Although I am not a football fan, I am from Charlotte. It was amazing to watch the Carolina Panthers amazing 14 - 1 season. Our city was buzzing and dabbing all the way to the Super Bowl -- up until we realized winning the final game may prove to be more difficult than we thought. Talk about being disappointed. It was painful to watch the team go from being at the height of their best season to an all time low in a matter of hours. If it was painful for fans to watch, I only imagine how it must have felt for the team.
But, how do you deal with that level of hurt, disappointment, and criticism when it comes to your career and the whole world watching? I've never been disappointed to that degree with millions watching, but who hasn't experienced some level of disappointment in their career before. I have personally experienced being laid off... twice!
We all know there will be times in our lives where you have to face and deal with public failure. The kind that literally knocks the wind out of our sail. The key is knowing it's okay to be disappointed, you just can't stay there.
When dealing with disappointment:
Know when to walk away
Cam Newton was highly criticized for walking out in the middle of the post Super Bowl press conference. Maybe he should have reacted differently and stayed. However, it was his right, as it is yours, to take a moment and breathe after experiencing disappointment. Who wants to be asked a 1,001 repetitive questions moments after one of the most disappointing experiences of their career? At times, saying and acting how we really feel could do more harm than good, and the best option is to walk away.
Know it's ok to grieve
Disappointments of any kind take a toll on you, not just in your career. I remember when my father passed away. I was filled with hurt, anger, and lack of understanding, but was afraid to express it. I felt if I allowed myself to be sad it would turn into a depression that would never end. Or if I allowed myself to be angry, I would go on a raging war path. I remember one of my colleagues continuously encouraging me, "Melissa, you have to grieve. You have to let it out!" So one day I did! I woke up one Saturday morning and felt like I could lay in the bed for days; but after I gave myself permission I realized, I only needed a few hours to just be. And at the end of the day I knew allowing myself to grieve was what I needed to move on.
Treat yourself with kindness
One of the things I love about my best friend is her calling out when I'm too hard on myself. She'll say "I think you are being too hard on yourself. Give yourself some grace" after hearing me rant about what I should have done differently in my life or business. It reminds me a video I saw of Brene Brown, she asked the audience, would you say all the things you say to yourself to your children? And in unison, everyone loudly said, "No!" Mistakes will happen.
Disappointments will happen, both professionally and personally. How you treat yourself and the words you say will determine how long it takes for you to bounce back. Give yourself the space to deal with what happened and assess the lessons learned. Be sure that one of them is learning how to move on. There are many more wins ahead, only available to those who willing to move forward.
About the Author
Melissa J. Nixon is a captivating keynote speaker, trainer, executive leadership coach, and courageous life strategist. She specializes in growing, developing and inspiring leaders and influencers to maximize their career, business and life potential.