After two months of chest pains, I finally got in to see a cardiologist. The verdict? There's nothing wrong with my heart.
While I was ecstatic at the news, it begged the question: why the chest pains? And then it hit me: there is such a thing as a broken heart.
I had it when my father passed five and a half years ago -- the dull ache that wouldn't go away. The grief counselor told me it was normal. Two weeks later, the pain disappeared.
But this time...? Another man. Not my father, but my romantic partner. My heart knew it was over long before my head did. But then it should, when it comes to matters of the heart.
After my divorce a year and a half ago, I had hoped I wouldn't have to go through this kind of heartache again. And truth be told, the end of my 21-year relationship with my ex-husband didn't hurt this much. I knew that relationship was over -- it had lasted years longer than it should have.
But this time I wasn't ready for it to be over. Yes, I knew we had our challenges but I thought they could be addressed. Of course, that only works when both parties are committed to addressing them...
My heart broke when my father died; it broke again when I got divorced -- not by my ex, but by my own self-criticism about my failed marriage; and here I am again. Third time's the charm and with this broken heart I feel as though I've learned more than I did from the first two. And from where I'm sitting, these lessons were 100 percent worth the pain.
So what did I learn? So much, but for brevity's sake, I've boiled it down to my top seven:
- Always trust your intuition. You know that Taylor Swift song, "I Knew You Were Trouble?" It was playing through my head the entire time my ex and I were on our third date, a date that by all means went really well, was incredibly romantic, and lasted for hours. I had other little nudges along the way that told me things weren't right between us; nudges I ignored. I don't regret anything -- were it not for life's little lessons, we wouldn't grow and change. But next time, when my intuition is screaming at me, I think I'll pay attention.
Okay, I lied about picking seven, here's my bonus tip:
8. Always listen to your body. If you're constantly sick, that's sign something is not right with your life. It may or may involve your relationship, but your body is your best barometer of not only your physical health, but your life and relationship health as well.
I hope these tips serve you. Here's to your happy, healthy relationship!