Since I began my project in self-indulgence/examination of the Hebrew Male, many people have begun using the site (hooray!) and have asked for my advice on how to prepare to "break the seal" of their first JDate.
Most of these tips go for first dates in general, but some are also JSpecific.
1. Be yourself.
Well, that's sort of a duh. And probably the most cliche thing I could ever say. But there is an even bigger reason behind this - if you lie, it's just going to screw you over, for a few reasons. One, you probably have friends in common, and the friend may or may not tell your date that you actually didn't win Whale Watcher of the Year 2009 in a daring day at sea in Sitka. Two, if you actually like this person, you're going to have to remember your lies, which is harder to keep track of than telling the embarrassing truth ("I know I said I used to date Ezra Koenig at Columbia but I was actually lying to impress you.")
That admission of truth can go one of two ways: A) "I'm glad you told me the truth, and I don't want you to lie to me again, let's make jbabies," B) ::tilapia slap::
2. Wear something you feel confident in.
This goes more for chicks than guys because most of the time guys couldn't care less (well thats mostly DC-specific. Lets be real -- boys in New York are far better dressed and care more about appearance than boys in DC. Seersucker is not a fashion statement, gents. And maybe look like you at least showered. And no your Senate badge isn't impressing me. And NO on the flip flops.)
Girls - pick an outfit you feel sexy and yourself in. Don't try too hard to look like a floozy, guys can tell immediately. If you can't think of anything, ask a good friend to remember an outfit they liked. Or if you're really grasping for straws, look through old Facebook pictures of yourself for a choice ensemble that screams, "I'm stable, dateable, awesome, and only mildy neurotic." Just don't let your coworkers catch you clicking through pictures of yourself.
3. Do your research
It kills a lot of awkward silence to re-read a person's profile before you go on a date with them, if for no other reason than you have no recollection if they were the one who loves MGMT, rides a scooter, or has two parakeets. When you're talking to a lot of people it can be hard to remember the nitty gritty. Maybe even read through messages or something. Learn from me, I called a date by the wrong name because I got confused. WHOOPS.
4. Think of things to talk about
This seems silly but sometimes when you're actually there in the moment and sitting across from this boy who DEFINITELY lied about his height and is BY NO MEANS as cute as he pretended to be, your mind can go blank. Maybe think of some things you like to talk about/know about, but that DOES NOT INCLUDE THE FOLLOWING:
a. Your parents. I once went out with a grad student when I was in college and began a sentence with, "My Mom." Cringe.
b. Getting married and making babies. you seem like a stalker.
c. Talking about JDate. Its awkward enough as is.
d. That time you partied too hard and vomited in the AEPi bathroom and are now known as "Chunks." Self-explanatory.
e. Your favorite food, lettuce. I don't care if youre doing that diet when you can only drink cayenne pepper and water for 20 days.
f. All the other dates you go on. You may think this makes you sound cool. It does not.
5. Pick a location you're familiar with. Maybe even tell a friend. And just don't go meet someone with the username CManson.
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