John Thain's $35,000 Toilet

When the Cold War ended, filmdom lost its greatest villain - the Russian spies and the Russian generals. Gone were the villains of Bond movies past, or even the foes in comedies such as "Spies Like Us." Many asked where we would find our new movie villains, and in the last few years, we have often found them as terrorists. But terrorists are rarely portrayed in 3-D; usually the movies involving terrorists are more about the people trying to catch them. So, movie villainy needed a new face - and it's found one, in John Thain.

John Thain, rumored as a possible Secretary of the Treasury under John McCain, may be the most arrogant fool on Wall Street, which is saying something, because the competition is fierce. If this were a reality show, Thain would be battling Bernie Madoff, Citigroup and the Big Three executives for the coveted Most Tone-Deaf American title. And at least the Big Three execs seem to have learned a lesson, so they'd get the Bronze in this category.

John Thain impossibly gave huge bonuses to Merrill Lynch executives with your money. That's right - you paid for Merrill's executives to get millions despite the fact that the company was a failure. God, I wish my failures resulted in multi-million dollar bonuses. I'd be able to buy California by now (and California could use the funds). But this isn't the worst of Thain's narcissism.

Thain also remodeled his office for about $1.2 million while his company was failing. Can you imagine the nerve this guy has, to spend all that money on his office - even if the company was a raging success? Thain spent $35,000 on a toilet. I sincerely hope that for that amount of money, Thain's crap turned to gold.

What the hell happens on a $35,000 toilet that makes it so special? While you're sitting on it, does it magically transport you to the Maldives?

I'm looking around my office right now. I've got a good view of L.A., a Jasper Johns lithograph ($240 for the frame), a picture of the Brooklyn Bridge that I took with a disposable camera ($220 for frame), some family photos in five separate frames ($87 total), and a desk, chair and lamp provided for me (probably cost about $250 total). And this is considered a nice office! I wonder what I'd do with a million dollars for decorating. Perhaps I'd buy 5,000 big screen televisions, turn them to the Thain interview on CNBC, shoot holes in the TV's, and then buy 5,000 more big screen TVs. And then toss them out my window and buy 5,000 more. How does that sound?

The question I have about Thain is, where is the shame? Instead of defending himself giving interviews to CNBC, Thain should be apoplectically apologizing. Not one of those, "If I've offended you, I'm sorry," fake apologies, but a real, "I suck and you should throw stones at me," apology. Then he should put on his Speedo and see if he can swim down to the Mariana Trench.

My guess is that movie-making will feature Wall Street villains as the New Bad Guys. No Gordon Gekko's, who are just greedy for greed's sake; I'm talking about Wall Street guys trying to take down the American economy, Wall Street guys working with terrorists. Because the truth is that now, across America, if you say you work on Wall Street, you're going to be thought of us a super villain.

There are no Robin Hood stories on Wall Street now; Madoff didn't steal from the rich to give to the poor. Thain didn't, either. They steal from the middle class to give to their toilets.

Comments

[KingPen5]

A magic toilet that turns crap into gold? Nope. They only have those in the television industry.

[spiritpony1]

the good news is Cuomo has him on the carpet (the $87,000 one, heh heh); let's hope he gets to "burn thru" his bonus w/ legal fees (along w/ reimbursing me my tax money)---son of a ...............

[ryan643]

These items were purchased over a year ago and the renovation was done before the bailouts.

Post bailouts: welcome to socialism, where the govt can control the salaries and expenditures of citizens in the private sector.

sidenote: didnt the renovation stimulate the economy?? YEP.

[SUIGENEROUSLA]

"Commode" also means a chest or sideboard. It is a table with drawers which I'm sure is French and is antique and while probably not worth 35K exactly does have value. It can be resold at Christies or Sotheby's. I'm sure that's what is being talked about -- but it doesn't excuse Thain one bit.

[SUIGENEROUSLA]

This must be embarassing but.......­..........­..

"Commode" also means a chest or sideboard. It is a table with drawers which I'm sure is French and is antique and while probably not worth 35K exactly does have value. It can be resold at Christies or Sotheby's. I'm sure that's what is being talked about -- but it doesn't excuse Thain one bit.

[chevyval]

What I cannot stomach is the lack of taste. I wouldn't have an office with that furniture or drapes for all the money in the world. It's just completely sterile and uninteresting. He has no imagination.

