Palin-Bachmann Syndromeâ„¢

The strange nexus of right-wing Christian identity politics and beauty pageants has produced Sarah Palin, Michele Bachmann, and Carrie Prejean. What is it about their world that turns toxic and causes flaky behavior?

For those who missed it, here is Miss California's meltdown on Larry King Live the other night:

When the biggest story about you is that your lawsuit against a pageant over "religious discrimination" was settled 24 hours after the pageant obtained your sex tape, you can't expect Larry King and Celebrity News Network to avoid the question unless you make it a condition in advance. In which case, you probably won't get the interview and your fifteen minutes are officially over. Prejean shouldn't have gone on a call-in talk show if she wasn't interested in taking, you know, questions.

Prejean had positioned herself to take advantage of right-wing outrage over the way she lost the pageant crown. Her stumbling response to Perez Hilton's question about gay marriage has become exhibit A for culture warriors, who argue that creeping political correctness violates their "right" to despise Teh Gay. Sex tapes are the last thing Prejean wants to talk about. Yet somehow, Miss California had not armed herself with a cover story for her target demographic. Taking off your microphone and walking away is a childish act of childish avoidance, but unwillingness to spin is the only sin left in mass-media.

In modern Christian communities, beauty pageants are an acceptable hobby for young women. Southern belles have more than their share of victories in Miss USA, and every last one of them describes her Christianity at some time in the process. Miss USA itself is a politically conservative organization (which made Hilton's question all the more strange).

By making an underage sex tape, Carrie Prejean had already broken the rules when she gave her answer. Prejean refused an obvious question because the answer was self-evident, and demolishes her credibility in a way that damages her chosen career of media martyr.

The Miss USA pageant set these rules long ago to make the competition acceptable in conservative places; now they produce conservative movement leaders. Sarah Palin is also a former beauty queen, and like Prejean she is also a creature of charismatic Christian identity politics. Her recent behavior, too, has been exceedingly flaky. There was her lengthy, rambling word-salad of a speech, described best by Shannyn Moore:

With such a large national audience, Palin didn't talk about the plethora of issues facing Alaska. Why would she? She has much bigger fish to fry. She decided to slam Ashley Judd instead. Yes, really.

I don't know Ashley Judd, but I like her. I know this must shock the Palinistas; they think I dislike Sarah because she's pretty. According to Palin, she is some sort of Hollywood pixie; a "delicate, tiny, very talented celebrity starlet." I don't judge Ms. Judd on her stunning appearance; but on the criteria of her politics...just like Palin.

Nothing Palin says is apolitical. Her entire world-view consists of what she has learned from the conservative movement itself. As a result of that faith-based education, Sarah doesn't know enough facts to stand up to rational examination. She was weighed, judged, and found wanting -- against Joe Biden, of all people! -- and her poll numbers have plummeted ever since.

In an effort to control her message, Palin's publicity staff has done two things: (A) restrict everything but her book tour to Facebook, and (2) agreed to public speaking events only to deny they'd ever confirmed them and leave event planners in the lurch at the last minute.

Nor were these speeches scheduled for unsympathetic audiences: she was asked to speak at the Ronald Reagan library, even an Alaskan anti-abortion rally. She doesn't hesitate to demand cash, even in Iowa. The 2012 Palin campaign has started by asking for the love-offering up front and insists the event sign a rider. You can see that in the event publicity materials.

The message control is amazingly strict. Press and cameras have been banned from all the appearances she has made, but also cell phones and personal recording devices -- little wonder, as all the speeches she has done have been panned by notetakers. Her 90-minute Hong Kong speech was described by Paul Krugman as "half a Castro" in length.

As if in imitation, Carrie Prejean has gotten in the habit of canceling appearances, too (though not Larry King, for some reason). Another famous conservative woman with a similar background is Michele Bachmann (R-Oppositesland), who placed in the top 10 in the Miss Anoka Pageant and was crowned Miss Congeniality. Today, she has her own action figure and stars in a "conservative women" calendar along with Prejean.

