We Owe Sarah Palin An Apology

As much as it pains me to admit it, we owe Sarah Palin an apology. And not only Sarah Palin, but, the entire state of Alaska.

It all stems from announcement last week that Sarah Palin's daughter's baby's father's mother had been arrested in Wasilla.

If you haven't been following along, or have misplaced your Palin scorecard, Sherry Johnston is the mother of Levi Johnston. Levi Johnston is the father of Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol's unborn baby.

So, when I heard that Johnson had been arrested at her home as part of an undercover narcotics investigation, I thought what I'm guessing 95% percent of those reading this thought. She was arrested for crystal meth. In fact, I bet she's running a meth lab in her house. All of my friends thought so. In fact, 23/6, Huffington's comedy site, even ran a poll about the likelihood of her house being a meth lab.

Little did we know how wrong we were. It turns out, she wasn't running a meth lab. In fact, it wasn't meth at all. The drug in question was the prescription pain killer Oxycontin.

And what led me to believe that Sherry Johnston was a toothless, drooling meth junkie/ dealer? Prejudice. My own prejudice towards small towns and the goobers that live in small towns.

Sarah Palin actually addressed this prejudice in an interview. Take a look.

Sarah Palin is right. It was wrong of me to automatically assume that it was crystal meth. Of course Alaskans can be addicted to other drugs! And they should be! I mean, what else is there to do in Wasilla other than drugs? And residents of Wasilla should be especially addicted to Oxycontin! I mean, it's known on the street as "Hillbilly Heroin". So, it's marketed right to them.

So, let me state this unequivocally to Sarah Palin and all the residents of Alaska... I apologize.

Also, Sarah, if you could give Rush Limbaugh Sherry Johnston's phone number, that would be great. I've heard he's on the hunt for a new Oxy dealer.

Follow Matthew Filipowicz on Twitter: www.twitter.com/headzupmatt

Comments

[KarenT]

So let's see, if we had a black democratic Presidential candidate who's teenage daughter got pregnant out of wedlock, who's son went into the Army to straighten out a life of drug addiction, who's wife was a former member of an organization that wanted to secede from the U.S., who's future mother of his daughter's husband to be was a drug dealer, who's clothes for his family during the campaign were purchased by the DNC...I wonder what the Rush, Sean, O'Reilly, Fix News crowd would be saying?

[The 13 Colonies]

WRONG< YOU MEAN THE RNC.......­..........­..........­..........­..........­..........­..........­..........­..........­.

[mitsie]

Exactly

[zippy2112]

Obama is pro choice so he would not allow his daughters to be punished with a baby, no one would ever know.
You are right about those other guys talking it up.

[ElBruce]

I hadn't read any of that and me and everyone I knew was assuming it was crystal meth too.

[dakotaharp]

Matthew, after learning today that the money my father had put away, before he passed, was ALL lost in the stock market, I needed a laugh so I read your article. This money was to be used for my son`s college eduacation. He is the first member of my family that was going to college, he still will go but I will make do....than­ks for the laughs....­keep it up.

[Matthew Filipowicz - Huffpost Blogger]

Sorry to hear that, dakota. Glad I could make you laugh. Good luck!

[openlids]

no need to apologize, the Oxies are there to help the goobers sleep after a good couple days of methin' (or whatever it's called)

funny post though!

[nothingmusic42]

the correct term is "tweeking.­"

[Matthew Filipowicz - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks, openlids.

[mjeffn]

Sarah who?......­.........O­h, ya, "THAT ONE"!

[hotstuff]

If it's know as Hillbilly Heroin on the streets, doesn't that make it a hard a drug as heroin, and I take it is inlegal? If so why are you apologizeing or do we ow them a Apology?

[AndThenOneDay]

More Filipowicz please. It's gonna be a long 2009, and we'll need a lot of laughs for the journey.

As a former small town goober who is now a goober in a quite a bit larger town, I spit out my tooth laughing. (I have re-inserted it and and spackled it proper, so not to worry.) Maybe Mr. Filipowicz can turn his attention to exploits of the urban goober one day.

[Matthew Filipowicz - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks, that's very kind.
I too am actually a former goober from Nebraska, now living in Chicago. So, I'm living the life of the urban goober.

[SpaghettyIrish]

Urban goobers are extinct ever since it became general knowledge that the Brooklyn Bridge is not, in fact, for sale.

[ProFromOre]

Actually, Filipowicz, you first thought of meth because the Wasilla area is one of the highest concentrations of meth production and abuse in America. The Matanuska valley used to be world reknowned for it's high quality bud - Matanuska Valley Thunder F*&^, but it's no a cesspool of meth abuse.

No apologies to an enabler of the epidemic, 'Fraud' Palin. Her absurd fiscal decisions while mayor directly contributed to a rise in meth problems in the Wasilla and surrounding areas.

[AndThenOneDay]

"Her absurd fiscal decisions while mayor directly contributed to a rise in meth problems in the Wasilla and surrounding areas."

How so, Pro From O ? Just curious. I've heard that meth capital stuff a lot, but assumed it was urban legend for the campaign.

[Matthew Filipowicz - Huffpost Blogger]

Interesting. Now, I'll know where to visit if I go to Alaska.

And yes, she's caused a world of pain.

[aloha43]

We don't owe Sarah Palin an apology. She owes America an apology.

[me again]

She and her family associate only with the best of Alaska....­.

[leatherbunny]

Wow, no wolf paws or oil breeders? You made yourself a new fan.

[D1116]

"Sarah Palin's daughter's baby's father's mother" hee hee, thats funny.

[Matthew Filipowicz - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks, D1116!

[tantrictim]

i am surprised nobody has mentioned the fact that the Alaska State Troopers may not be the biggest fans of sarah palin considering how the troopergate scandal targeted one of their own, mike wooten, and the arrest of mrs johnston may be politically motivated???

[08politicaljunkie]

She was still caught red-handed, busted, politically motivated or not.

In fact, this could be a scheme on the converse. Palin may not want her daughter to marry into this family -- so, mommie-in-law gets busted.

[cltclt]

For the people asking why it matters, it matters because Sarah palin is the one that claims you are influenced by any association no matter how sleight you may have to someone. (At least as far as Barack Obama's concerned). I assumed it was meth, so I do apologize for that assumption.

[Oonagh]

Pallin around.... guess that is a family trait for the Palins

[mcyina]

Sarah did not pick her daughter's boyfriend let known his parents, a lesson to us all to watch it before we point fingers- we don't know who will end up in our lives or how the people in our lives turn out.

[justathought2]

She "pals around" with drug dealers!!

[Matthew Filipowicz - Huffpost Blogger]

That's funny, justathought2!

[Nitehawk]

Guilt by association. I demand Palin take a drug test.

[flyteeskee]

President Obama didn't pick who sat on committees with him either (Bill Ayers). How convenient your arguement works for Sarah. I hope you are making the same arguement for President Obama.

[vicki77]

He certainly chose to have his campaign kick off party in Ayers' house. Try to wish that one away. Along with his lies about his votes against the second ammendment and the Infant Protection Act.

[Liberalforsure]

Hehe haha hehe!

[Matthew Filipowicz - Huffpost Blogger]

Glad you liked it, Liberalforsure!