Sorry, Maya. Just when peculiar apocalyptic interpretations of the ancient Mayan calendar were about to thrust you into the media frenzy sure to come in 2012, some knuckleheads cut in front of you by predicting the return of Jesus on May 21, 2011.
They insist the world will end a few months after that, unfortunately ruling out the possibility of my San Francisco Giants repeating as World Series champions.
Of course, Christians have been proclaiming the nearness of Jesus' return ever since there have been Christians. The New Testament reflects this, even as it gives evidence of a growing acknowledgment, as the first century transitioned into the second, that the "imminence" of this hope need not imply its "immediacy." The church learned it would be in it for the long haul.
Yet some of the more fringe members of the Christian family have never stopped casting out predictions of a specific day on which human history will dramatically change forever, usually accompanied by fire and brimstone. So far, one might conclude, Jesus has been uninterested in taking the bait.
Despite the history of failed speculation about a precise advent of this new future, some Christians keep going with exuberant talk about the end of days. Whatever their motives, the results are sometimes good for the bottom line: numbers of butts in pews, as well as authors' bank accounts.
Witness the Left Behind franchise, which has made millions promulgating a theology based on the notion of a "Rapture," in which living Christians are snatched away to an otherworldly existence while the rest of earth slides fearfully into political and moral chaos. This theology comes from a very idiosyncratic view of the Bible that is popular in fundamentalist circles but has also infiltrated wider Christian discourse. Yet it represents a way of thinking about God and history that possesses, at best, dubious biblical support. Its retribution fantasies hardly align with notions of divine love and justice found in many other parts of the Bible.
There are, of course, many passages in the New Testament that steer attention toward the dawn of a new era -- begun in the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus, but also finally to be fulfilled in his future "appearing" and the expectation of a coming judgment. These themes remain a key feature of Jesus' teachings. We can't evade those texts if we hope to understand the New Testament, as a whole. Serious, thoughtful Bible-readers ignore them at their own peril, for doing so allows the distortions of the Left Behind juggernaut to fill the void.
Christians, and those who observe Christianity from a distance, need to be aware of what these texts describe and the functions they should fulfill.
(There is not space in this post to delve into the Bible's thoughts about the end of the world or the possibility of an afterlife. Although they are tempting, those related topics will have to wait for another day, assuming I make it.)
So, how should we read?
First, we have to note how context matters. Future hopes are given greatest attention in the New Testament usually when two other things are in view: the corrosive effects of religious hypocrisy and early Christians' experience of persecution. Biblical passages about Jesus' return therefore reiterate that God's commitment to the world is not warmly embraced by the world's business-as-usual religious, social, and political routines.
Second, biblical images associated with Jesus' return are highly symbolic. Clouds, trumpets, stars falling from the skies, angelic shouts -- these are familiar tropes in the Bible and its related literature. They became staple symbols, ways of signaling the divine presence. They are more theologically evocative than physically descriptive.
Third, "symbolic language" does not mean "not to be taken seriously." These texts are important in their ability to communicate that we don't live in the best of all possible worlds. They point toward the promise of a better future. New Testament scholar Dale Allison likens the Bible's visions of the end to its visions of the beginning:
"Genesis is no historical record of the primordial past, and the New Testament offers no precognitive history of the eschatological future ... We must interpret them not literally but as religious poetry, which means with our theologically-informed imaginations." (page 97)
Therefore, these passages prompt us to let the dimensions of our "longed-for future" be creatively informed by our "present religious experience and faith and theological reflection" (page 98). What Christians say, then, is the state of affairs Jesus promised the world has yet to come to full fruition. New Testament talk about the future issues vivid reminders that God still has work to do among us. The specifics about the future remain wholly mysterious. Still, the dominant emphasis is on promoting hope, not inciting fear.
All this could leave Christianity vulnerable to charges of escapism, but only if it leads people to ethical and social passivity. Or to paint motor homes like this.
A fourth observation pushes against passivity, however. Biblical images about Jesus' return evoke the sights and sounds of Roman propaganda. For example, caution expressed in 1 Thessalonians 5:3 concerning seductive reassurances spoken about "peace and security" in the world refers to an imperial slogan. Also, as one might expect given Christians' occasional status as a marginalized group in the first century, these images sometimes also imitate Roman propaganda. The description of Jesus' return in 1 Thessalonians 4 depicts him with language recalling Roman dignitaries' official visits to cities.
