The Kentucky Derby: The Most Surreal and Seedy Spectacle in All of Sports
The 135th running of the Kentucky Derby takes place today, which mean that for more than a century Americans have been annually treated to one of the most bizarre and deranged sporting events ever devised. The Derby is a full-on freak show, encased in a bubble of ersatz southern elegance.
Think about it: Every year, an obscure venue called Churchill Downs plays host to a throng of overdressed middle-aged white people who drink sugared whiskey, don ridiculous hats, and wait hours to sing a maudlin song before watching undersized ethnic men in brightly colored tunics mount large, powerful animals and race them at breakneck speed around a dirt track while whipping the beasts.
It should surprise no one that this bizarre scene inspired the first collaboration between gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson and artist Ralph Steadman, who companioned Thompson's addled prose with grotesque sketches of the race's denizens.
"The Kentucky Derby Is Decadent and Depraved" appeared in 1970 and pretty well nailed the flavor of the event. Now don't get me wrong--the horsey aspect of the Derby is pretty cool. The 3-year old thoroughbreds that participate are magnificent and surly creatures. High-strung, raring to go, they will bite the ponies that accompany them as they are marched around the track prior to the race, and loading them into the starting gate is an arduous process that can lead to serious injury for the men who are asked to do it. Better than a dozen of these 19th-century speed machines, presumably un-doped, are then released to blast wide-eyed around the mile-and-quarter track, kicking up a rooster tail of dirt and dust as froth spews from their bitted jaws and their jockey's goggles become pasted with crud.
This year's Derby should be, race-wise, somewhat livelier as a competition, because the favorite, I Want Revenge, has dropped out. This won't necessarily open things up for the long-odds entrants, but it might set up a battle among the remaining three or four horses that have a legitimate shot.
Unfortunately, I Want Revenge's absence means a lessened prospect of a Triple Crown winner this year--although another horse could take it. This is yet another strange aspect of Derby Day: It kicks off a sequence of races, moving first to Pimlico in Baltimore for the Preakness Stakes, then concluding at the Belmont Stakes in New York. From the cradle of American horse culture, with its rolling green hills and tipsy women in pouffy sundresses, the Triple Crown moves swiftly toward it seedy denouement in the suburbs of Gotham, to the cigar-chomping, bent-fedora-and-body-odor betting-man's destiny that horse racing, for all its charm, can never shake off. By the end of the Triple Crown, you kind of want to take a shower.
But in the beginning, the gooey pageantry tends to overcome the OTB element. The flower of Louisville will hoist their frosty juleps and hope that their makeup doesn't run in the Bluegrass State sunshine. There will be blazers and seersucker and acres of roses. Wagers will be placed. The band will play. The trumpet will sound. The horses will thunder. We will have a winner, as we have since 1875. In times of crisis, we truly need this kind of uniquely American insanity. And so we should give thanks for the Kentucky Derby, in all its twisted glory.
UPDATE: A commenter pointed out rightly that just because the favorite horse is out, that doesn't mean no Triple Crown. I think it's less likely, but you never know. Anyway, I've corrected.
Kentucky Derby - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Kentucky Derby 129 | 2003 | Derby History |
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I have been unable to find a single "expert" who gave Mine That Bird a shot at winning the race.
With television and the money to be made, every single major sporting event could be thought of as a freak show…super bowl, final four, indy 500. If you enjoy the sport and can lighten up it can be fun.
Unless you are one of the horses!
maybe on television it looks all refined and elegant but my husband's step brother who has attended every year for the last 10 goes to the infield of the track...
You want to talk about sloppy/seedy. The infield is like a Nascar event only dressed up fancier. People go to the infield for one purpose and that is to get as drunk as possible. Unfortunately they don't end up seeing much of the race because it's too crowded but nobody cares because they are all as drunk as they possibly can be.
