No one wakes up in the morning thinking, "I wish I could suffer all day, and if possible my whole life." We all strive, consciously or unconsciously, competently or clumsily, to be happier and to suffer less. Nevertheless, we often confuse genuine happiness with merely seeking enjoyable feelings. Happiness is a state of inner fulfillment, not the gratification of inexhaustible desires for outward things. The universe is not a mail-order catalogue for our desires and fancies.
Happiness is often equated with a maximization of pleasure, and some imagine that true happiness would consist of an interrupted succession of pleasurable experiences. This sounds more like a recipe for exhaustion than for genuine happiness. There is no reason to deprive ourselves of the enjoyment of a magnificent landscape, of swimming in the sea or of the scent of a rose, but we must understand that the experience of pleasure is dependent upon circumstance, on a specific location or moment in time. It is unstable by nature, and the sensation it evokes can soon become neutral or even unpleasant.
Unlike pleasure, genuine happiness may be influenced by circumstance, but it isn't dependent on it. It actually gives us the inner resources to deal better with those circumstances.
Thus, happiness is rather an optimal way of being, an exceptionally healthy state of mind that underlies and suffuses all emotional states, that embraces all the joys and sorrows that come one's way. This way of being comes together with a cluster of human qualities, such as altruistic love, compassion, inner peace, inner strength, and wisdom, which can be cultivated. Happiness is a skill that requires effort and time.
It is the mind that translates good and bad circumstances into happiness or misery. So happiness comes with the purging of mental toxins, such as hatred, compulsive desire, arrogance and jealousy, which literally poison the mind. It also requires that one cease to distort reality and that one cultivate wisdom.
Moreover, we can never be truly happy if we dissociate ourselves from the happiness of others. The pursuit of selfish happiness is bound to fail. It is a lose-lose situation in which we make ourselves miserable and create misery around us. This in no way requires us to neglect our own happiness. Our desire for happiness is as legitimate as anyone else's. We must realize that in the deepest part of ourselves, we fear suffering and aspire to happiness. We should then realize that all sentient beings want to avoid suffering just as much as we do. This should lead to the strong aspiration to do whatever we can to ease other's suffering and contribute to their lasting well-being.
WATCH:
Matthieu Ricard is a Buddhist monk who went from a scientific career as a molecular biologist in France to the study of Buddhism in the Himalayas 40 years ago. He has been the French interpreter for the Dalai Lama since 1989. Matthieu donates all proceeds from his work and much of his time to 30 humanitarian projects in Asia through Karuna-Shechen. You may learn more about him on his website, MatthieuRicard.org.
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Fanned for clear thinking.
Too many trap themselves in, let's call it "the empty cycle of chocolate" type of thinking. I like chocolate too, but to be dependent on it, or any external "thing", rather than yourself for "happiness" is at worse, insanity; at best, foolishness... and always and ultimately, emptiness.
You are you only higher happiness.
Thanks for the reminder.
Lawson Meadows
As John Wooden said, “Happiness begins where selfishness ends.†Also, Coach Wooden's prescription for success could equally apply to happiness: "Success is peace of mind that is the direct result of self-satisfaction in knowing you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming."
and I tend to agree,
but let me say that over
the past 11 yrs that I've been
married to my hubby,
there has been plenty of pleasure
that has provided pure happiness :)
Some herein expressed a problem understanding the "state of inner fulfillment". I am puzzled about that. Being happy is subjective and a bit like art in that we know what we like when we see it. With happiness it is the same... we know when we are happy; when we are fulfilled. So I would think if you are questioning it, you are probably not.
Of course I agree that pleasure and happiness are disparate concepts, however, I am always happy to indulge in pleasure, and it sure is a pleasure to be happy.
Thanks for the depth and breadth of your thoughts.
Lawson Meadows
many times pleasure ..can be destructive.
it is all relative.
sex....for instance.
love for instance.
... and happiness is NOT the meaning of life.
Is there a free law clinic in your area? That might be a start toward getting the $$ you are owed.
I don't know any reliable sources who equate happiness with maximum pleasure as he says: "Happiness is often equated with a maximization of pleasure."
I totally disagree with his assertion that "we must understand that the experience of pleasure is dependent upon circumstance, on a specific location or moment in time," this is blatantly untrue.
Happiness comes from how we decide to focus our time and attention. We can find happiness in the most miserable of situations and there are people who can be miserable in the most magnificent of circumstances. It's NOT all about where we are but how we react to it.
I'm confused about exactly what Ricard suggest we do to be happy or happier, that was the focus of our Happiness Habit research. See http://HappinessHabit.com and http://Creating-Happiness.com for our approach to building greater happiness.
Confusion and uncertainty about exactly what we can do to be happier seems to be a constant theme among those who want us to believe that happiness is outside of our grasp or that it comes only from their unique spiritual insights.
Michele Moore ~ HappinessHabit.com
What he said was: "We often confuse genuine happiness with merely seeking enjoyable feelings. Happiness is a state of inner fulfillment, not the gratification of inexhaustible desires for outward things."
Basically he is saying that happiness is a deeper more lasting feeling, it's more profound then pleasure.
In my own opinion it's good to separate the two because you can observe how your mind goes up and down when you don't get what you want and then you get what you want. Pleasure is fleeting and not stable. Happiness is about fulfillment in your whole life, and how your living it.
"Happiness is a state of inner fulfillment, not the gratification of inexhaustible desires for outward things."
Happiness as an inner state of fulfillment? Fulfillment of what? Unstated desires?
"For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one's personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one's surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen, and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it."
How strong is that?
Strong and wise in that it reflects the fact that the journey is so important because of what you can become along the way. There is more success in the trip, than the destination.
True happiness comes less from what you accomplish, and more from what you become.
Fanned for the great quote.
Lawson Meadows