While Bachmann rarely flakes on apearances, she often flakes in person. There's a moment in this video when Michele Bachmann gets too crazy even for Glenn Beck. By happenstance, you don't even have to play the video to see it:

 

If you do play the video, you'll hear her ask of the US Census:

Do they really need to know our phone numbers? Do they really need to know, like you said, the date and time that we leave...mental stability?

Followed by a prolonged blink.

That's Teh Crazy™.

You know the one question that is not on this survey, Glenn? "Are you a U.S. citizen?"

This is Teh Stupid™, because she also argues that this information can be used to round up Republicans and ship them off to the Glenn Beck doom bunker death panels.

"This would be your perfect opportunity to find out how many illegal aliens are in the United States."

This is Teh Wacky™, wherein reflexive stupidity and and insane scenarios collide at the limits of mental reach. The chances of American government awarding Republicans an all-expenses paid vacation at FEMA death camps are remote. A non-citizen's fear of deportation is far more likely, and rational, by comparison -- and the whole point of the US Census is to count people, not citizens -- it's in their 200-year old charter.

After delivering this nonsense, Bachmann makes another prolonged blink. That blink is a recurring pattern with her special flavor of Teh Wacky™. In poker parlance, it's her tell. Watch as she describes Teh Evil Plan™ to turn school clinics into abortion factories through health care reform:

Blink much?

I wasn't sure what to make of it; I'm no psychologist. So I talked to a friend of mine with a degree in psychology and a fascination for neurolinguistic studies.

But wait, I hear you cry. What is that...neuro lingua thingy again? That's fine; I should explain that neurolinguistics has gotten a bad rep from con men and entertainers, the former group using it for ill and the latter passing it off as "mind-control." Neurolinguistics is the study of verbal and non-verbal cues. In plain English, my friend PistolPro can "read" people in a way similar to Tim Roth's character on Lie To Me.

The problem, he says, is that we'd need a sample of Michele Bachmann telling the truth to serve as a baseline -- and try as I might, I cannot find a video of Bachmann that doesn't have Teh Wacky™ in it. So rather than pursue a more exact diagnosis, I have decided to coin a phrase: Palin-Bachmann Syndrome™, defined as the psychological imbalance produced by a toxic mix of right-wing identity politics and diva training.

Palin-Bachmann Syndrome™ manifests in the following behaviors: rambling, inane "word-salads" while speaking in public; paranoid access-control; espousal of fringe insanity; appeal to prejudices. See also: borderline and narcissistic personality disorders. In rare cases, Palin-Bachmann Syndrome™ can produce strongly offensive behavior:

 

Won't someone please help these poor women?

 

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Comments

[offred]

"Another famous conservative woman with a similar background is Michele Bachmann (R-Oppositesland), who placed in the top 10 in the Miss Anoka Pageant ..."

Ah, yes, Anoka, the Halloween Capital of the World.

http://anokahalloween.com/

[Matt Osborne - Huffpost Blogger]

GOOD FIND!

[Lulubelle1]

I had already posted a comment in response to another Palin story here that I strongly believe she has narcissistic or borderline personality disorder. I'm heartened to see that there are so many other who believe so as well, based on her public incoherence and self-serving worldview.

Deconstructions such as yours of the Palin/Bach­man/Prejea­n cluster**** are a comfort to me, and help alleviate the "What kind of world am I living in" surreality I experience every time I see these women being not just paid attention, but given credence and praise.

There ARE sane people in the world.

Thanks for reaffirming it.

[Matt Osborne - Huffpost Blogger]

Want to know something else? Michele Bachmann and her husband own a mental health business, according to her House webpage.

[abqteacher]

Bachmann's constant blinking as she speaks reminds me of Jerry Falwell...he was a blinker. Excessive blinking is either the result of a cat's hair or insecurity. The Fundamentalists have always been on the defensive; I say that if no one was questioning their behaviors and ideas, the Fundamentalists wouldn't hang around long...they live by a martyr's code. Palin, Bachmann, Prejean...women who are used by right-wing Fundamentalists and by neo-conservative politicians and commentators...are women who lack intelligence and identity. They are adept manipulators and need approval outside themselves.

