Mother's Day Thoughts from a Political Mom

As a single mother whose day job is that of a New York City Council Member and who also happens to be running for office, I thought Mother's Day would be a good time to share my story on balancing work and motherhood on the campaign trail.

Like many women in New York -- and throughout the country for that matter -- I'm all too accustomed to the challenges, trials and tribulations of balancing work with motherhood. Suffice it to say, I've learned more than I could have ever anticipated since the birth of my son Carter just over a year ago. Most of the challenges I face are not unique to me and, quite frankly, have nothing to do with my position as an elected official. They range from the purely mundane to moments of "crisis" (a word that, of course, becomes a much too frequent member of the lexicon for new mothers).

How do I best fit my work schedule around his? How much can I get done during his naps/at night? Am I overpaying for childcare? Do I try to come home during lunch if I can? What do I do if the nanny gets sick?

But there are some things I face that are somewhat unique to the life of a single mom politician. One thing you learn as a candidate or sitting official is that everything becomes a political issue. If I have to bring Carter with me -- to an event, to City Hall for an emergency session -- do I have to think twice about being accused of using him as a political prop, or do I decide to take whatever comes because I need to do what's best for my kid? Do I heed the advice of political consultants who tell me I should mention being a mother as much as possible? Having conceived through in vitro fertilization, do I answer personal questions from reporters who ask about Carter's parentage? Regardless of whether I answer or choose not to, I run the risk of having my answer become politicized.

I have no illusions about the double-standard women face when they run for elected office, and I chose my career -- and, more recently, to run for the position of NYC Comptroller -- in spite of that. Male politicians, after all, never get asked if their familial commitments take away from their ability to do their job. And they rarely get scrutinized for using photos of their family on their website. I, however, face this all the time. And as much as I harbor hope that my son grows up in a world where that bias melts away, I'm a pragmatist and I'm well aware of the advantages that being a woman can bring.

One of those advantages is perspective. I like to say that everything is a woman's issue -- we just bring a different perspective to it. And right now I think there aren't enough public officials who understand and champion the perspective of working mothers.

Ultimately, I'm not just running as a woman or a mom. I'm running as a lawyer, a legislator, a skilled negotiator, a product of public schools, a New Yorker with great experience and compelling ideas about how to better steward the City's finances through this tumultuous period. But for the part of me that is running as a mom, I'm eager to hear what others think about the often imperfect balance between work and motherhood. Please share your experiences and your questions, and I look forward to sharing more of mine.

Thanks for reading, and again, Happy Mother's Day.

Comments

[otherperspective]

On reading your blog I found a curious omission. I perused your bio and although you mention your parents civic duties you don’t mention what to me has to be a resounding loss in your life and all the more so on Mother’s Day. Having known you when you were a very young child without a mother you would call me “mommy” as well as anyone else who you would get close to. I found this heart wrenching. And although I'm happy to see that you've grown up to be a have a successful career and be a mother, within the scope of having known you personally, I find your article rather disingenuous and more politically motivated than heartfelt.

[cqyates]

I read this article with interest until I reached the word "nanny" and shut off.

Ms Katz experience as a single mom is a million miles away from mine.

I can barely afford to keep my youngest in daycare
I can't afford health insurance and don't qualify for medicaid cause I live in the backward state of GA
I have to cut out groceries and make too much for food stamps

Everytime Ms. Katz pulls her wallet out of her pocket to solve a parenting "crises". I would hope she would stop to think of the millions of single moms across this country that don't have that luxury.

[LeslieNY]

Good luck Melinda in your upcoming race!

Looking around your site, it is truly impressive, (and not at all surprising), the amount of support you have received already from New York City women. I am sure one of the reasons why you already have such a strong following is because of your strength and courage to discuss issues like the ones you have raised here.