[magibrotherhood]

Russel Simmons has a solid gold toilet seat at his cribb--whats up with these boys?

[spikemom]

A commode is not a toilet !!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!!!!!­!!!!!!! It's a pieceof furniture, a side table, usually against a wall. If you're going to be mad (and there's plenty here to be mad about) at least don;t be stupid.

[farmgirl10]

Thank you!

[curledup]

My guess is that movie-making will feature Wall Street villains as the New Bad Guys. No Gordon Gekko's, who are just greedy for greed's sake; I'm talking about Wall Street guys trying to take down the American economy, Wall Street guys working with terrorists. Because the truth is that now, across America, if you say you work on Wall Street, you're going to be thought of us a super villain.


How about Clive Owen and Naomi Watts' new thriller THE INTERNATIONAL?
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0963178/

[BlueZoo]

The scuttlebutt on this film, "The International," is that it is based on CITIBANK. I've only seen the promos in the theater but it looks like a "must see" film!

[Cay]

Marc Maron on http://airamerica.com/breakroomlive had the best take on what a $35,000 toilet should do for you that I can't repeat here.

[lizt]

Please tell me that you are not this uneducated. This is not a toliet but another term used for a piece of furniture that is similar to a sideboard. HIs redecorating is shocking enough without the media endlessly calling this piece of furniture a toliet.

[magibrotherhood]

Ah-- its a toilet disguised as a piece of furniture---and yes, they do make such things.

[Samalabear]

You know, there was rumor before everything imploded real bad that Michael Douglas was going to finally do a sequel to "Wall Street." That talk has disappeared. I don't know if Douglas is Repub and that's why there's no longer any interest. Actually, I think a sequel could be pretty interesting -- watching GG go down could rake in some bucks. Interesting pair of bookends, IMHO.

[magibrotherhood]

Didn`t Gekko`s wonder-boy get perp-walked at the end?----like to see a real-time version of that----multiplied exponentialy.

[Marlyn]

It is NOT a toilet.

[magibrotherhood]

Quoting Thain; 'It is NOT a toilet---I am NOT a crook'.

[loril]

Thain's (probably waxed and chemical peeled) posterior on a $35K toilet is an apt and colorful metaphor for the way the financial and political elite feel about the rest of us. Yet, according to Rush, I (along with my Home Depot toilet) am the elitist and not a "real American" because I don't support these guys.

[LesHamilton]

Thain and the rest of the Wall Street (pick an appropriate descriptor) took their cue from the lowly weatherman. There is a job where you can be wrong about the weather every day of your career and still get paid. Why not the same for a Wall Street investment banker, just scale up the pay package, that’s all.

[dtrobert]

A commode is NOT a toilet; it's a kind of chest of drawers. But because the word "commode", because it means "convenient" in French, has been understood to mean a toilet, it's caused no end of confusion in this case as well as in others (Stevens, if I remember correctly).

In French, where the word originates, the word "commode" only refers to the piece of furniture. It's kind of like "Entrée", which means an appetizer, but which English-speakers wanting to sound high-class (but who only end up sounding "klassy with a k") have mis-understood to mean a main course.

[trixtah]

Speak for just the US when it comes to using entrée to refer to the main meal rather than the starter. UK and Commonwealth English speakers use the term to refer to the appetiser, as you would expect.

As for "commode", the way it's generally used in US English is as a polite term for the toilet. And it's been used that way for a long time (I don't have a Webster to look it up). It's no longer a French word when used that way, even if it came from French originally. So what, language changes. The French don't say "double entendre" either any more. It's purely an English term.

[SJHS]

A chest of drawers is called a commode when you use an $800,000 decorator.

[edgarallenpoe]

Toilet or chest of drawers, the guy is still a crook.

[GrahamInCanada]

Commode, I agree, means convenient or handy in French. Commode meuble, literally convenient furniture, is a chest of drawers. In English, a night commode is a chest, not of drawers, to hold the night pot in the bedroom. Commode in the sense of toilet is US slang harking back to the night commode.

In France, the entrée is neither the appetizer nor the main course, but in a large meal is the first substantial dish after a series of small courses, before the main dish(es). In the UK, the entrée is the appetizer, and in the US it is the main dish, in three dish dinners or suppers.