[Matt Osborne - Huffpost Blogger]

Insecurity because he knows that he doesn't know what he's talking about.

[Laws456]

The truth of the matter is that the Christian Right dislikes women. How many notable women ministers, pastors or priests can they name? Women like Palin and Bachmann are only tolerated because they are telegenic and most of their male supporters only dream about being intimate with them. For all these people who think that Sarah Palin will make a great President, just wait until the Republican primiaries. If Palin decides to run, people like Romney will utterly embarrass her on the campaign trail. She left the governorship in order to get rich. There's nothing wrong with pursuing the almighty dollar, just don't try to enter the national political scene when you couldn't handle being governor of Alaska. All of us on the left know she's a fraud, but many Palin supporters will have their dreams crushed when fellow Republicans pull the wool from over their eyes.

[Matt Osborne - Huffpost Blogger]

I call it Teh Train Wreckâ„¢.

[goodpyr]

There are some men that like a woman with a mind and the ability to express themselves.
my wife is such a woman and attractive to boot.We will have been married 45 years in December.
She's the best part of me.

[blizb]

Congrats! I wish there were more such intelligent women who could properly communicate.

I hope the year of crazy women like Palin, Bachmann, Malkin, Coulter, Taitz, etc. finally comes to an end. I can't take anymore irrational talk.

I feel stunned whenever Sarah talks on the air, you can tell from the pitch of her voice she is stressed on certain issues which indicates fear, or lack of truthfulness.

[rh654]

LOL - when Glenn Beck starts rolling his eyes the statement being made is truly crazy talk!

[DrLogic]

Way to go ahead and besmirch PBS's good name... :D

[laocoon]

while i really agree with your overall points i understand Prejean's unwillingness to say why she settled because you settle for what you are receiving in settlement. it is hard to answer Kings question without going into or very near what the terms of the settlement are. she might have blown it if she answered the question he asked. " larry i settled because they are paying me $ x. " he should have asked it better and in a more leading way. " did the news about the sex tapes have something to do with the fact that you settled right after?'" then if she wont answer it makes the point in a clearer manner. had her attorney been there he would have correctly told her to not answer the question the way King was asking it. you always settle for the consideration you will receive.

[lafayette2009]

He asked her why she settled.

All she had to say was that after she was presented with all the options, she and her attorney decided to settle and, as the terms are confidential, that is all she can say about the matter.

But that requires thought and an ability to express oneself, qualities she obviously lacks.

[DinkSinger]

Anyone who has ever been involved in the settlement of a law suit knows that it is a normal condition of the settlement that the parties may not discuss it. As Ms. Prejean has repeatedly demonstrated her communication skills are extremely limited. None the less in her very clumsy way she made it clear enough that she could not and would not discuss the negotiations that took place with the pageant. Mr. King continued repetition of the question was wrong and more than justified her threat to walk off the show.

[rj610]

but what does her motive for making a deal have to do with the deal itself? Could it be she has no clue what motive means?

[DinkSinger]

Motivation is part of the negotiation process and is almost undoubtedly covered by the settlement. Here is standard language that is part of many settlement agreements:

"The parties further agree that the terms of this Agreement, and the negotiations leading up to it shall not be disclosed by the parties to any person, other than in a proceeding to enforce the terms of this Agreement or pursuant to valid subpoena or court order, with the exception of the parties' lawyers, accountants, tax preparers and, with respect to _______ , his/her immediate family, provided that the parties inform any such persons that they must not disclose the same to any person and they agree to that condition. In response to any inquiry from third parties, the parties and their attorneys may state only that the parties have resolved the matter."

The story that has been leaked to the media by unidentified sources is that the pageant during the negotiations showed a copy of the video and imply that this was the motivation for Ms. Prejean agreeing to the settlement. If she was to say "I was motivated by the pageants threats to release a video" she would be disclosing "the negotiations leading up to" the settlement which would mostly likely breach the agreement and endanger the money (reportedly $100,000) the pageant has agreed to pay her.