What I love about horseracing....maybe I'm a litlle ADD, but i love a sport that takes place in all of 2 minutes or less, No fighting, not much question about who wins, no replays explaing ad nauseum, where that puck or ball came from, people dress nice for it. And, its a crap shoot. I mean, what if the favorite just doesn't feel up to running that day? What if he just wants a good gossip as they gallop around the track with the number 3 horse, who also doesn't feel like working that day? What if she's coming down with a cold, and just feels, well, off, the day of the big race?What if the favorite gets blocked by other horses, and just can't get to the front? Anyone can win, with a little luck, and that means, all the stats, all the previous races that were won, don't mean a thing. Maybe Mine the Bird got lucky, maybe he's a Cinderella horse and will go on to bigger and better races, maybe nexg time out, he just won't feel like working, and will just show up...kind of like most of us on a Monday, he'll go through the motions and nothing more.
Or, he might come up against Rachel Alexandra, and wonder, like all those other fillies in the
Oaks, "what the hell was THAT!"
As a horse lover and owner of a Thoroughbred, an hour isn't long enough TV coverage. Hearing the stories of the horses, watching the clips of them preparing for the race, seeing them on the big day, the exciting parade to the post - it's all heaven for horse lovers. Give us a break, we barely get to see any televised events during the Olympics!
I love the pre-race coverage. I'm a horse person, too, and the race is one of the high points of my year.
I am not a horse lover or "horse person" but I love the Kentucky Derby. The beauty and dignity of the thoroughbreds brings me to tears.
So the Kentucky Derby is a freak show/ Uhh...Apparently DeBord has not heard of the Super Bowl. Talk about freaks...
You rarely see people at the Derby strip down and paint themselves with the stable's colors
One would also think that a car culture writer might have some passing familiarity with a uniquely American event called "destruction derby." I rather think that organized competitive road rage might be well in the running for surreal, seedy spectacle, myself.
It is a freak show. Whatever spins your wheels!
All traditional festivals, worldwide, that have gone on forever have a layer of absurdity. That's what makes them wonderful. I live in a city that has the second largest party in the US every year, and it's silly, and it's fun, and it's crazy, and it's peaceful. . God forbid we sterilize our culture of these traditional events. Is that what you're advocating? No more tradition?
Why was my post taking exception to the characterization of the Derby removed? There was nothing offensive it in!
I'm a proud Kentuckian and that pride extends to the Kentucky Derby and Churchill Downs. I contend the only people who have issues with the Derby simply don't take the time to just simply enjoy themselves, or don't understand the tradition of it.
It's hardly the Mardi Gras!
Don't knock Mardi Gras. It's a tradition that is older than the Derby and steeped in culture. And, it's the out-of-towners who display their nau ghty bits - not the locals.
I'm not knocking Mardi Gras. I was making a point regarding perception.
geez you must thinking boxing and that stuff Kimbo Slice does is a travesty against all mankind....
and fight clubs for children; legal in Missouri...talk about barbarity
"The Most Surreal and Seedy Spectacle in all of Sports"? Really? A horse race? I'd hate to see what you think about UFC...
I realy don't think these people are necessarily Republicans. Please don't politicise the race, it's fun and there were lots of non-repub celebrities there as usual. In fact I saw some few black men singing my old Kentucky Home, of all things. I think this race is now a melting pot and not just those denizens of Damon Runyon's prose. The horses are magnificent. Nope, no Triple Crown winner this year, a 50 to one horse won. Let's not talk about that.
Let's wait until The Preakness to pronounce the Triple Crown dead for 2009. With Borel aboard, you never know!
Yes, and not only that, I've studied the pedigree of Mine That Bird in detail. Sure, he had a few bad races last year. Don't we all sometimes have a few bad days in the last year? I have long studied Thoroughbred pedigrees and take the Blood Horse magazine. It is a fascination of mine, and I know the distance pedigrees from the sprint pedigrees, and Mine That Bird has a nice balance of both. While it is likely the jockeys will not allow Borel to get away with his rail rush in the Preakness, Mine That Bird has enough tactical speed to get around the outside if he has to. He has a dosage index higher than average for Derby winners, which means the horse has speed to burn. The shorter Preakness should be just right for him, and the Belmont Stakes too. After all, it was his sire, Birdstone who ruined Smarty Jone's Triple Crown effort. Also, by the way, Mine That Bird is very nimble. 2:02:66 is good even for a fast course, and the horse ran it in the slop. Not only do I hold out hope for this little horse, I feel like he has what it takes to be the next Triple Crown winner. During these times, it would be a fantastic uplift for the common "man," to have a horse of the people win it all.
