Campaign Comedy Corner

WHO'S ON FIRST?

Senator McCain is paying close attention to who might be his potential running mates on the Republican ticket. He's trying to select someone for the Vice Presidential slot as a running mate that's a sure winner. After all, McCain is no youngster anymore! And one of the two on the ticket has got to live out the first term, right? And who are all the pundits talking about?

Well, there's Governor Charlie Crist of Florida, a really popular guy. He's handsome, and the experts say McCain sure could use the State of Florida to win. But if McCain does select Charlie Crist as his running mate, some voters will want to ask some tough questions about those McCain-Crist bumper stickers. Like "So, why is Jesus only second on the ticket?"

COME FLY WITH ME!

Some of the political experts say Senator McCain may have 2 strikes against him. When he graduated from Annapolis, there were 899 Midshipmen in his class. Ensign John McCain graduated 894th ---- 5th from the bottom. Next, when he became a Navy jet pilot, you're normally allowed to ditch just one of those multi-million dollar jets in the drink. McCain put, count 'em, 3 of them into the drink. Even by an average accountant's reckoning, and let's assume that the CPA is a Republican, that's up to 100 million tax payer bucks down the drain. But no matter how you slice it, one thing's for sure: if Senator McCain doesn't make it to the White House, he sure won't be flying for American Airlines.