[DrLogic]

He wasn't asking her to discuss the details of the agreement or the negotiations. He asked her why she decided to settle on a position that is supposedly very important to her. He wanted to know her motivation for essentially caving on something she believes she was in the right about, cares deeply about, and sought to pursue.

[DinkSinger]

Why she reportedly decided to settle was part of the negotiations. The media has reported that she settled because as TMZ put it "during the settlement negotiations with Miss California USA lawyers -- ... they showed her the X-Rated version of Home Alone ... starring Carrie herself."

[rockymthi]

Republican hypocrisy has jumped the gender gap.

[dgh94104]

Don't forget A nn C oulter - P alin's biggest fan. She was on "The Early Show" this morning sticking up for her girl. P A T H E T I C.

[DennyCrane]

You'd think the Republican party would be embarrassed by these three. Then again, look who they elected for their party chairman. Obviously, they're not worried about how bad they look.

[24hourrifle]

matt...i cant disagree with anything youve said.

i just feel the need to speak up.

i feel as if my faith has been hijacked by ultrahypocritical bachman types.modern christianity in america is identified in all instances with the far right talk radio fox news crowd,and frankly,its infuriating.

i understand that we are a minority,but i think its necessary to point out that there is a growing number of christians in this country who actually base their faith on the teachings of jesus.

personally i believe that true christian faith and a progressive agenda are one and the same.

again,its predicatble that these people have become the face of christianity,since they are the one most likely to hoot and holler about it while condemning all those who deviate from their incredibly narrow version of jesus' teachings.

i just want to let people know that there are many thoughtful­,progressi­ve christians who dont judge others and who dont push an agenda of hate,bigotry,and overall hoopleheadedness in the name of christianity.

[salvesons]

Nice comment. Yes, its too bad that the Republicans have shamefully decided that fascist style propaganda, lies, and confused indentity politics are the path to power in America, nevermind policy, civil debate, and facts. Shameful, yes, that you got caught in their power at all costs combine. Why not do something good for the country and join the sane party in American politics, the Democrats. We're not perfect, but we're 10x less toxic than Republican southern strategies. We are Christian in the best sense... trying to reduce poverty, war, and bring peace and prosperity to the country in a way that does not employ fascist proaganda and straw figures trying to appeal to the lowest common denominator. give us a look in 2010 and 2012!

[rj610]

i agree with you 100% and since listening to these far out people i've been questioning whether i really want to be considered a Christian. If it's all about what they're all about then i'm pretty sure i don't want to be one.

[24hourrifle]

rj610...whoa...i never said i was a republican.i said im a progressive.ive never voted republican in my life.
my point was that the christian faith and the republican party/conservative movement are not one and the same.

[DinkSinger]

From another progressive Christian, thank you for this comment. It is a major problem that the media almost never reports Christian efforts on the progressive side of the political spectrum. For example, when the Catholic bishops got tough in recent weeks and pushed hard for the adoption of the Stupak amendment they also demanded that the House "oppose measures that would leave immigrants, especially legal immigrants, worse off as a result of health reform;" and "support access for immigrants to the health-insurance exchange, regardless of legal status, and support removal of the five-year ban on legal immigrants accessing Medicaid and other federal health-care programs;" All Christians should share this second goal. The bible says: "You shall treat the alien who resides with you no differently than the natives born among you; have the same love for him as for yourself" (Lev. 19:34) I searched the New York Times and Washington Post and found no mention of this second demand by the bishops even in articles that mentioned the bishops abortion demand and also noted divisions in the House on the second issue.

[jymfrancais]

It is absolutly stunning , i mean, thats it?
thats whom the Republican party of the United States of America
have chosen to represent them?
Sad and insulting.

[maryyooch]

Great post, Matt.

"What is it about their world that turns toxic and causes flaky behavior?"

You have answered your own question; "borderline and narcissistic personality disorders."