The Real Problem with Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop

Gwyneth Paltrow has always been high on any list of celebrities people love to hate, but since launching the unfortunately-named lifestyle website "Goop" a few months back, she has been subjected to heightened levels of internet derision. Paltrow dismisses the backlash, claiming that "people get a hit of energy when they are negative and it is very detrimental for them."

I'd say she's got it half right.

I do get a hit of energy every Thursday after my Goop newsletter arrives. I usually squeal with glee, immediately open the email, then my office mate and I spend the next 15 minutes reading aloud the most painfully Paltrow-esque lines. (Example: "I cringe when I add cupfuls of sugar to sweeten things, so instead I add agave syrup to this lovely spiced drink and it works beautifully.")

But while Gwyneth sees this as an unhealthy obsession for me (which may be true) I'd say it's probably a good thing for her. Here is why: I am willing to bet that 95% of the people who signed up for Goop did so for precisely the same reason I did: to have something to make fun of every week. Because if you're not reading it for laughs, there's not really a point.

Paltrow claims the charitable impetus behind Goop is to share the vast cache of knowledge she has acquired as a result of being beautiful, wealthy and famous. "I have this incredible, lucky, unique life where I've gotten to travel all over the place and so I started to acquire all of this information. I thought this would be a fun, creative way to share it," she says. Now, that sounds nice enough, but if only it were true. Goop's greatest shortcoming is not its vaguely scatological name, or even Paltrow's smug tone. It's actually that most of its tips are painfully, ridiculously obvious--even if you're not Steven Spielberg's niece. It's unclear to me who Goop's readers are supposed to be, if not snarky jerks like me.

Take last week's issue, wherein Paltrow queries her mostly famous besties about their favorite books. Their picks include such criminally overlooked novels as Pride and Prejudice, Anna Karenina and Jane Eyre. Sadly, her list does not include a single idiosyncratic, offbeat or hard-to-find title; in fact, it bears a striking resemblance to my high school reading list. Of course, there is nothing wrong with having predictably highbrow taste in books, but the idea that she is somehow unlocking privileged information is laughable--and more than a little condescending. Add to that Paltrow's solipsistic analysis of the books (Example: "I was doing a film with Ethan Hawke in 1995 and feeling a bit in shock about what was happening with my life. I hadn't found grace yet with the big changes that were afoot. Ethan correctly intuited that I need some perspective, some grounding, some literary bringing down to size") and there really isn't much in the way of inner-aspect-nourishing to be had.

While Paltrow's literary picks aren't exactly earth-shattering, her "no-duh" picks for restaurants and hotels are even worse. Take her recent newsletter about New York. She claims that "I did most of my growing up in this glorious city and it is a part of who I am. I was an uptown kid and a downtown grownup and this duality helps define me." Paltrow implies that having lived both above and below 14th Street makes her as complex as, say, the son of a black man from Kenya and a white woman from Kansas, but this seems unlikely. Nevertheless, you'd think someone who claims to appreciate the diversity of New York could recommend a single restaurant outside of Manhattan, but she doesn't. And her top picks--Babbo, Gramercy Tavern, Balthazar, Momofoku--are not exactly undiscovered gems, to put it mildly.

Worst of all, Paltrow provides few tips that are, shall we say, recession-friendly. Her recent fashion tips for new moms include a cashmere trench coat from Tods and black riding boots from Bottega Veneta. Most egregiously, in a newsletter dedicated to her favorite London spots, Paltrow writes, "the hotels are on the pricey side, by my Goop girls are doing some research into more affordable places." No word yet on who these Goop girls are, or why Paltrow can't be bothered to google "inexpensive hotels London" herself, but you get the idea. While even Vogue is bending over backwards these days to throw in some H&M alongside the Balenciaga, Paltrow isn't too interested in slumming it. She will, however, tell you in detail about all the swank hotels she stayed in while her house was remodeled.

