THE BLOG
09/24/2013 06:06 pm ET Updated Nov 24, 2013

Ask Michael Cohen: How to Fall Ahead

I had an outrageous summer and just what the doctor ordered -- a lot of sex, except I happened to really fall for one of the guys. I didn't think I would and I tried to put him in that summer fling box. He reluctantly accepted that. Now that I'm back in the city, I can't stop thinking about him. What should I do? Jonathan, New York City.

First of all, I want your doctors Rx pad. Mine told me the opposite, take the summer for yourself. I am now ambidextrous. But anyway, this is one of the easiest questions I have answered in a while. You should call him and tell him just what you told me -- you can't stop thinking about him. That's always a sweet compliment and I'm sure no matter how he feels about you, he'll be flattered. Suggest you get together but instead of making it just about sex, grab a cocktail and catch up.

While most of my colleagues took their summer Fridays off, I spent a majority of mine working because our company was in the midst of a major acquisition and taking my laptop and files to the Berkshires was just too much. Now that all that is over, I would like to ask for a promotion and and/or bonus. What should I do? Eric S, New York City

There is one side of me that thinks your higher ups should have noticed this and either alluded to some sort of something for your endeavors or they are downright oblivious. That's neither here nor there, so let's work with this premise -- 'if you don't ask -- you don't get.' Plotting out your case is very simple -- show them the amount of hours you invested and the results. With that complete, ask for your promotion and your bonus. Should they not respond, add this to your resume and find yourself a good head hunter.

I know that most people usually stay thin in the summer, but I think all those barbeques had the opposite effect on me -- I gained about twenty pounds. Now, I feel terribly overweight and the skinny bitches I work with in PR tell me if I put my mind to it I could loose it. Easy to say when you are already skinny. I've been rationalizing that Fall is here and maybe I can cover it up. I'm just not into having to diet now. Rachel, New York City

You think they had the opposite effect on you? Unfortunately, the scale doesn't lie. Let's loose the weight but don't put yourself under more stress with the 'diet' word. I lost 15 pounds and here is how I did it. I cut my portion size, drank more water and cut out the wine. I sprinkled it with 30 minutes of cardio every other day. I mean, seriously, is that so hard? As for that Fall cover up idea, stop with the excuses and as far as those skinny bitches go, maybe they should eat more than a small bowl of lettuce every day.

I am really falling for my girlfriend and I want to propose. Is it too cheesy to get on one knee and ask her to marry me? Name Withheld, Los Angeles

There is nothing better than a man on his knees. Sorry, I had to. Of course it's cheesy, but in this case cheesy works. It's a once in a lifetime moment and one of those things you just got to go for. She'll love it. #Mazel

This column is dedicated to my friend, Mark Fox, who inspired me to be better.

Have questions? I have answers. Leave a comment below or email me at mcnewyorkcity@gmail.com

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