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Michael F. Jacobson

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Trashables: Oscar Mayer's Lunchables Are Nasty -- But the Message to Kids Is Worse

Posted: 12/21/11 04:15 PM ET

Packing a reasonably nutritious school lunch -- a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread, say, plus a sliced orange and a carton of milk (lowfat with an ice pack) -- doesn't have to take a lot of time. But Americans love saving time almost as much as they enjoy saving money. So the allure of Oscar Mayer's Lunchables to today's harried parents is obvious enough. Put a bunch of cardboard or plastic boxes in the grocery cart and you don't have to give lunch another thought.

But that convenience comes at the expense of children's health. The best Lunchables are only better than any other because they are smaller, thereby doing less damage. Most of them are based on some combination of fatty meat, cheese and refined white flour, plus synthetic drinks and snacks.

The meat in Lunchables is so thoroughly processed that one is tempted to put the specified meat in ironic quotation marks:

  • The "ham" can't be described with that one word alone, but is rather "chopped and formed" and pumped full of water and preservatives.
  • The "bologna," according to the ingredients list, required part of one of its component animals to be "mechanically separated" from some other part of the animal.
  • The "100 percent turkey" turns out to be something less than that, what with the added water, potassium lactate, modified corn starch, salt, dextrose, carrageenan, sodium phosphates, sodium diacetate, sodium ascorbate, sodium nitrite, natural and artificial flavor and smoke flavor.
  • The "breads" and "crackers" and "pizza crusts" in Lunchables are primarily white, refined flour, plus some eye-crossingly long combination of oils, sugars, leaveners, conditioners, preservatives, colorings and flavorings. "Partially hydrogenated," a phrase that has become considerably hard to find in the supermarket, is still found on the ingredients lists of several Lunchables.

    The "deep dish pizza" makes Domino's look like haute cuisine. Start with a spongy, Frisbee-shaped piece of "crust," squirt in some ketchup-like sauce and then sprinkle on some shredded "mozzarella cheese product." Complete the project by implanting the five little pepperoni disks composed of pork, mechanically separated chicken and beef. And then eat the whole concoction cold. No crust, no melted cheese and not a pizza. While Oscar Mayer's non-ironic slogan states, "It doesn't get any better than this," one is tempted to substitute the word "grosser" for "better."

    Nutritionally, Lunchables are generally too high in sodium. A typical elementary school-aged child should consume about 1,200 milligrams of sodium per day. But Ham + Swiss with Crackers variety Lunchables, for instance, contain 1,130 milligrams of sodium (from the salty ham, cheese and crackers), nearly an entire day's worth. Various other varieties contain upwards of 800 milligrams of sodium.

    Many Lunchables provide a disproportionately large share of a child's daily saturated fat quota. Half a dozen of the three dozen or so Lunchables, such as the Ham + Swiss with Crackers and the Turkey + Cheddar with Crackers varieties, have at least half a day's worth of saturated fat.

    Though a few Lunchables now come with little tubs of cubed fruit (hooray, Oscar! -- even though the mandarin oranges were grown in China and packed in Thailand), the great majority come with junky "treats." Lunchables Deep Dish Pizza with Pepperoni includes Mini Cheese Nips and Chewy Chips Ahoy! Cookies. The "berry snacks" in a couple of Lunchables consist almost entirely of sugars that are artificially flavored and then colored with the potentially harmful artificial Red 40 dye. The snack contains more citric acid than the microscopic amount of concentrated pear juice (the closest thing to a berry in the product).

    Lunchables must be selling like hotcakes (note to Oscar: please don't market a hotcake variety!) or there wouldn't be so many varieties. They all could be made healthier by cutting the salt, using more whole grains, including real meat and poultry and replacing the candies and cookies with apple slices, carrot sticks, a sprig of grapes and raisins. But the company tells me that it's doing as good a job as circumstances permit -- "circumstances" being that most healthier ingredients don't have the necessary months-long shelf life, and, basically, kids like Cheese Nips more than carrots. If the only Lunchables that Oscar Mayer can market are unhealthy, so be it.

    If a big advantage of Lunchables is that they require little thought on the part of parents, a big downside is that they teach children that food shouldn't require much thought, or that eating needn't be preceded by thinking. And that's what makes Oscar Mayer's cardboard-clad "meals" particularly tragic. Besides coarsening kids' palates, they teach kids that shrink-wrapped convenience is the norm, that taking the time to make a sandwich or peel some fruit is a problem that needs an industrial "solution" like Lunchables and that you don't have to think about what you eat at all.

     

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09:28 AM on 01/11/2012
All cold cuts have a list of questionable additives, whether lean turkey breast or fat laden bologna...few of us would even consider taking the time and possibly the additional cost to prepare fresh meats(that generally also have some additives) to be sliced for lunch sandwiches or bake fresh bread to avoid all the junk in typical sliced bread off the grocery store shelf.
02:25 PM on 12/26/2011
In my house, the primary diet rule is that, if it isn't good food for dogs, it probably isn't good for people. Can't imagine how many people send their kids off to school with these things who would never feed them to their dogs.
11:59 PM on 12/25/2011
"Packing a reasonably nutritious school lunch -- a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on whole wheat bread, say, plus a sliced orange and a carton of milk (lowfat with an ice pack) -- doesn't have to take a lot of time."

