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Matt Titus

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How To Be Faithful

Posted: 12/03/07 08:02 AM ET

She walks into the coffeeshop and our eyes immediately meet. I almost fall off my chair because this woman is gorgeous. And to make matters worse the universe is definitely trying to screw with me because judging by the look and smile she just gave me, she's interested.

Did I mention that I'm a happily married man yet? This of course might complicate things... actually it makes this potential minefield quite simple to navigate.

I love my wife, and I will not cheat. Been there, done that. In my past life I made a series of mistakes that left me a divorced man with a wounded and empty soul, that man would have slept with the woman above, most likely five minutes after spotting her walk in to the coffee bar.

So how am I going to escape this cosmic curse of temptation? By following the rules below, they'll never send you in the wrong direction, I promise.

* It's not about just ME (or just YOU) anymore, I'm part of something meaningful and special. If I took her back to her loft and slept with her I would be letting down two people, myself and my wife. And I would be common and average because as my mother always told me, the harder thing to do is always the better thing to do.

* Think of what your life would be like without your current husband or wife. Your present actions are going to dictate your future. Are you truly able to accept the repercussions??? Believe me, you aren't. A long time ago I thought I was, of course I wasn't and pretty much lost everything. I'm hoping you won't.

Let's quickly return to the original relationship danger zone... after she smiles, she comes within in ear shot of my table, I hear her order a double cappuccino in the sexiest, raspy European accent that I have ever heard. She then proceeds to delicately glance at me while she takes her drink from the barista and turns to ask if she can join me... MY LIFE IS NOW OVER!

* Being faithful is easy, cheating is hard. Thought it was the other way around, didn't you? The moment she requested to join me I felt something that in the past I had never felt before: HESITATION! You see cheating is like bungee-jumping without a safety cord, the rush is amazing, until you slam into the bridge and smash that thick skull of yours wide open! The work it takes to be unfaithful is ten times, no, a THOUSAND times harder than the simple task of being a committed partner.

She introduces herself and I feel "my game" completely gone. Because all I can think of are the repercussions of sleeping with this woman. I realize that I am doing something that I had never done in the past: Forward Thinking.

* Remember you took a vow. Whether it's a wedding band, or a long time romance built on caring and trust, a bond is a bond. And while a hot body and a pretty face are nice to gaze at, it's fleeting; your partner's actions, affection and non-judgmental support are far more worthy in the log run.

* Fantasy is a good thing, as long as it doesn't become reality. Now, don't think I'm not able to appreciate the fact that this woman is beautiful, it's not a crime to admire an attractive person, but it is against all laws know to man to act on your desires if you are in a happy and committed relationship.

As I looked into her eyes and told her I was married and thanked her for her company. I also realized I felt no guilt having spent a quick moment with an attractive stranger, no wish to ravish her on top of the table, all I felt was happiness because of my commitment to my wife. For the first time in my life I realized what the real challenge was about being in this situation. The real challenge was NOT SLEEPING with this beautiful woman. And because I like to think of myself as something of an adrenaline junkie, man, do I love challenges. But this one wasn't a "challenge" at all. It became easier and easier when I let the repercussions of sleeping with her dictate my actions.

And, truthfully, my vanilla latte was much more satisfying.

 
 
 

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