My office had a Memorial Day party for the summer kickoff of half-day Fridays. We all got pretty wasted and after the event my co-worker and I went back to my house and had sex. Now, when I see him, he pretends nothing happened. I tried to talk to him about that night and he tells me he is straight and would appreciate if I respected his privacy. I am feeling confused, frustrated and weird about what happened. How should I handle it? Name and City, Withheld
Oh yeah, you're co-worker is straight -- I think it's more like straight to his knees. Here is how I look at the situation -- you got drunk, had sex and now you're all caught up with the tedious question, is he or isn't he? At this point, it doesn't matter because he already shut you down and you shouldn't care about the answer. When you see him in the office walk on by as if nothing happened and respect his privacy, a practice you should extend across the board. Kiss and tell is so sixth grade. The next time your office throws a party lay off the liquor unless, of course, you make these decisions sober, which is even more frightening.
I'm in a really crazy situation. My boss is having an affair with another woman in the office. I know everything because I book hotel rooms for him in the middle of the day; his expense reports for dinners and entertaining have doubled and she comes to his office where they are behind closed doors, sometimes for close to an hour. I'm also doing less office work and more personal work. I'm very loyal but at this point, what do you think I should do?. Name and City Withheld
Uncomfortable? You're lucky -- you're doing less boring office work and if I were in your shoes, I'd be enjoying not having anyone on top of me (well, at least in this scenario). Here's the thing -- you're doing your job which is about being his assistant even if the scope of work is uh, a bit different. Mind your own business, don't gossip about it and save the human resources drama because it could easily blow up in your face. Don't be a whistle blower, it's not like you have some secret revelations about the government spying on Verizon customers. By the sound of your question, I think you would be well suited at another organization.
For about four months I've been playing coy with another doctor who is always flirting with me. The situation has gotten to the point where it's causing gossip among the nurses. When he comes around, I admit I do get a rush. Is it worthwhile to pursue this or am I crossing the work and personal line?
Kelly K, Chicago
Honey, you've already crossed the line with this 'rush' you speak of. The question is how much further do you want it to go? There is nothing wrong with having your own "McDreamy" but sometimes being the operative word here, dreaming is more fun than reality. On the other hand, if you pursue this, it could lead to some romps in the janitor's closet and become a lot more fodder for the gossip mill -- not professional. But all jokes aside, I don't feel you should pursue this. You'll more than likely get highly distracted and I think you should spend hospital time attending to your patients' needs, not the doctor's.
I'm a 22-year-old woman. I began to date a co-worker within two months after being hired and although I quit, we are still intimate. The problem is he wants our relationship to be physical and nothing else. I've explained to him I want him to consider me his girlfriend and all he does is give me the pros and cons of the whole situation -- oddly enough, sometimes I agree with him. Am I too caught up in having the title and just stick with what I have? Mariaelva Z, City Withheld
Where is your self-respect? I mean, seriously honey, get it together. I do realize you are only 22 and may not have experience dating a**holes of this nature. In this scenario, you only have two decisions to make: walk away now and find yourself a guy that doesn't look at relationships with a pro and con list and do what so many of us do -- just keep this guy as a f**k buddy if you want to or stay in this relationship without much hope of it becoming anything more. I also have two more tips - one is to start playing the role of being a little hard to get and not the needy chick ( it's always alluring for a guy) and the other is to stop
screwing your co-workers.