In Honor of July 4, I Save the American Economy

Watch me save the economy from outsourcing and the Middle East oil crisis in one fell swoop. Today in the business section of the NYT is a piece about the trend toward Brown Power: the ultimate renewable source of fuel. They're referring to the "steady stream of manure" produced by cows, hogs and turkeys, which they are suddenly calling "one of natures richest sources of...natural gas." Apparently through new technology, which they call "anaerobic digestion" it is now easy to "wrest energy from excrement" that "provides pipeline-quality gas and reduces carbon emissions." This is all according to "AgStar, a federal program that promotes the conversion of manure to energy."

The way this thing works is that farmers buy these "digester" units, process the manure that is building up all around them anyway, and voila! They are suddenly in possession of a private supply of gas, which they can use for their own purposes or sell.

This all sounds so sensible and hopeful! Kind of a stinky path to a bright tomorrow, with the only limitation being that to become your own gas supplier requires a stable full of cows, turkeys and hogs. Or does it?

That is where I plan to intercede on behalf of cash-strapped individuals everywhere who, like me, can't believe they have to spend forty bucks to fill up the car. Just wait until I get a hold of those AgStar guys and sit them down and show them some statistics about who else on this planet is producing a steady stream of manure.