Your children are not your excuses for NOT accomplishing your goals -- they are the reason TO accomplish your goals.
I've personally coached hundreds of mothers over the last ten years with navigating themselves, getting lost in motherhood, trying to reset their own purpose, and finding a sweet spot in motherhood to reduce overwhelm. I've worked with clients who have enviable lives on the outside including beautiful homes, the white picket fence and the dog, a family that they love and spouse who is supportive but at times even having it all doesn't fill the void that happens when the tipping point of home and work, extracurricular, community demands leaves you feeling drained day after day without any sign of an end in sight.
Additionally, I work with women who have extraordinary circumstances including nurturing their children who have special needs like autism, cancer, cerebral palsy, adhd and spouses who are battling illnesses and addictions of alcohol or chronic affairs who have lost themselves at the time because of overwhelming stress and chronic life disruptions including hospital visits, excessive medication schedules or the worry that comes along with lack of trust in any relationship.
The situations that I see each day I call the "real mama drama" and at some point in motherhood we all have to combat something. It might include a job or business loss, excessive weight gain and a loss of self-love, or being surrounded by a community that does nothing to fuel you or simply being lost in motherhood. It's true for us all.
The truth is that I can relate to so many of the circumstances that many of my clients have experienced. Over the last seventeen years I've experienced the overwhelm that happens whenever I have grown my family and the new routines and challenges that result of having more responsibility and less time. I've experienced the triumphs of growing two awesome businesses and the crushing pressure of losing 6 figure accounts because of losing bids. I've experienced being the spouse who had to figure out how to honor her dreams while supporting her spouse who was on dialysis as a result of kidney failure for 5 years. I've struggled with fighting for time for myself as a means to stay sane when life isn't.
Motherhood is hard and rewarding. That is the truth. Enjoying the journey has everything to do with how you manage the obstacles that are in front of you and the systems that you put in place to support your life. Fortunately, I also get to experience the results that occur when my clients invest and commit to themselves, their family and their dreams. They are happier because:
1. Overwhelm does not have to be a lifestyle that we choose.
The only way out of overwhelm is to make the highest and best baby step that will lead you in a better position than you started each day. It doesn't matter what is in your way, all you have is your power in this moment to choose powerfully for yourself.
2. Staying stuck is a choice.
I whine occasionally just because I'm human but I understand that in order for my life to change, I've got to want it too. If you find that your situation is not changing from day to day then it is likely that being stuck has become your way of life. You have accepted your circumstances as normal, and as a result the actions that you are currently taking support your newly embraced lifestyle. Change your choices and you will shift your results.
3. Be honest with yourself.
Illusion isn't real. This sounds obvious, but so many of us are stuck in our "should and ought to's." We look at our lives and think "I have everything including a loving family, beautiful home, great job and I should be happy." Personally, I should be a size six but I am not. Well, maybe one day. I'm not, because I like wine and cake. That is honest. Get real with yourself about what truly brings you joy, fulfillment or sadness.
Failure to be honest with yourself prevents you from being able to create systems for your happiness and overwhelm. What keeps so many of my clients from growing their lives is a failure to realistically trust what they feel no matter what. Trust your gut.
4. Get the support that you need
I have to admit that I create amazing results when I have accountability in my life. This is true for most of us. If you find that your excuses have become your reason why you are not moving forward consider getting a mentor, coach or join a support group that can support you with seeing what is possible and the process of designing a life that you can love again. The most successful people in the world are accountable to a community to achieve their results. This is a winning formula which is true in motherhood also.
I decided to write this post today because so much of the realities of motherhood seen today in the media don't highlight the silent struggles that most moms are dealing with every day. Hollywood is interested in the portrayal of sensational drama and if you are mom dealing with what I've mention above you never see your realities discussed, shared or solutions that can help you right now. Every day I experience the "real mama drama" and this is what it look like. I hope that something I have shared will support you in your journey today. Please be a great friend and send this article to another mom to let her know that she is not alone. Mama drama is real.
Mia is a strategy coach for moms. Mia Redrick, The Mom Strategist mentor, entrepreneur, life-style brand and a best-selling author of Time for Mom-Me:5 Essential Strategies for A Mother's Self-Care,Time for Mom-Me: 365 Daily Strategies for a Mother's Self-Care empowers moms to live fully.
She has worked as a nationally syndicated segment host on the Emmy nominated show America Now. Mia is an expert that teaches "how to" strategize the demands of motherhood and still "rock your life and business". She believes that when moms are fulfilled they are better mothers. Additionally, she has been seen coaching clients live on Emmy award winning The New Ricki Lake Show teaching America how any overwhelmed family can reclaim order and love. Mia's goal is to support one million of moms with reclaiming their lives.
Want to know more? Visit miaredrick.com to grab the free download of my book Time for Mom-me: 5 Essential Strategies for A Mother's Self-care.