A recent Forbes blog written by a 19-year-old college student raised an interesting issue: Women of the millennial generation are afraid to lead. Why? Because instead of hearing the "girl power" message that girls can do anything and be anything, this generation of women got the message that they had to do everything and be everything. And they had to do it perfectly... or not at all.
It's not surprising that so many women are choosing the latter option. Why even try to be a fearless leader if you're afraid of what people will be saying about you behind your back? Instead of empowering this generation of women, we've frightened them into inaction. This does not bode well for our society.
For generations, women like Susan B. Anthony, Margaret Sanger, and Gloria Steinem fought for women to have equal rights and hold positions of power. Yet fewer and fewer women are holding seats in Congress. Women comprise only 2 percent of Fortune 500 CEOs, 8 percent of top leadership positions, and 20 percent of college presidencies. If you were hoping the millennial generation was going to change that, think again.
But can you blame them? Look at the media's representation of today's women in power. Take the most recent presidential campaign. It seemed to me that the news media spent more time criticizing Sarah Palin's and Hillary Clinton's wardrobe choices than they did their political viewpoints. Did you hear moment-to-moment coverage of Barack Obama's suit selection? Of course not. But it seems that, for women, that kind of criticism is okay.
So is it any wonder that today's women are so afraid to be in positions of power? Not only do they have to be perfect, they have to look perfect. Men are simply not held to those dual standards. Caroline Heldman and her colleagues have argued that the media's focus on women's appearance may even be hindering women's abilities to obtain positions of power. Specifically addressing Elizabeth Dole's bid for the presidency in 1999, they criticized the media for treating Dole as if "she was a novelty in the race rather than a strong contender with a good chance of winning." Diana B. Carlin and Kelly L. Winfrey from the University of Kansas made a similar argument about the media's treatment of Clinton and Palin in the 2008 campaigns. "The analysis indicates that there was a considerable amount of negative coverage of both candidates and that such coverage has potential to cast doubt on a woman's suitability to be commander-in-chief or in the wings," they wrote.
What are we to do? How can we reassure future generations of women that they can and should hold positions of power, knowing that they will have to fight a media storm of sexism? By setting good examples. By doing things that scare us and letting our daughters watch us succeed. By being positive role models for tomorrow's women (and men). By owning up to our dreams and making them happen.
I encourage you to pick one area of your life that needs improvement -- something you've known needed to change, but that you have been too afraid to do anything about. Maybe you've always wanted to write a book. Or ask for a raise. Or lose 10 pounds. Or learn how to play the cello. It doesn't matter. Dream big and take small steps to make your dreams happen. Start today. Start now. After all, how can you honestly tell your kids that they can do anything or be anything they want to when you yourself have forgotten how to dream?
For more by Mary Pritchard, click here.
For more on becoming fearless, click here.
Follow Mary Pritchard on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Mary E Pritchar
Michael Drew: Fearless Creating: The 'Ephron Effect'
Michael Drew: Andy Griffith's Fearlessly Joyful Work Ethic
Terri Cole: Becoming Fearlessly Independent
Phil Stutz, M.D.: The Fearless Force Of Forward Motion
Accountability is like sunlight to a vampire for many, many women.
Modern feminism has bred this in them.
But...leadership also requires self assurance...and well, leadership....
On a thread the other day about pornography...I saw a woman ask "my bf watches porn and I don't know if I SHOULD be jealous..."
SHOULD?
She wasn't wondering if she was or was not jealous...what she actually felt was irrelevant to her...she wanted to know what she SHOULD feel...
Now, the real question is whether women's self doubt is a cultural phenomena or a biological one.
Insecurity holds back many very talented women.
Oh really? What about all the studies showing that tall men have significant advantages in life? Career advantages, relationship advantages. Men are judged on looks too, especially on physical characteristics that aren't easily changeable, such as height.
Facing certain death, facing bullets, facing crucifixion, facing execution, facing starvation, freezing to death, beatings and torture is what leaders have done through out the centuries.
Worrying about someone making fun of them or saying their butt is too big or their hair do is unflattering?
Are. You. Kidding. Me?
Sorry, there's no quotas, affirmative action or Title XYZ for leadership.
The man was a senator for 30 years.
We didn't give up and now we make over 100k/year. Quitting should only be an option when you're dead or too old to care. Good luck!
Boys at least had counterexamples to look up to. "So you don't get straight As. That's OK, Bill Gates dropped out of college!" And so on. 30 years ago, men who made mistakes or had flaws still had a chance to succeed. Women, not so much. Sadly, it hasn't changed as much as we like to think.
Why step up and take the slings and arrows of leadership, when you can pull the strings behind the scenes and get what you want without the hassle of responsibility?
When things are wrong, we blame men. We blame men for war while enjoying the profit but not the duty. We blame men when we don't get paid more than they do, or don't get ahead like they do - while ignoring they put in over time to get ahead.
We recognize another woman is NOT going to give up her seat on a lifeboat to save ours, while a man will certainly force another man to do just that.
It's a nice, comfortable arrangement. Blame, complain and demand.
It's working out quite nicely.
It's "too hard" to accept that YOU are to blame for every thing that's wrong in life, and that you are responsible for things you have no control over.
It's "too hard" to be told you are slacking off and not even looking for work or going to college because of some magical thinking that your are "priviledged" when in fact, it's quite the opposite.
Young men realize that the deck is stacked against them, so instead of killing themselves for the privilege of subsidizing their first wife's affair or dealing with rejection, they're just getting smart. They're not pushing for marriage and family any more, so there's no incentive for achievement (and since you do achieve, you're despised for it because, after all, "you're a man" ...).
Well, that's not quite true. A lot of dudes are looking overseas for sensible women without a lot of feminist dogma in their purses. Why go be some American woman's excuse for a divorce when there are millions of third world women with more traditional values who find green cards really sexy?
But American women? That's a high-risk assignment. Better to play videogames and watch porn than inflict that on yourself.
"Even the Pope" had help from the Nuns who participated in covering up church scandals, or participating in scandals themselves.
If "girl power" is going to help save this country, young ladies need to learn to accept blame for their own short comings instead of always blaming men.
Women always have been as corrupt as men - more so if you figure they are the ones behind the scenes pulling the strings while men are out there doing their dirty work.