Are You Rejecting Your Feminine Traits?

04/08/2015 05:43 pm ET | Updated Jun 07, 2015

There is a rising in the world at present, the rising of feminine energy. For so long we have been bathed only in the masculine. It's what our organizations, our power structures, our success models and even many (ok, most) of our societal structures are based on, at least in the west. You may recognize the masculine around you and indeed in you. Qualities like drive, independence, aggression, arrogance, competitiveness and confidence are all traits that are associated with the masculine. And it doesn't take much searching to see them everywhere, in men and in women. These are not bad traits; of course we need them and they are especially powerful when they are in balance with the feminine -- traits like being empathetic, expressive, honest, loving, kind and nurturing.

But far too often, we have let the masculine go into overdrive and we have let our divine feminine nature wither on the vine.

It's not so surprising is it really? Just look around you. What we see so often is that if you want to be powerful, if you want to succeed, if you want to control your own destiny, then you need to drive, you need to strive and you need to push. Hard. It's why in the past we have seen so few female role models who are not just another version of a man, sometimes even more masculine, which can lead women and especially younger women, feeling that there is no way for them to be successful if they don't become 'that version' of success.

We want to be seen. We want to be valued. We want to fit in and to be accepted. So we become what we think is required. It's not our fault alone. It's how we have been socialized. And it's the energy that has been all around us for centuries.

As I look at my PhD research in feminine power, and I reflect on the women's movements of the past 100+ years and much of the mainstream feminist dialogue today (which I am eternally grateful for), I see a lot of masculine traits, yet not a lot of the feminine traits that we need now, to truly get past the fight for diversity, for equality even, to get to unity. I know we are not there yet. Perhaps not even close. But it is within our reach.

Because times are changing. There is another way, and it starts with us reclaiming who we really are. It's time to come home to yourself. Time to honor the sacred feminine within you. The nurturing, empathic, intuitive and compassionate side of yourself. It's time to open yourself up to the wisdom of who you really are.

I am on this journey as well. I spent decades of my life rejecting the feminine for fear that I would appear soft, vulnerable, and essentially powerless. I saw the feminine as weakness. I lived in "drive and strive" energy for a good 15 years in organizations that relied on it, cultivated it and expected it. I kept doing it until the very cost of denying who I was and how I was meant to be in the world became too great, and I got so sick that I had no choice but to start out on a new journey. It was a rocky path. It took me another five years to really understand that the denying of my core traits, the things that make me come alive and ignite my soul, were actually my feminine aspects that were crying out to be seen and valued. My ability to nurture others as well as myself, my kindness, my humour, my creativity, my positive expression and indeed, my femininity itself.

We women are all on the heroines journey. The rejection of the feminine and identification with the masculine is part of this path we have walked. The reclaiming of our feminine nature is what will bring us home, for ourselves, for our men and for the children we raise so that they can see a different way of being in the world. A more authentic way. A more peaceful way. A more unified and balanced way.

And let's not forget, our men our crying out for a way to be in more balance with their feminine traits, in a world that has long rejected their right to be anything other than the alpha male: dominant, in charge, strong, successful, driven, competitive, bread winner. By us owning and stepping into our divine feminine, by raising the value of feminine traits in women and in men, we give our men space and permission to find a more nurturing balance for themselves as well. This is how we get the change we are all so desperately seeking, at home, at work and in society.

So how do you come to yourself, to your divine feminine nature? Start by spending more time with your female friends. Create a sacred women's circle; it can be in the guise of anything from a book club to a running group, from drinks on a Wednesday night to a full moon gathering on the beach once a month. We have lost the art of gathering as women once did, to connect, to nurture each other and to actually give space, time, energy and permission for the feminine to rise within us individually and collectively. We need to honor it. We need to make it important. And we need to raise it's value as high as the masculine has been raised for what seems like all of eternity.

Make it real and make it regular. Create a daily ritual for yourself, to bring in nurturing practices that honor the feminine. Create a sacred space. Mediate. Chant. Walk. Swim in the ocean. Cleanse your crystals. Light a candle. Paint. Sing. Dance. Create. Start with whatever moves you, whatever lights even the smallest spark that will help to bring you home.

It's time to call in the feminine. She is waiting for you. This is where your true power lies. Your feminine power.

Megan Dalla-Camina is the author of Getting Real About Having It All (Hay House) and Rise and Shine; Creating the Career and Life You Love. For resources and research, visit her website at