Arianna Huffington wrote in her introductory blog for HuffPost's Breakthrough: The Power of Crisis section:
"I found myself consumed with identifying practical solutions and sources of help that those struggling could use right away ... and I recognized that it all starts with each individual's inner strength and resilience."
The human capacity for strength and resilience is extraordinary. It never ceases to amaze me, whenever I'm fortunate enough to hear a story of what some awe-inspiring person or people overcame. I say fortunate because I'm continually grateful for the reminder to put my own problems into perspective.
Just this weekend a close friend and I were sitting in her kitchen talking about grief. She was telling me about her aunt's reaction to the death of her brother--my friend's father--who passed away a few years ago. The aunt had already lost nearly every member of her family, and was convinced she'd never feel happiness again. "But," my friend told me, "she did." We do, I thought. Nearly always, we get through.
This simple story of resilience is but one of billions around the world. You may have one in your head right now. It's the rare person that has never felt pain or had tragedy touch their lives. And anyone that's come out on the other side has something valuable to say that others can benefit from.
That's where we come in. Here, on HuffPost's Breakthrough section, we are harnessing the power of story to provide solutions for those suffering through crisis.
Tony Robbins said, "the most powerful way to find the solutions that can turn our lives around is to reconnect to what we already know." Most of us don't even realize just how deep our capacity for strength goes, until we're forced to dig down and access it. The 'answers' aren't something to be doled out by experts, or hiding in a hard-to-reach, far off place. Each of us is born with them, and by sharing our stories, we can all be reminded of them.
The kind of story we're interested in is one of solutions, not problems. Can you conjure up that moment or period of time when you went from overwhelming pain to discovering a way past it--and then beyond it? It's what Tony refers to as a 'breakthrough,' the namesake of this section. That's what we're interested in hearing about. How did it happen? What was it like? How did you pull through? What helped?
It only takes a few minutes to share your story right now. Focus on the solutions you've learned, not the problem you faced or are still facing. You can type a few words and/or upload a picture or a video. If it helps, answer Tony Robbins's five questions (below) as a guideline.
Statistics can go in one ear and out the other, and words, even the most well-intentioned, can be empty. But a personal story -- the kind that gives you a peep hole right into someone else's life -- resonates with us. A story can become cemented in your mind, where you'll find it's called upon again and again when it's needed.
By sharing these positive stories -- your solutions -- you can pay it forward. You never know with whom your story will resonate. What you have to say could be exactly what someone else needed to hear.
Click 'Add A Slide' to PARTICIPATE:
Answer these five questions:
1) What was your life right before the challenge or crisis hit?
2. What was the crisis you faced? What happened, and when it did, what did you feel and experience?
3. What pulled you through this difficult, unjust or impossible time? What was the trigger or catalyst for change? Was it a belief, a strategy, a faith, a person, a tool? What made the change possible?
4. Once you turned the corner mentally or emotionally, what did you do to turn your life around?
5. How is your life better today because you lived through the crisis? How have you been transformed? How are you stronger emotionally, physically, spiritually? What gifts do you have to give because of this?
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2. My crisis was three years ago when my Mother had a severe right brain stroke. The deficits that she faced as a result, requires that she be cared for either through an assisted living or from family. She was no longer able to live alone. I relocated her to the state that I live in in order to provide the care that she needed. I experienced tremendous stress, because no one is ever completely prepared for this kind of event. I felt an extreme sense of loss of self, because it takes so much time and energy to over see every aspect of an aging parent with Dementia and or Alzheimers. I felt fear, (which is not your friend) because eventually you face financial restraints, it is extremely expensive to provide the care that an aging parent needs. I felt an extreme sense of loss, abandonment from extended family and certain friends. A sense of isolation, which is common.
3. I worked really hard on releasing resentment to this situation.
4. I am working on starting a business that addresses Caregiving Stressors ~ with real solutions.
5. Learning to embrace my humanness and compassion. Mom is still with us thriving instead of surviving.
But for some, the crisis is extended. For example, the combat vet with PTSD who has not had intervention, the crisis of seeing friends blown to bits is replaced by the crisis of PTSD. Some people do not come out of their crisis by "digging deep down and remembering how they came through a previous crisis."
Mental illness can't always be cured by determination.
So it is true of other situations.
That is not to say the person can't come through these crises. But it can be harmful to use "attaboy you can do it" strategies with those for whom one more setback means a trip to suicide.
May those who cannot do it on their own or with their partner find the help they need.