If Paltrow really wanted to generate a devoted readership, she'd really share the rarefied knowledge that comes from being a celebrity with access to the best stylists, trainers, make-up artists and spiritual gurus money can buy. Call me superficial, but I'll take her workout tips, and I'll even tolerate her complaining about her saddlebags. Even Paltrow's diet tips, while a tad on extreme side ("drink pea and avocado soup for two weeks!"), might be useful even if I am not preparing for a role in a big-budget comic book adaptation. The point being, Goop is most bearable when Paltrow shares information that is both privileged but applicable or at least diverting to the life of a woman with less than several million dollars in the bank. To that end, she can make me a bona fide fan if she does any of the following: shares recipes for macrobiotic meals made from food available at a 24 hour bodega for under $10; organizes an online raffle for all her gently worn designer clothing; finally tells us what really happened between her and Brad.

Of course, Paltrow can and should do whatever she wants, critics be damned. If she thinks she is changing women's lives by telling us that the Beverly Hills Hotel is a great place to stay when in LA, then who am I to disabuse her of that notion? The fact is, she may be onto something-- I can't wait for Goop to arrive every week, even if it's for all the wrong reasons.

Comments

[StephanieM]

I could not agree with you more, Ms. Blake.

I've always enjoyed Ms. Paltrow's acting, so I quickly signed up for the Goop emails when I first learned of them. Recently I had to unsubscribe, they do nothing but bring me down. I can not afford to go to the places she writes about - Paris? Probably not. Ever. (Just being realistic.) And it's not just the places, it's all of it - the tone, especially. Would have been better if she had just stayed an actress whose work I enjoy. The more words of hers I read, the less I want to.

[jessicaj]

GOOP is worth reading, if only because Gwyneth doesn't try harder to look perfect-the site has grammatical mistakes and banal comments that a shrewd image manager would delete. More than that, I think we need to hear that Gwyneth worries about her "Shar-Pei like" stomach and makes muffins with agave syrup; it's a dose of reality in a world where celebrities are so guarded (partly because of the scrutiny they are under from we blog types) you almost never hear an honest statement from somebody famous these days at all. Up with GOOP! And the recipes are surprisingly not bad, or I wouldn't be able to be so supportive.

[voltairegirl]

Blythe Danner: amazing actress. Check out some of her old movies to see for yourself.

Gwyneth: able to play a certain type of role (period, emotionally compressed) well, but that's it.

There has always been something entitled about Ms. Paltrow that make her public persona unattractive. It may have no relationship to her real self--who knows? But the extreme and obsessive health-nut stance is such a turn-off, at least to me.

Goop leaves the reader with a giant "Who Cares?" Part of that is the aforementioned creepy over-the-top "healthiness" of her new-age stance, a bigger contributor is that, like so many bloggers, she can't write. In a world where everyone has something to say and can make a little blog to say it in public, I say: Bring back the writers! And pay them, they deserve it!

[Clifford Shikler]

Man o man Meredith, you are funny and oh so right. But these folks don't care and never will.

[cggirl]

Thanks Meredith for intelligently calling out GP's crap - her site is insulting and inane - and is indeed laugh-out-loud obvious. As Time magazine describes it, "a cross between Martha Stewart and Jesus Christ" (only she certainly doesnt have either of their credentials despite the fact she obviously thinks she does). She needs to wake up to reality and get a grip. We are amused for sure, but definitely not enlightened.

[KatD]

Sometimes, hatred, cleverly spewn, is quite funny, but it is the devil's laughter (as Kundera phrased it), not laughter of the Angels. The devil's laughter is contagious, but (and far from nourishing the inner aspect) you're on the wrong side of the struggle. And, as with indulgence in anything not good for you, there is a price to be paid. A post-hate hangover, if you will...

I enjoy GOOP for all the right reasons-I highly recommend the pumpkin bread-- insanely, rhapsodically DELICIOUS. Also, the cleanse diet is fabulous, and spared me the price of a book. We can all benefit from a good unplugging...

