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Meredith Bodgas

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The 7 Worst Reasons To Get Married

Posted: 04/30/2012 8:56 pm

This article originally appeared on MeritalBliss.com.

There's really only one good reason to get married: because you've found your soul mate, you know each other well enough and long enough to be positive you want to spend the rest of your lives together, and you're mature enough to work hard at keeping your relationship strong. But there are so many bad ones. Here are the seven worst.

Your ex is engaged.
I can't pretend to know how excruciatingly painful it is when you learn that someone you thought you might one day marry is marrying someone else. Still, his or her impending nuptials shouldn't accelerate the relationship you're in toward forever. Whenever celebrity exes get engaged to new loves around the same time, I can't help but think the first engagement is the main reason for the second betrothal.

Related: The scary new way brides are losing weight for their weddings.

You've been dating a while.
Longevity alone isn't enough to qualify your relationship for a successful marriage. It's certainly a nice foundation, but it takes much more, like shared dreams and mutual respect, to have a great shot at working out. Don't take the next step solely because it's the next step; be sure you're perfect together.

You are, or she is, pregnant.
Rush to the altar because you have a baby on the way and you'll probably trip. You don't need to be committed to someone to have sex that ends up creating a person. You should be committed to someone before you marry them. Sure, you two will share a link as long as you two and your child are alive, but plenty of well-adjusted children come from happy single-parent homes -- and they may be better off than those children who come from unhappy two-parent homes. If you were moving toward marriage anyway and, whoops!, there's now a baby on board, by all means, go full steam ahead with your wedding plans.

Your friends are married.
It's nice not to be a third, fifth, or seventh wheel when you go out with your coupled-off pals. It's not as nice when you wish you held out for someone besides the person who makes you a twosome. Besides, good married buddies will hook you up so you won't be single for long.

See more: The worst possible thing a bride could do to a bridesmaid

Your family wants you to.
Arranged marriages have worked for centuries in non-Western cultures (and probably some Western ones too). But if you don't see yourself being happy with whomever your relatives see as your match, don't get hitched. Or maybe Mom and Dad like the boyfriend you've chosen for yourself and are pressuring you to get engaged immediately because they're dying to throw you the wedding they've dreamed of planning. Nope, still not a good reason to head into matrimony. Only you and your guy can decide when you're ready.

He or she's loaded.
While it seems to work fine for the current Mrs. Trump, money only takes a marriage so far. Yes, there is a lot to be said about leading a comfortable life, yet if you're not living it with someone you love, what's the point?

You're worried you won't find anyone else.
You will.

Do you think any of the above are actually good reasons to exchange vows? Any other extraordinarily crappy ideas to get married?

 

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This article originally appeared on MeritalBliss.com. There's really only one good reason to get married: because you've found your soul mate, you know each other well enough and long enough to be po...
This article originally appeared on MeritalBliss.com. There's really only one good reason to get married: because you've found your soul mate, you know each other well enough and long enough to be po...
 
 
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Corinna Carpenter
Obama makes me vomit
10:13 PM on 05/05/2012
They forgot getting married out of desperation.

I highly doubt I will EVER get married. I'm going to be 36 in June and I ain't getting any younger.

I've never had a serious boyfrend,either. :(
09:46 PM on 05/05/2012
I met my wife, 3 months later we were married. 38 years later were still to gether and doing almost as good as young love. Getting old sucks. But we still like to kiss in the kitchen. Why in the kitchen I don't know maybe because their's no TV in the kitchen.
08:28 PM on 05/05/2012
My sister married her live-in boyfriend because our grandparents were older and grandmother and grandmama wanted to see sister married. That was 21 years ago this year - and they're still together, and happy. If you know you will eventually, that this is the person for you, marrying because your family wants you to isn't a bad thing.
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JiveNJingle
Don't be a skvaddernosse...
08:17 PM on 05/05/2012
Oh, here's one everyone seems to have forgotten: Facing deportation/expiration of visa/citizenship. And that's not even a reason anymore to obtain citizenship, marriage. Too bad some people are too gullible to know this.
chrissf4529
your opinion is as valid as mine
07:37 PM on 05/05/2012
I always say we get married to late in the relationship. Get engaged (usually) at the top of the "Love o meter", the act of planning a wedding gives you insight into your future spouse. Usually, not good insight. By the time you get married, the doubt has set in.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jgamble28
ya never know.
06:10 PM on 05/05/2012
I got married thinking he would change for me. That's the biggest lie I ever told myself and of course the marriage failed.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Clara B Grimes
Honey I told you, trust me I'm too expensive for u
07:32 PM on 05/05/2012
You did not say what you wanted him to change, no matter, it's none of our business. But, I married a Sailor, no money, (the man was po) not poor but po, he lived aboard the ship etc, etc etc. I married for love, nothing but plain old love and my bringing up background rubbed off on my husband. Together we built a mansion, a beautiful life. I only knew him for 6 months. But I knew he was the man I wanted to marry. He gone now (RIP honey) but I love him today the same as I did the first time I met him. Yes it was instant love. We were married for 38 wonderful years.
08:50 PM on 05/05/2012
Wow. You were truly blessed.
05:18 PM on 05/05/2012
8. He's going off to war - Example: You've only known each other for 6 months before that and most of your new knowledge is passionate love through letters and calls.
9. You are more in love with him than he is with you.
10. Your church has forbidden sex before marriage and you are at the point that the only thing left, if you follow your religion, is to marry.
11. You wonder if you have enough in common (He loves to watch TV and you'd rather be outside).
12. He comes from a family with an exceptional amount of baggage, he hasn't resolved his hurt, and you're sole purpose in life is just to show him how happy life can be.

