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MaryAnn Sleasman

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America's Got Talent Recap: That Time Howard Stern Made a Child Cry on National TV

Posted: 05/22/2012 6:33 pm

To be fair, Sharon also buzzed Mir Money, the pint-sized rapper from Philly. And to be fair to Mir Money, his audition will not, by any stretch of the imagination, go down in America's Got Talent history as one of the many cringe-inducing performances by some of the more unfortunate hopefuls to offer themselves up to the twisted trio of Sharon Osbourne, Howie Mandel, and Howard Stern. He was cute, and in a few years, he may be an MC to be reckoned with, but for now, he's a 7-year-old who can rap better than most other 7-year-olds. Had he been advanced to the Las Vegas rounds, more than likely he would have been quickly eliminated by a more spectacular act, and like Sharon pointed out, it would have been cruel to prolong the process.

Part of me is wondering who in the hell thought unleashing the full, unbiased (OK, maybe a little biased, I mean, we've seen how harsh these judges can be, and they kept their comments pretty polite with Money) wrath of the judges on a child who is neither a prodigy nor a seasoned entertainer. No one likes to see a little kid cry and while his age certainly didn't entitle him a free pass to Vegas without the amazing talent to back it up, it should have at least gotten whoever is in charge of the vetting process for this show to exercise a little common sense.

Watching children cry is not entertaining. Watching Howard Stern get booed is only entertaining when he doesn't appear to feel truly bad about the reason why he's getting booed. Howard headed up to the stage to do some damage control when the boo-hiss tidal wave started crashing the judges' table. He gave Mir a hug and Nick Cannon carried the kid off to the wings. Howard briefly considered changing his vote to a yes but the others talked him out of it.

So, Mir Money's "no" stayed a "no," but it was a guilty "no" that felt bad about itself for the rest of the night. And what did the rest of the night hold? Well, despite recruiting in New York City, I didn't think it held much.

Acrobatic basketball group The Flyte Cru was pretty sweet. I think I would have appreciated their skills more of the camera work wasn't intent on giving me motion sickness during their audition. The Olate Dogs were a dog show that I guess was entertaining to people who like dog shows. I'm not one of them, but hey, if it's your cup of tea, they looked like they did it well.

Horse entered the stage intending to "shock the shock jock," but Howard's expression was one of utter delight, rather than astonishment. Horse's talent was getting nailed in the balls repeatedly, sometimes with sledge hammers. He said that "cups are for cheaters," which I expect to find on a T-shirt in the merch tent if he ever takes the gig on the road. Not that I would ever willingly go see said show, but still, I'd like to know that the shirt is there.

Rounding out the evening was the band Howie described as "Jay-Z meets Pink Floyd," Wordspit the Illest and another geriatric rapper, Burton Crane. Wordspit's performance was a pretty fierce rap/rock fusion. Crane's original tune "What You Gonna Do" was indeed as catchy as the judges claimed, and it's certainly been stuck in my head all evening, but trust me when I say that that's not a good thing.

What did you think about tonight's auditions?

 
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