Should a nice Canadian gal sell her soul "just a little" to rake up a few thousand more book sales or should she take the high road and hope her message won't get lost in the din of the circus that surrounds her?
Now trust me -- I am not suggesting I am the Mother Theresa of the book world -- on the contrary. From what I recall the title of my book reads something like "My Husband left me for Tori Spelling . . . And you thought your Divorce Sucked!" by Mary Jo Eustace. And believe me I am quite flattered when people like Perez Hilton say that I am a "mediawhore of the written word." It makes me sound like I have a marketable skill and that I know how to self promote. Plus -- let's face it -- I have been called way worse.
And part of the reason that I allowed that to be part of the title is because it says I get the joke, I am in on it and I am ready to own it. In sharing my story, warts and all, I really believe it will help other men and women. And from your responses so far, that seems to be the case.
But herein lies the rub. As much as I love those big publications being interested in spreading the word the trade off is a tough call. And I think I am failing. I have been dumped twice already this week for not dishing the dirt. I have been prodded, nudged and pushed to give these magazines what they want and I just can't do it! What is wrong with me? Am I too Canadian?
I mean why don't I just close my eyes and think of England and pray it will be over soon. I have college educations to pay for, future cosmetic procedures and perhaps additional therapy after my book tour. Can I really afford to be so neutral?
And all I had to do was dish and there would be at least a two page spread (with pictures!!) if not a cover insert!! Sure my basic interview was good, but clearly not quite making the cut. According to my interviewer, Star magazine had just run an article saying my ex husband was a "sex addict!!!" and a "serial cheater!!!" and did I know?? (And if I did -- were there personal photos and video footage to back it up)? I had to think about that one . . .
Also -- hadn't I just attended my son's birthday with my ex husband and his wife -- Laser Tag to be specific! Was there drama? Was Tori there? Was she in coma or hooked up to an IV and did my ex husband seem angry about the book (kind of) or did he ask for an autographed copy for his wife? Plus did my Laser Tag game suffer because I was so worried about Tori's health and the strife my book was causing? What really happened because "sources" said you could cut the tension with a knife and someone left in tears.
Well -- uh nothing happened. Everyone seemed in fairly good health, the pizza was late and the cake was delicious. Sure there were a few ex husbands there -- not just mine either. Seems half the party had been on the "divorce cruise" and it was all working itself out.
I even managed to have an interesting talk though with a really cool divorced dad. I have met his ex wife several times and she is the bomb so I knew a little bit about the story (he married her best friend). I also know that when he went away on a trip with his new wife she babysat their "new kid." So clearly they have it kind of worked out and this is what he said the secret to divorce is:
Never cheat or lie and make a clean break first before moving on,
AND
Make your ex wife happy no matter what. Give her what she needs and what she wants and it will be the best thing you can ever do, not only for her but for you and your family.
Love it! I wanted to talk to him for hours because I found what he said so fascinating and smart. But alas the party was over and it was time to go. So I got Jack to thank his dad, packed up the cake and left to go home. Sure it was a bit awkward being around my ex and his new wife but no more awkward then being asked during an interview to produce naked pictures and time lines of orgies that presumably took place in my basement.
So for now I will remain Canadian and just stick to what I originally set out to do -- to write a book that people can relate to and get something out of.
Sorry to say -- it is simple as that.
Copyright 2009 Mary Jo Eustace, author of Divorce Sucks: What to do when irreconcilable differences, lawyer fees, and your ex's Hollywood wife make you miserable