GEORGE: This year, before we begin our dinner, I thought it would be a nice idea if we each took a moment to say what we're thankful for. Think about it, the word "thanks" is part of Thanksgiving. Anyway, let's go around the table.
LAURA: I'm thankful for my wonderful husband and our two daughters, our good friends, my loyal staff and our dogs, Barney and Mrs. Beasley. And my in-laws. Excuse me, I'll be right back.
GEORGE H.W. BUSH: I'm thankful for the belated recognition, by some at least, that a little pre-war advice I was trying to pass along turned out to be pretty damned spot-on prescient after all is said and done. 'Nuff said.
BARBARA BUSH: I'm thankful that the stress of being an unpopular lame duck president hasn't caused my eldest son to fall off the wagon, or has it? And I'm thankful for a certain daughter-in-law for promising me she was finally going to quit smoking, once and for all, especially during dinner.
JENNA AND BARBARA: We're thankful for an all-voluntary army, made up of kids too poor to have other priorities, like Uncle Dick.
DICK (on video screen): Lynne and I are thankful for the concept of executive privilege, and the fact that it covers vice presidents, and their families, and how it can be cited when ignoring the shitload of subpoenas we can all expect.
LYNNE (on video screen): And we're thankful for the installation of a more robust exhaust system in our secure undisclosed location so that we can have real turkey down here this year.
CONDI: I'm thankful for Rummy taking most of the heat when I could easily be eating stove top stuffing in the Stanford faculty cafeteria with visiting professors from countries that don't celebrate Thanksgiving, a fact I was just trying to explain to the President.
KARL: I'm thankful for having two more years of access to the most sensitive files in Washington, to be used in future smear campaigns. And I'm thankful for not being thrown under the bus yet.
LAURA: I'm back. (Coughs.) George, it's your turn.
GEORGE: I'm thankful for living in a country where you can invade another country under false pretenses and get away with it. Let's eat!