Seems healthy if it is 1960 and you are June Cleaver and don't know any better. Peanuts and peanut butter are a long way from healthy, containing lectins, potentially aflatoxin and other mycotoxins, and having unique ability to promote atherosclerosis. Wheat and especially whole wheat are increasingly linked to problems: elevated blood sugar, promotion of obesity, damage to intestinal mucosa via wheat germ agglutinin, provocation of innate and adaptive immunity via gluten and gliadin in a large segment of the population, promotion of autoimmune disease, and deleterious impact on intestinal barriers and the blood brain barrier via zonulin. The "jelly" likely contains high fructose corn syrup.

Why not take the time and spend the money to serve the child in question real foods that promote good health and do not promote obesity: grassfed meats, cold water fish, eggs, lots of nutritious vegetables, fresh fruits, and real nuts from trees such as almonds, pistachios, and walnuts, rather than moldy "nuts" dug up from underground that are actually beans. If this article is nutritional science, the science is long outdated.
ndtovent
Annoying wingnuts since 2001
01:08 PM on 12/26/2011
Ohhhhh such drama! I wouldn't serve my kid pbj every day, but 2 or 3 times a week is ok. You can find healthier pb's now and healthier jellies than the standard grocery store fare..... And what's wrong with the sliced orange or the lowfat milk? And peanuts are healthy foods, which can be purchased raw/in-shell and toasted or roasted at home (I do this).

I can see eliminating these foods if the child has food allergies, but for those who don't, it's not a problem. while I agree with you in making sure your kids are eating real, whole or natural foods most of the time, I can think of much worse food combos than pbj w/sliced oranges.
08:22 PM on 12/28/2011
hence why the author wrote "reasonably nutritious school lunch." It is hard to ask many parents to do much more than that!
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jandos
Realistically optimistic
04:15 PM on 12/23/2011
I couldn't agree more! I bought these for my kids twice as a treat and I was horrified when I read the label on the back. The fat and the sodium alone is frightening! With all the information available to parents today, I'm shocked that anyone would consistently serve these to their kids.
02:43 PM on 12/23/2011
I remember wanting these sooo badly as a child, a lot of my classmates came with these and a package of Dunkaroos for lunch. I was so envious until my mom finally bought me one and I had to eat slimy cold "ham type product" overly salted cheese cubes and stale crackers. I don't remember ever asking for one again after my first Lunchables experience!
Randybostonterrier
Calling Republicans down on their BS
05:07 AM on 12/23/2011
Since I wasn't dumped in daycare my Mom actually made lunch so the Lunchables I see on the grocery shelves are gross in my opinion.
04:48 PM on 12/22/2011
It's easy to criticize "Ernest Goes to Camp" for not being as good a film as "Gone With the Wind", but you have to realize that it never intended to be as a good, and it never claimed that it was. Processed, convenient foods are not designed to replace the succulent stir fry that you make at home using the fresh organic grains & vegetables that you bought at the local farmers market. Packaged foods are meant to give you sustenance when you don't have the energy or time to construct a feast from scratch. So cut 'em some slack, I say. If they were really dissatisfying their consumers, they wouldn't still be in business after all these years.
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Laura Kumin
01:30 PM on 12/22/2011
When my kids were little (eons ago), they begged for Lunchables. They had seen other kids eating the and were sure the plastic food in plastic packages must be wonderful. So I bought Lunchables and they ate them once - or at least took them to school. They came home with tales of how terrible the food was, the tiny portions (check out the cheese and crackers sometime), and went back happily to home-prepared food, cut up fruit and veggies and similar delights.
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Lily P
Sofa King Awesome!
09:12 AM on 12/22/2011
That's nasty.
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beerbagger
12-pack of genius
08:01 AM on 12/22/2011
Food is a product of the beautiful miracle planet we inhabit that creates life for us to maintain our pathetic existence...

How our government can protect and enable big agri-business to destroy our food right in our faces is disgusting!!!
10:40 PM on 12/21/2011
I wouldn't serve these laughables to anybody, espcially not my kids. If my mother had tried to tell me to eat these pseudo food products for lunch I would have rebelled big time. These are pathetic imitations of edible food. And they are incredibly expensive for tasting so awful, about $5/pound last time I looked. I wondered who ate these awful things. Based on some local prices last week I can make and serve a meal including 4 ounces of (grilled or baked beef sirloin, pork sirloin, roast beef, white or dark meat of chicken, turkey, ham), a steamed or baked potato or whole wheat bread or yellow squash or brown rice, a salad including carrot, Romaine lettace, cucumber and tomato and a piece of fruit and a cup of milk. And these things can be arranged differently. It could be a steak sandwich with lettace and tomato with carrots and cucumber on the side with an apple, orange, pear, plum, cherries, appricots etc as the seasons change. I mean seriously, any child that has become used to eating real food freshly prepared would find these packaged foods almost inedible.
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No death panels
There's no man with a trumpet. Only me.
08:55 PM on 12/21/2011
One of my kids lived on the nachos & cheese Lunchables for about 3 years. She's on the cross-country team now and beats up kids who ate PB&J sandwiches.
12:15 PM on 12/22/2011
Maybe all that aggression can be attributed to all those chemicals.
05:41 PM on 12/21/2011
Even the much-maligned school lunches offer more fresh fruit and veggies these days.
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jandos
Realistically optimistic
04:18 PM on 12/23/2011
Very true - it's nice to see what my kids are offered for school lunches. From time to time I'm disappointed, but I see them receiving carrots, hard boiled eggs, fruit, etc. I love that the meals are progressively getting better, but I do wish from time to time they'd get the great chocolate cake with vanilla frosting that we were served when I was kids. It was delicious!