These passages' subtle connections to imperial rhetoric allow them to subvert it, too. They thus can commit Christians to an unwillingness to rest content with the status quo of human political existence. They portray the future that God will inaugurate as showing up our inferior ideals -- exposing all that humankind settles for (and gets oppressed by) as false substitutes for true peace and true security. They speak about a world that is sick, about people who abuse power. At the same time, they call people of faith not to shun or denigrate human society but to work for the world's redemption.
And so I'm already making plans for May 22. In fact, I'm predicting the Giants will beat the Oakland Athletics that afternoon.
Apocalypse - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
frontline: apocalypse!: readings: christian millennial expectation ...
Author explores apocalyptic Christian culture | Reuters
Apocalypse Soon: Christian Movement Says 5/21/11 - CBS News
May 21, 2011: Judgment Day Rumors Spread Across The US
THE GREATEST EARTHQUAKE ON 5/21/2011 - History of Christianity ...
GET READY THE MESSIAH COMETH 5/21/2011 - Church/Religious ...
Predicting people disappearing is equally a no-brainer.
Perhaps the biggest will be a 3.0 under the ocean's floor and since he is still here, he will claim he was temporarily left behind so he could say "told you so".
No matter what happens, he will spin it to say he was right.
The apocalypse is going to be dull.
I got a picture of it too, http://static.panoramio.com/photos/original/52354584.jpg
"And he said unto them, Unto you it is given to know the mystery of the kingdom of God: but unto them that are without, all these things are done in parables: That seeing they may see, and not perceive; and hearing they may hear, and not understand; lest at any time they should be converted, and their sins should be forgiven them." (Mark 4:11-12)
http://www.the-latter-rain.com/god-is-revealing-the-end.html
"If the man of the house had known in what hour the thief would come, then he would have watched, and not had his house broken into."
The "House" is of course this world, and as Satan is the prince of this world, and is therefore the owner of it presently, then it is he who is the "man" of the house.
So, therefore when Jesus also told His disciples that "no man knows the day or the hour in which the Son of man shall come" He is all but telling them that this is a SECRET! Not for our sake, but for the sake of him who would greatly hinder us at His coming if he knew.
In another passage often overlooked and rarely mentioned by Bible scholars even to this day, and which the King James translators simply did not understand, Jesus all but says to His disciples, look this is a secret:
Hereafter, I will not talk much( about the time of my return) with you: for the prince of this world cometh, and hath nothing ( no knowledge) in (about) me."
You do not need to take the story on to involved conclusions.
The "man" is you and me and everyone on earth. If those listeners knew the exact hour of his return then they very well could have said that they could do anything that they wanted to do and just before closing their eyes in death could repent and be saved. They would have known that Jesus was not coming in their day.
The promise of the return of Jesus has been "soon". Looking back in time we don't think it has been "soon". But men and women don't lived very long lives and when they close their eyes in death their "soon" is about to happen if they have believed and believe in the resurrection of the godly when Jesus returns.
Satan has been defeated. Jesus does not have to work out ways for him to be hindered. Jesus was speaking directly to the people listening and to those that would read his words ever after.
We are the ones that must be ready all the time. Jesus says that only the Father knows the time when Jesus will return. Jesus gave us reasonable signs to discern the "nearness". That is all we have to know about the exact time. We do know that "every eye shall see" him. His return will not be quiet or secret.
What is the ultimate in arrogance, hubris and well nigh blasphemy is this temple in Jerusalem belief. If we can build a bunch of stones and kill a few Bulls the Messiah will come. We don't need repentance, love, compassion, holiness, virtue and charity we can conjure a Messiah with a few stones, couple of robes and some dead animals. Both Jewish sects and Fundamentalist Christians believe this. The 12th Imam people have a similar belief. That we can demand bail us out of our mess and that he will kill, damn and punish anyone who is not like us in beliefs.
How about we stop moving the goal posts and just be pleasantly surprised if he shows up?
And in the meantime, live our lives according to the best interests of our existence and that of future generations.
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From what I've read and also according to conventional wisdom, the vast majority of us will not be subjectt to a "pleasent surprise". I've heard that there will be a considerable amount of "gnashing of teeth", and so on.