I Went to an America-Themed Wedding

I went to an America-themed wedding last weekend.

My friend--who asked not to be put into this article--has an uncle who's very, very, very conservative. He's a firefighter, he hates seeing gay dudes kiss at Six Flags, that sort of thing. And for his third wedding, he decided to switch things up and make it an outdoor, America-themed wedding. I was asked to go with the friend for support.

And, no, it wasn't a July 4th party: