes they are but they are writing and printing what they think the American public wants and if you look over at the HP favorites you will see what I mean.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
shakylegs
09:15 PM on 02/13/2012
But of course, the media have their own agenda. Which story will get top billing?
"LINDSAY LOHAN GOES TO JAIL" or "NATIONAL DEBT GROWS BY ONE TRILLION"

You guessed it!
08:06 PM on 02/13/2012
This was one of the sanest comments I've read on our election insanity. Thanks for the breath of fresh air. A story after my own heart.

Anastasia

http://anastasiastoryteller.blogspot.com/.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
heartlandmamma
07:31 PM on 02/13/2012
Brilliant and to the point. Too bad the public has no more affect on forcing the blabbermouths in the media to actually cover things like who the next Supreme Court justice will be, what the ACA's actual component parts cover, what the truth is about income disparity and job growth in this economy, or even how the investment banks were the real culprits in mortgage crisis, etc...It's all a shell game to keep the masses tuned in but hardly informed as a knowing electorate should be in a civil society. All I know these days is which billionaire is the benefactor of which designated candidate. The last dustup over contraception proved that facts become arbitrary over emotion...where "religious freedom" become buzzwords over real issues of women's health and American pluralism. Americans have become Pavlov's dog when they hear the latest polls and utterances of the punditocracy...time to Occupy the Media and hold them accountable. If not, I'll wait for November and do my civic duty...it won't be a hard decision for me at all! The President's got my vote as do all progressive Democrats up and down the ballot.