I'm writing this blog on Day 31.
31 days ago I vowed to do a 30 day "Love Cleanse" and go cold turkey from all forms of romantic and emotional love -- no sex of any kind, no dating, no contact with any persons who I have unbalanced relationships with, wherever possible, and no flirting.
The inspiration for the cleanse came after I asked a friend of mine whom I respect greatly, "why do I always go for the ones who don't want me?" Little did I know that asking this question to this person at this time would have such a profound impact on the rest of my life. My friend told me I was giving my power away and that every time I was choosing to get involved with people who I did not have a mutual authentic connection with that I was leading myself away from my own Authentic Self.
Now, I'm pretty well-read and educated on personal transformation, so when someone says something like that to me I take it as a direct challenge to grow. And that is exactly what I decided to do. I started educating myself on the concept of "Love Addiction." Could it be possible that the guy who created The Daily "Love" was addicted to it?
Merriam Webster's defines addiction as: "A compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance."
One of MW's definitions of love is: "The object of attachment, devotion or admiration."
So for this blog I am going to define "love addiction" as the following: "A compulsive need for and use of an object of attachment, devotion or admiration".
The first day of my quest I was wondering if I was indeed addicted to love. I turned on my radio and the Ke$ha song "Your Love is My Drug" was on the radio. Her words mirrored how I felt and also keenly described the feelings of addiction as it relates to another person. Ke$ha says:
"I don't care what people say
The rush is worth the price I pay
I get so high when you're with me
But crash and crave you when you are away."
Sounds like an addiction to me. Then I heard Eminem's number one song with Rihanna, "Love The Way You Lie," and it had similar themes. Marshall says:
"Cause when it's going good
It's going great
With the wind in his back
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
I feel so ashamed
And of course the chorus sung by Rihanna,
"Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts"
And on top of that the Twilight saga, a tale of teen love-addicted triangle, was dominating the box office.
I started seeing life through the lens of love addiction and I wanted to quit -- cold turkey.
So I started my love cleanse. And boy was I in for a very exciting, painful and AMAZING journey.
In my next blog I'll share with you what I learned over the next 30 days that changed my life forever.