I have a childhood friend that a few years ago divorced her husband and since then hasn't dated. She's in her late 30s and becoming very spinster like. Along with that she's become highly judgmental of everyone and just about everything and is not the best dinner party guest at my regular soirees. Other friends and family are beginning to hate her and so am I. How do I handle feeling good about this friendship and have a once-vibrant BFF stop from becoming a lonely bitch? Tara S, New York City
I have just the cure. Get your friend laid and have an old school kind of night. Invite her over like it was one of your usual dinner parties, except when she gets there, you usher her straight to an awaiting car service, do some Patron shots, feverishly pop a bottle of champagne, plug in your iPod and put on some really good old school jams, maybe Talking Heads, "Burning Down the House," follow it up with some Prince "I Wanna Be Your Lover," and some "Holiday" from Madonna and you'll get into the groove.
Venture to a trendy hot spot where you've already taken care of "getting in," and if she spews negativity about the pretty, fabulous and privileged, combat it with another drink, dancing and flirting with guys. Yeah, you may have to be that Kate Hudson-like girl winking at guys and whispering in their ear that your friend is a caged animal ready to jump barbed wire.
My point is, I think your friend is losing some of her soul. Instead of breaking her down and telling her everything she's doing is wrong, try to bring her back to life. A night out like this may be just the dusting her cobwebs are begging for. Now, if this fails and she's still Debbie Downer, write me back and I'll roll out phase two which won't be so nice.
I'm going to keep this simple. I just had a baby. I don't feel sexy. I want to feel good again. Any ideas? Lori S, Short Hills, New Jersey
Oh yes, honey. New shoes. Something sexy, something sweet and with a fabulous heel. I am loving lace pumps right now.
Okay, now that I got the frivolous out of the way, there are a few ways to get back to feeling fabulous. You need an hour a day for yourself. Period. Do whatever you want with it. While I don't suffer from any post-baby drama, I do kill my personal anxiety with an iPod full of music that reminds me of good old times, and I take a healthy jog where I detach from the world. This may work for you -- because I have a feeling those pregnancy yoga classes may have gotten to you.
Get back to a serious beauty routine. Get your hair done and your nails did every single Friday. Try changing your nail color and do something with your hair that isn't so mommy and me -- just whatever you do stay away from looking like Kate Gosselin -- she looks like a freak.
Included in this beauty regime must be a new scent that makes you feel downright sexy, and that's anything Tom Ford.
Finally, take a hot bubble bath and take along a waterproof Rabbit (not the one with ears, honey), and you'll be set.
My girlfriend and I used to have crazy amounts of sex but lately she doesn't even want to be bothered with me. I accused her of screwing someone else but she denied it, and now she's pissed at me. I don't know how to handle this situation. If my girlfriend isn't cheating on me, why would she stop wanting to have sex? Ryan K, New Jersey
Let's get something out of the way really fast. When someone stops having sex with you, it means they're sleeping with someone else or they have one foot out the door. So unless she's suffered major head drama, you might want to consider what's next.
Have you tried asking her why her libido has changed, without accusing her of anything? Try that, and do yourself a favor and actually listen to her answer. At that point, you will be having either one of two conversations -- the departing one or "let's work it out baby." If you do the latter then my only advice is pay attention to your instincts and keep a watchful eye over her day-to-day habits -- because when someone breaks a routine, there is usually a reason (wink, wink).
If it's over, do what those other Jerseyites do: G.T.L. The gym will make you feel good and release the tension; a tan never hurt anybody and clean laundry helps you keep a clear head. For real.
Need style advice? Ask me a question at askmichaelcohen.com or in the comments section here.