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Maryjane Fahey

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The "Absolutely Fabulous" Woman Who Showed Me The Way

Posted: 01/09/12 06:54 PM ET

You can keep your Carrie and Samantha. I'm going drinking with Patsy and Edina. They're baaaaaack! Who wouldn't prefer these two hilarious, cocktail swizzlin', vacuous broads! No mention or need for men or chidren- they got each other, shopping and booze. BINGO!

Eight years later the gang's all back, funnier then ever with our drunken girls in the lead -- older -- but in no way wiser. Edina's poor daughter, Saffie, is newly out of the slammer after two years and is panting to know what's going on in the outside world. Eddy & Pats, forever in a bubble, offer up Donatella, Farragamo pumps and hilarious Kardashian riffs. Nothing's happened in the last two years that a little "extreme shopping" (what Patsy calls the latest London riots) won't fix.

Aaaaah, extreme shoppers. And absolutely fabulous women who don't give a shit about mortgages, current events or their financially secure futures. When Edina declares "my accessories are my assets, my shoes are my hedge fund" I thought of my first and very own Absolutely Fabulous Aunt Dolores. My first glimpse at the other side of womanhood.

Ours was a practical Irish household growing up in the sixties. My mother had six kids (sexy catholics) and the only broads I ever met who didn't have children were nuns. Decidely NOT fabulous. But my Aunt Dolores sure was.

We lived in the Jersey burbs and she'd sashay into our household about once a month, mink trailing behind her, dressed to the nines, attitude galore -- a widow, a woman who actually "worked" in the world. My poor mother would cater to her. Everyone did as she'd hold court, cigarette burning, giving my mum advice on her figure, her hair, and her wardrobe. She kept away from kid advice. Had no clue.

Aunt Dolores invested in baubles -- not real estate -- and reigned as Queen of her Flatbush block. She rented a teeny apartment on Ocean Avenue, packed with super sized closets, dainty french provincial furniture, and three kids she did not dote on. They doted on HER. She loved a good cocktail, and didn't seem to miss a man -- the exact opposite of the daddy catering household I was in.

Her shopping sprees were legendary on "the Avenue" and her penchant for diamonds rivaled Liz. She never invested a dime, but lived for the moment and didn't give a fig what you thought of her. She was a lot of girl, and didn't apologize. And, just like Edina, she lived in her very particular bubble. I remember serving her espresso in exoctic to me dainty cups in the early afternoon hours when I was about eight in her tiny flatbush french bordello bedroom. She, clad in a pastel pink boa negligee, and me ga ga.

When Patsy opens her purse and all that she has in the world tumbles onto the table, I loved how unapologetic she was. Hey: this is IT! Now, let's party! That was my Aunt.

She contributed to what I wanted to be: fierce, free and lovin my cocktails! Bring on more Eddina & Patsy!

Maryjane Fahey is the co-author of DUMPED, a breakup bible for women to get off their asses and over their exes in record time. Fall 2012. Find, tweet, facebook, whatever them.. they're very friendly...

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