I'm writing this blog on Day 31.
31 days ago I vowed to do a 30 day "Love Cleanse" and go cold turkey from all forms of romantic and emotional love -- no sex of any kind, no dating, no contact with any persons who I have unbalanced relationships with, wherever possible, and no flirting.
The inspiration for the cleanse came after I asked a friend of mine whom I respect greatly, "why do I always go for the ones who don't want me?" Little did I know that asking this question to this person at this time would have such a profound impact on the rest of my life. My friend told me I was giving my power away and that every time I was choosing to get involved with people who I did not have a mutual authentic connection with that I was leading myself away from my own Authentic Self.
Now, I'm pretty well-read and educated on personal transformation, so when someone says something like that to me I take it as a direct challenge to grow. And that is exactly what I decided to do. I started educating myself on the concept of "Love Addiction." Could it be possible that the guy who created The Daily "Love" was addicted to it?
Merriam Webster's defines addiction as: "A compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance."
One of MW's definitions of love is: "The object of attachment, devotion or admiration."
So for this blog I am going to define "love addiction" as the following: "A compulsive need for and use of an object of attachment, devotion or admiration".
The first day of my quest I was wondering if I was indeed addicted to love. I turned on my radio and the Ke$ha song "Your Love is My Drug" was on the radio. Her words mirrored how I felt and also keenly described the feelings of addiction as it relates to another person. Ke$ha says:
"I don't care what people say
The rush is worth the price I pay
I get so high when you're with me
But crash and crave you when you are away."
Sounds like an addiction to me. Then I heard Eminem's number one song with Rihanna, "Love The Way You Lie," and it had similar themes. Marshall says:
"Cause when it's going good
It's going great
I'm Superman
With the wind in his back
She's Lois Lane
But when it's bad
It's awful
I feel so ashamed
I snap"
And of course the chorus sung by Rihanna,
"Just gonna stand there
And watch me burn
But that's alright
Because I like
The way it hurts"
And on top of that the Twilight saga, a tale of teen love-addicted triangle, was dominating the box office.
I started seeing life through the lens of love addiction and I wanted to quit -- cold turkey.
So I started my love cleanse. And boy was I in for a very exciting, painful and AMAZING journey.
In my next blog I'll share with you what I learned over the next 30 days that changed my life forever.
Follow Mastin Kipp on Twitter: www.twitter.com/TheDailyLove
To imagine love an addiction is a mistake. It is equivalent to imagining oneself addicted to air or water. Try thirty days without air. Try thirty days without water. Then, get back to me. Love is the kind of thing you can not live without. No choice. So, insofar as “Twilight” love requires choice, it is false or unreal, and all of the millions of young vampire lovers are deluded. There is no choice in love, ever.
I know that. I also know that Ms. Sebert and Ms. Cosgrove, if they were to think about it, would realize that I am not mistaken. However, I imagine they might think such a position impossible, or incapable of a just and fair and beautiful resolution. They would be wrong. If they imagine I am going to just give it to them, well, that’s not happening. Tough luck.
Miranda, since you are in Nashville, see if they still need help, if you desire. Between you and Ke$ha and Garrison Keillor, and all of your friends, a miracle of love could occur. Really nice lynx. Here kitty, kitty. Just sayin’.
Joy to you, Rose.