Like pornography, an unnecessary movie remake is hard to define - but you know it when you see it. A remake of Citizen Kane would be ludicrous. So would a remake of Casablanca. (Though that hasn't stopped them from trying to spin off not one but two TV series based on that classic wartime romance.)
On the other hand, no one is going to top Errol Flynn's The Adventures of Robin Hood, but that character is so iconic it seems perfectly natural for each generation to give it a shot. Same with Superman, Sherlock Holmes and Tarzan - great figures in pop culture are just irresistible. If the original had a clever premise but didn't really deliver - think Ocean's 11 or The Thomas Crown Affair - you've got another reason to green light a remake.
Then there's the perfect little movie that resists any idiotic idea to improve or update it. The classic, trim little western 3:10 To Yuma is a perfect example. The 1957 original ($19.94; Sony) is as tight as a drum, with Glenn Ford never better as the quietly menacing outlaw and Van Helfin (never particularly good any other time) just perfect as the stolid rancher who steps in to guard the bad guy and shepherd him to the train station and eventual justice.
Fifty years later, Russell Crowe and Christian Bale reprise those roles ($29.95; Lionsgate). The movie is beefed up with a little more travel, a little more violence and a little more unnecessary stabs at psychological depth. Anyone who hasn't seen the original might think it's fine. But those who have can't help but think it's utterly pointless. Why remake a brilliant, specific, nigh on perfect movie that simply couldn't be improved on?
Probably no one has defended The Invasion ($28.98; Warner Bros.), the Nicole Kidman and Daniel Craig remake of Invasion Of The Body Snatchers out Tuesday. I have friends who really like the 1978 remake by director Philip Kaufman. But even before I saw the original, I found that version a little slow and unconvincing, even though the premise of "pod people" appealed to my inner Twilight Zone geek.
Then I saw the 1956 original, which I'd always heard was a great B movie, a great low budget sci-fi flick, a great metaphor for the McCarthy witch hunts and/or Communism itself, a great spin on Fifties conformity or take your pick. Forget all that. When I finally saw the original at a revival house, all I saw was a great, great movie. It's gripping, creepy, funny, utterly involving and with a dramatic ending that ranks among the most memorable in movie history. I'd gladly tackle a new Tarzan movie tomorrow and not worry in the least about comparisons with the past. But why would anyone want to remake a gem like this that's already perfect?
Also out: some boxed sets, including 4 By Agnes Varda ($99.95; Criterion), featuring Vagabond and Cleo From 5 to 7 along with loads of extras; The John Frankenheimer Collection ($39.98; MGM), a grab bag with one masterpiece (The Manchurian Candidate), one blast of fun (The Train), one decent courtroom drama (The Young Savages) and one good car chase (Ronin); two celebrations of straight-to-DVD franchises American Pie - The Threesome Pack ($39.98; Universal) and Bring It On - The Cheerbook Collection ($44.98; Universal) and hey, if you weren't buying and renting them, they wouldn't keep making 'em; Monty Python's Life Of Brian: The Immaculate Edition ($24.96; Sony), out Tuesday, a silly romp through religion ("Blessed are the cheese makers?") that only sounds offensive to people who haven't bothered to see it; Swamp Thing: The Series ($39.98; Shout), the surprisingly durable DC comic chararacter's transfer to TV (though it's hard not to miss Adrienne Barbeau); Strindberg's Miss Julie ($39.95; Criterion), in a 1951 Swedish version I'd never heard of but which is renowned; The Odd Couple: The Third Season ($38.99; Paramount), a sitcom that balances perfectly on the edge of silliness and repetition without ever losing sight of the genuine characters at the heart of it all; Make Room For Daddy Season 6 ($39.99; S'more), starring Danny Thomas in the tail-end of one of sitcoms's defining early hits; Lars Von Trier's The Kingdom Series Two ($29.99; Koch Lorber), a spooky, hospital-set supernatural drama (think Dark Shadows meets ER), which I find murky but some horror buffs absolutely love; The Rock's thoroughly unexpected switch to inoffensive family comedy is complete with the box office hit The Game Plan ($29.99; Disney); Galactica 1980 ($29.98; Universal), the jaw-droppingly awful attempt to reboot the original series by finding Earth; and Barney Miller: Second Season ($29.95; Sony), a sterling TV series that for many years was the one TV show that cops insisted got it right - forget Hill Street Blues and Homicide and Adam-12 and NYPD Blue, for the day-to-day life of a cop this charmer nailed it.
And here are my favorite movies of 2007:
1.The Assassination of Jesse James By The Coward Robert Ford
2.Lars and the Real Girl
3.Zodiac
4.The Wind That Shakes The Barley
5.There Will Be Blood
6.The Diving Bell and the Butterfly
7.L'Iceberg
8.Michael Clayton
9.Ratatouille
10. Once
11. The Host
12. This Is England
13. Superbad
14. Control
15. The Bourne Ultimatum
So what's your favorite remake? The most pointless?