Just in case anyone else is interested in checking out Melinda's site, see the link below:
http://www.melindakatzforny.com/main.cfm?actionId=globalShowStaticContent&screenKey=cmpContent&htmlKey=women&nav=women&s=katz

[MelindaKatzNYC]

I just want to say a quick note of thanks for all the supportive comments I've received today from friends and strangers alike. Your words made my own Mother's Day all the more gratifying. It's a humbling experience to realize how the strength of an individual voice on issues of such often-overlooked importance can be amplified by the echo of so many others. And from the stories, anecdotes and words of wisdom others have shared with me about their challenges of mixing work and motherhood, I take even greater inspiration to make a difference. I look forward to sharing more observations with you in the weeks and months ahead. I hope everyone had a wonderful Mother's Day.

[judd]

what a remarkably candid statement and how refreshing it is to hear it from a candidate for office. best of luck to you, melinda, and to the people of new york should they have the good sense to elect you.

[AnnfromCA]

Speak out, then.

Because what the "progressives" said about Palin DOES affect you.

They harmed every liberal woman, too.

[hobb]

Congratulations Melinda!
Your work in the NYC Council is exemplary and you truly are an outstandingly caring mom.
As people get to know you they understand how dedicated you are to public service. If you bring half that dedication, that you have shown as a Council Member and as a mom to the Comptroller's office, the people's finances are in good hands.

[broomelk]

I appreciate the work you have done on behalf of women's health issues, and your article raises some interesting points on the gender-specific problems that women, particularly a woman politician, face at work. Within the political arena, I would hope that you mention Carter and your role as a working mother whenever you see fit; he is a tremendous part of your life, and I am confident that more people will relate to your issues than deride you for bringing up your son's name. Good luck in your campaign, and I hope that you write some more articles for the blog.

[Alice Tseng]

It is a victory for women that we are considering the kind of issues you have shared - how much has changed in 1-2 generations! Single mothers, working single mothers, seldomly have the wherewithal to reflect on how well they are doing and the double standard landmines in their reality. They do their best and often produce the best results - single mothers are the heroines behind so many amazing "productions" out there, including our new president. You will do great by Carter!

[MadHeart]

What if women ruled the world? Don't obsess about being a working mother and "harming" your child. I had my children at 18 and 19 and at 21 was a divorced mother with no real child support, had to work at low paid jobs (secretary, not boss), and went through many trials and tribulations, some instigated by the kids themselves as they got older, and sometimes in poverty. I never remarried. Yet, today, both my sons, nearing 50 fast, both of them, tell me they admire me for what I accomplished for them, for standing up for myself and other women through my work with and for women many years ago and exposing them to other facets of life. There are many of us out here who do OK with not many resources. Even if you can't shower your children with material things, good schools, and the rest, knowing they're loved and understood gets them through everything, even if the rest of the world considers them "failures.".

[mommadona]

"One of those advantages is perspective. I like to say that everything is a woman's issue -- we just bring a different perspective to it. And right now I think there aren't enough public officials who understand and champion the perspective of working mothers."

Let's stop killing the next generations of leaders, also:

Original Proclamation of Mother's Day
http://www.peace.ca/mothersdayproclamation.htm

Onward...

[MikeLicht]

Careful. Mother's Day can make you crazy.

See:

http://notionscapital.wordpress.com/2009/05/07/the-story-of-mothers-day/

[dojeki]

I am the product of a single, widowed working mother, who by no choice of her own, picked up the pieces and raised 3 exceptional (if I may be so bold) human beings. I saw on a daily basis the struggle to keep our home, which she did, be both a Mom and a Dad (my poor brother in a house full of women) and instill the virtues of morality and sensibility. She always let us know that she believed in us and that we could be whatever we wanted, if we worked hard for it. She set the example that I still live by today, I reach for the stars because I know they are within my grasp. I pray that one day my own children, who have many more advantages than I had, can see the legacy my mother left us.
I look at your accomplishments with awe, you reach for the stars because they are within your grasp and Carter will follow your lead.