I recently welcomed my fourth baby and while his birth was easy, he unexpectedly exceeded his due date. The last time I had seen my due date was with my firstborn. She entered our world after an unwanted induction at 41 weeks, 2 days. My middle two were sweet enough to arrive before their official due dates and I expected nothing less from my fourth.
But it wasn't meant to be and those last few weeks, and especially days, as I sat as big as an elephant awaiting the opportunity to push a not-so-tiny newborn out of my lady parts were brutal for so many reasons:
You can't make plans.
I stopped making plans weeks before baby arrived in anticipation of baby's arrival "any second" (ha!) I didn't feel I could commit to anything because if baby came then that woul change everything. And I really hate to cancel, especially last-minute (because it happens to me all.the.time and it really sucks) plus I don't really think I'd remember to call and say I can't make our playdate if I happened to be in a labor at the time. I know people wouldn't hold it against a pregnant mommy for a no show due to pushing a small human out of her vagina, but I like to be courteous. So I was stuck being a woman without a plan, just waiting.
You know that baby is just getting bigger in there.
All I dreamed about the last few months of my pregnancy was how nice it would be to have another peanut like my second daughter (who at 5 years old has yet to break 40 lbs) after her little brother who was born 22 inches and almost 9 pounds and was unwieldy from the start. But with every day of pregnancy that goes by, baby is just beefing up more and more and my peanut dreams were squashed by another big boy (this one was also 22 inches but 9 1/2 pounds!)
Pregnancy just plain sucks at the end.
No need to sugarcoat it, pregnancy is no fun at the end, you can read all the reasons I previously outlined here.)
Even once you're ready, you're stuck constantly re-preparing.
Three weeks before baby, I was still wildly unprepared and while I would have still gladly welcomed him, I was thankful for the the time in which I fully prepared our home for baby to easily fit into and got everything sorted for our homebirth. I did laundry and cleaned the kitchen countless times in anticipation of not having another chance before baby arrived. Yet life goes on, with or without baby, and things get dirty, the "prep" work become never-ending!
You have nothing better to do than plan, wait, contemplate and obsess.
When all you're doing with your time is sitting around, waiting for baby, your mind runs wild. You have time to obsess over every detail of what might happen, what could happen, when it might happen, when it could happen. Your mind becomes a cluster of possibilities and what ifs. You dream of those moments a thousand times and set yourself up for what will surely be a let down when the scenario you get is not actually anything like the thousand you've imagined.
The people drive you crazy, all of them.
Your other sweet children who play nicely and laugh uncontrollably (just be quiet!).
Your dear friends who send a constant stream of text and PM "how you doing"s and well wishes (I appreciate the thought but I'll let you know!).
The cheerful clerks at stores that want to know when you're due and what you're having (for the millionth time, dear stranger, we don't know!).
The soft-spoken, unusually polite and cheerful owner of the fancy restaurant where you have a due date date who has NOOOO idea this is your fourth and says he hopes to see you back when the gender will be apparent (does that open invitation include my other three darling and amazingly well-behaved children, dear sir, as I seem to have missed your children's menu!).
Your amazing husband and other family members who try to help in every way possible (you want to help? How about you get this thing out of me!).
But there are a few positives as well, such as:
- The ability to pee a gallon of water without actually drinking anything.
This post was previously published on Beyond Mommying where you can follow all my parenting adventures.