We begin the next installment of this snoozefest with Kourtney, Kim and Scott discussing an email from Kim's one-time bodyguard, Shengo. Scott, true to form, brightens the occasion by commenting that Shengo is calling to protect Kim's ass. Just in case we didn't hear it the first time, he talks about Kim's ass again. Scott seems as out of place with the Kardashians as Kim was on stage with Prince earlier this week. Thankfully, Prince had the nerve to do something about it.
This week, we get more of the visual treat that is Scott. He is shopping with his boss. (Boss? He works? Anyway, he makes a revealing statement while golf club shopping: "All my clothes are custom, why not my clubs?" Well, now we know the secret! This is why we never see clothes like Scott's in the stores. Custom clothes, as in, only available on Palm Beach Island. Custom clubs, as in, much easier to trace back to the owner when left at the scene of a crime.
Kourtney tells Kim she falls in love with everyone she lays. Eyes on. Lays eyes on. The PR spin whirs into motion when Kim declares, "It's not that big of a deal, it's just dinner."
I don't think anyone begrudges the girl a dinner out with an attractive male companion. But Kim is an exercise in Kontradictions. She's made a big show of saying she doesn't drink, but she drinks on this date, as she has in other episodes. She doesn't want us to think she's a "slore," but then she suggests Shengo come back to her place on the pretense of seeing Kourtney and Scott -- even though "they probably won't be up." The grand tour ends in her bedroom. Making out. And shutting the door. And taking clothes off. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. Haven't we seen this before? Then they close the blinds. Oh. There's the difference. Usually we get to see. The disclaimer this time is "It's not that big of a deal, he just spent the night."
Then we go to the store and they are trying to decorate. This surprised me because we've seen Khloe come and go, we've seen Kim on various dates, and that store still isn't done. The designer seemed like he was about to fall into a coma while the girls prattled on about Shengo.
Flash to Scott Corleone Disick and his three piece suit, first shown picking up a $3500 dinner bill with his "work" buddies, then at the Rolls Royce dealership dropping a quarter mil on a car. The guys roast him for wanting to check with Kourtney. Um, boys? Let me help you out for a bit. Kourtney is the Kash Kow. The only reason the world knows Scott is because of Kourtney. And the only reason the world knows Kourtney is because of Kim. And the only reason the world knows Kim is because of a rendezvous with a video camera in Motel 6. Capiche?
Then Shengo teaches Kim to play pool because she apparently doesn't know how. Since pool is all about getting the ball in the hole, I suspect our girl will be fine. Then she jets off to Shengo's and instead of saying "It's not a big deal," she coyly says, "We'll see."
Then there's breakfast or lunch with Kourtney and for the 142nd time we have to hear that Kim's always in a relationship, she's never single. More spin. This family has waged a multi-year damage control campaign on Kim's reputation by painting her as a teetotaling, wholesome, serial monogamist.
And yet, somehow, perhaps because of her behavior, the world believes otherwise.
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Melissa blogs at Velvet in Dupont and can be found on Facebook.