Your child has been known to bully. You, as a parent, may be struggling with how to stop this behavior. I have two suggestions that go hand-in-hand: Teach empathy and try to eliminate the violence that they take in on a daily basis through videos, the Internet, movies and games.
To my first point, teaching empathy is regularly recommended as a way to help stop bullying. Empathy is the ability to identify and understand another person's feelings. It's putting yourself in someone else's shoes and then extending kindness based on that understanding. Empathy is needed to express care, love and concern, as well as to share times of sadness and despair.
Children who bully often do not understand the impact of their actions, or seem to be immune to the suffering of others. So, helping them develop an empathic capacity should lessen bullying behaviors.
So, how exactly do you teach empathy to your child? Here are a few suggestions:
•Use everyday activities to model empathy. Show your sympathetic feelings towards those who are less fortunate than you, or have recently experienced hardship. If there is a story on the news about someone who lost their home in a fire, or who lost family in a car accident, speak about how sorry you feel and about how that person on the news must feel.
•If a friend or neighbor lost their job, discuss how difficult that will be for that person and the sadness or anxiety they may feel.
•If you see a homeless person, have a conversation with your child about the tragedy and causes of homelessness and why helping at a shelter, donating clothing or money is important.
•Use examples to show your child what they have in common with others. If they can picture the similarities, it's easier for them to understand others' feelings. For example, discuss the local impact and devastation of a hurricane, tornado, flood or fire, and how fortunate they are that they are safe. Then, brainstorm about ways that they can help with those impacted.
•Use reports about bullying that appear on the news as discussion points. Too often, they are tragic cases of suicide by a teen who was plagued by bullies. Discuss how that child must have felt, how his/her parents feel now and the ramifications for all involved in the bullying process.
•Model positive, caring behavior. Acts of kindness or concern are a good way to teach your child empathy. Have your child come with you when you bring a meal to your friend who is ill or visit someone in the hospital.
•Praise your child when they display empathic behavior. Give them immediate feedback. "It was so nice of you to help Ms. Smith (an elderly neighbor) with her groceries, she really appreciated it," or "Thank you so much for hugging your brother when he fell down and cried; you made him feel better."
Now, to my second point about eliminating the intake of violence from your child's life, I believe that there is a connection to the increase in bullying behaviors among school-aged children and their constant intake of violence.
Children are constantly exposed to violence on TV, movies the Internet and video games. Often, the perpetrator is viewed as the victor. This constant feed of violence may also make them numb to the suffering of others. It stands to reason that if they are constantly watching movies or playing games whereby those who inflict suffering or death "win" -- it works in direct contrast with building empathy.
Be aware of the types of video games, TV shows and movies that your children view; screen them. Remember that besides sending out negative messages about how others should be treated or disputes resolved, these violent images are in their minds forever. ou can't "unsee" something. Shield them from this unnecessary violence, even if they complain and protest. Have a list of other games, videos, movies, comedies and sports programs that they can enjoy instead. My guess is that they will thank you for it when they are older.
So, here's to a happy, healthy and bully-free 2014!
For more information about bullying and other child safety issues please visit www.nyspcc.org.
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
It's Another Trump-Biden Showdown — And We Need Your Help
The Future Of Democracy Is At Stake
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
The 2024 election is heating up, and women's rights, health care, voting rights, and the very future of democracy are all at stake. Donald Trump will face Joe Biden in the most consequential vote of our time. And HuffPost will be there, covering every twist and turn. America's future hangs in the balance. Would you consider contributing to support our journalism and keep it free for all during this critical season?
HuffPost believes news should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their ability to pay for it. We rely on readers like you to help fund our work. Any contribution you can make — even as little as $2 — goes directly toward supporting the impactful journalism that we will continue to produce this year. Thank you for being part of our story.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
It's official: Donald Trump will face Joe Biden this fall in the presidential election. As we face the most consequential presidential election of our time, HuffPost is committed to bringing you up-to-date, accurate news about the 2024 race. While other outlets have retreated behind paywalls, you can trust our news will stay free.
But we can't do it without your help. Reader funding is one of the key ways we support our newsroom. Would you consider making a donation to help fund our news during this critical time? Your contributions are vital to supporting a free press.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our journalism free and accessible to all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you'll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.