Well, it would be a stretch, but let's not count it out just yet. I had the error of my prose pointed out earlier. Root for the underdog? Makes sense in the USA now.
The KD has to be the most overblown "sporting" event of the year. The TV broadcast goes on for 3 hours hyping a 2 minute race for which very few really have any interest. It also has to be the single biggest gathering of well-heeled Republicans outsie of the Crystal Cathedral.
I agree on the TV overkill, but unless you've attended one I don't think you should generalize about the politics. Having been to a number of the races, the vast majority of the crowd are average people just having a good time.
I can vouch for that.
Keep in mind that the vast majority of mare owners are people in the MIDDLE CLASS, many of whom are Democrats who voted for Obama. The guy who bred Monarchos, the winner of the 2001 Kentucky Derby is middle-class, and built on his broodmare band when he could raise enough money. Please don't generalize. A lot of middle-class people are pinhookers, which means they will buy a promising yearling, develop it, then sell high, often much higher. However, in these economic times, pinhookers have been successful to just break even.
I love the Kentucky Derby. I have watched it every year since I was in grade school, and I am 56 years old. When I was in the third grade, I picked Northern Dancer to win the Kentucky Derby that year. I was crazy about that horse. Somewhat later, when I picked up on which horses were going for the highest
prices at Keeneland and Fasig-Tipton, lo and behold, it was the Northern Dancer-breds. His very first offspring, Nijinsky 11 was a big winner in Europe. The Kentucky Derby has wonderful stories behind the horses. This year was no different. One of the second tier favorites was General Quarters, owned and trained by a 75-year old school principal. The winner was hauled in a van for 21 hours from a state no normally associated with Thoroughbreds much less Derby winners.
"Mine that WHAT?" Never woulda had that horse. Especially at 50-1. Doesn't stand a chance in the Preakness.
He might surprise you. Mind That Bird was a top two-year old in Canada. And his sire, Birdstone, won the Belmont a few years ago, defeating Smarty Jones.
Don't be so quick to put down that horse. Seabiscuit was very under-rated also. He was far from sleek, tall, and beautiful, but he beat the establishment horse, War Admiral in a match race.
Lets not forget that the real tragedy of this full-on freak show is the widespread exploitation (and abuse) of those noble equines in the name of sportsmanship and entertainment to fuel the overcompensating egos of their assorted owners.
ditto
Do you really think people are going to abuse animals who may be worth millions one day?
Yes, i do, and i have seen it time and again, not to mention that the whole track scene is the abuse i speak of. When it comes to money over a horse's real requirements, guess who the winner will be every time.
These horses are over restricted (penned up in wooden boxes so they don't damage the investment), over fed (rich grains and supplements that turn them into neurotic, high strung out speed freaks), over trained (round and round they go like manic whipped hamsters), driven to the very extremes of their endurance on undersized tracks that subject their joints to extreme angles they were never meant to withstand, day in, day out, breaking legs, necks and whatever, subject to a litany of smaller abuses (from the stable boy's mood to the trainer's whim de jour, and the jockeys need of the moment ) in the never ending search to satisfy someone's ego or bottom line.
And lookout if they don't live up to the game. handed down from situation to situation until, depending on their luck, you guessed it, the glue factory.
What, you think they like living in a box the size of a double bed?
I've worked at racetracks and with horse vets throughout KY. No one loves the animals more. Moreover, they literally wouldn't exist if it wasn't for the sport (how many work horses are still around). They love to run and they love to run fast. There is abuse in every aspect of life (especially if it involves money). But if you're going to generalize, you should note that the vast majority of these animals are well-cared for and protected.
Let's hope your love for horses doesn't shut down the one remaining industry that relies on them.
They have no clue. make a lot of assumptions and let a few bad apples spoil the image; when millions of horse owners would give theri own lives for thei animals
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