I'll get back to you when I think of more.
07:13 PM on 05/05/2012
13. You just really want a poofy dress and a big wedding and don't care who it's with.
14. You want someone to support you financially (along the lines of the "loaded" excuse.
15. You're worried that if you don't you'll become an "old maid".

Too many people want the benefits but don't spend enough time thinking about the fact that if it isn't the right person, it is not going to work out.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Bob Schwend
Retired know it all....sort of
05:15 PM on 05/05/2012
Worst reason in the world to get married is if she's pg. You will never know it's your child unless you have a DNA done.
Run like a rabbit if this happens to you. And don't look back.
07:25 PM on 05/05/2012
If you don't know if its yours or not it wouldnt be a very sound/solid relationship in the first place. But at the same time its sad that when some women in relationships do get preg. that their man wants to deny it until a DNA test...like their sperm just can't possibly be responsible. lol
05:11 PM on 05/05/2012
I was once a Tax Write Off..... He was paying to much for taxes filing single, so we got married.
I really don't recommend this as the marriage lasted 9 months.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Fagen44
04:49 PM on 05/05/2012
IMO, the very worst reason for getting married is thinking your relationship will get better because you are married. If you and your mate have issues before you marry, getting hitched does not make them go away or get resolved! My Step Daughter is a typical example of this and I warned her not to get married and that Problems along with Baggage does not disappear when you get Married but only gets worse! After 4 years, it's over!
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qsfoxx
still chasing the wascally wabbit...
04:34 PM on 05/05/2012
It takes just the signing of a few papers to get committed. Just like marriage. lol
06:01 PM on 05/05/2012
Truer words have never been spoken!
04:27 PM on 05/05/2012
"You should be commited to someone before you marry them." ???
It says. It's nonsensical, it's the marriage that creates the commitment.
I would say being pregnant is one of the best reasons to get married.
Marriage is not about love, or "soul mate" or "best friends", its more about compatibility and market value, and stability and so on.
08:19 PM on 05/04/2012
"You don't need to be committed to someone to have sex that ends up creating a person."

This sounds so sad to me.
07:33 PM on 05/05/2012
I agree. I guess times have changed.
08:53 PM on 05/05/2012
I don't think times have changed in regards to creating a person - this is the way biology has worked since the first humans walked the earth. Its the relationship part that has evolved and continues to evolve.
05:53 PM on 05/04/2012
#4 had a different twist for me-instead of my married friends trying to set me up with someone, they flat-out ABANDONED me because I was still single! Some friends, huh?

It's not so bad when just one or two of your friends are married, but when you're the last one in the group with a naked ring finger and they leave you in the dust like that, your social life REALLY sucks.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
kmc528
I ALWAYS have an opinion....
07:02 PM on 05/05/2012
Yep. Even though I have no reputation as a man-stealer, my married friends didn't want an attractive single woman around their husbands. I figure they'll want to renew the friendship once I'm safely married and off the market.
02:14 PM on 05/04/2012
I'm going to disagree with #3. Children need the support of a real, full family. If your partner isn't a ruggie, abusive, or addictive, head on over to city hall for your license once you find the two of you are pregnant. It's too irresponsible otherwise.
02:51 PM on 05/04/2012
Nope, children need the support of a real family, not one put together to look right. If one or both of the equation is not going to be happy and want to be there, the divorcing part will be heartbreaking to the child.