Gwyneth has access to a world like few among us ...she has simply accumulated a trove of lovely ideas that she wishes to share with friends, fans and other interested people. A generous, open, harmless, and FREE enterprise. That some would find a way to find this so violently objectionable is absolutely confounding to me (or would be, if hadn't attended a public High School in the U.S.!!)

I have a sneaking suspicion that if Gwyneth wasn't so damn beautiful, kind, talented, Oscared, well-connected and well-married, there wouldn't be quite so much to find to hate about GOOP. Envy, ego, are ever pernicious...

By the way--in general-- simply copping to one's character defects doesn't do much to mollify the fact (snarky jerks take note)...

[IowaGirl]

I couldn't resist looking at Goop,either. GP is quite the gourmet trend-setter--her restaurant bill must be exorbitant from the list of eating places she describes with familiarity. Like another poster said, I am open to liking her, but just can't get any traction. (Gwyneth, give me somethin'!)

I was dying to see her show in Spain w/ Mario Batali and Mark Bittman, but am so disappointed. it is a SNOOZE. The two guys do their damnedest to make it work, but the women are boring and fall into very femmy, passive roles, simply b/c they don't know as much about cuisine as the two men. Bittman, who I ordinarily like, seems to be depressed, perhaps understanding that the format /personal chemistry is not working. Gwyneth just doesn't have a dynamic personality, though you can see she does love Spain. Batali works overtime but even his big personality isn't enough to make up for the other three. It probably would have been much better with just him or he and Bittman, but the producers wanted some eye candy.

[rbryanh]

Ms. Blake:

You're just so closed. Closed. It's terribly sad. Can't you see that you're frozen? Frozen?
When your heart's not open?

I recommend an aura pressure wash - you can rent the equipment inexpensively at the Home Depot, and pick up a solar powered chakra plunger while you're at it. You wouldn't know it today, but I once suffered from a somewhat pungent disposition. After six weeks of consuming nothing but Gwyneth's Merry Berry cleansing infusion in tepid water and daily acidophlis yoghurt high colonics, my disposition is as sweet as fat-free strawberry ice cream I excrete.

[BettyEverdene]

I love GOOP and I love Gwyneth! Maybe I'm fantasizing about a better world but I don't care! It's fun! GOOP isn't about money, it's about quality. Look beyond the obvious!

[sonofwaffles]

It feels like she is doing Goop as a favor to some friend who wants to start their web design career

[tatianalensky]

OMG - the site really exists!!! She really is giving...........advice?

advice on how to induce spectacular rants.....

Oh, and yes, agreed lame lame lame no place to leave comments: well, I guess she´s smarter than she looks.

[ohioan73]

I am a reformed Gwennie worshipper. Aren't all of us who were 20 something in the 90s? Now that I'm 35, I realize how pop culture and the ravings of other peers can seriously mislead you down the road of mediocrity and corniness. Yes, I loved her frumpy, old money style in "A Perfect Murder", I praised her deadpan performance in "The Royal Tennenbaums" and now I realize she plays THE SAME CHARACTER in every movie and she is really a one-note actor. She seems to take clues from her mom, Blythe Danner who plays the same doting "mom" type over and over.

[anghiari]

You never never ever never never ever talk about anyone's mother... TOTALLY unacceptable no matter the point you are trying to make. Besides Blythne Danner is gorgeous and a damn good actress. And please note most actresses get slotted into the same character because nobody writes that many great parts for female actors and sometimes you take what you can get if you want to do your art!

[tatianalensky]

yep, sign me up. I need a few laughs.

[susumar]

Great piece - I'm going to sign up for GOOP for the same reasons you do - I sure need a few laughs! I havent looked at the site yet but I can only hope that it has a place for comments.

[ohioan73]

I don't see a place for comments. :( No fun.

[ObamaEdwards]

Delightful post. Funny and direct and charming--and politely critical of Hollywood nobility's other-worldliness. Thanks!