Giving negative feedback to your boss is a delicate art. We all feel the need to give feedback to a superior now and again, but many of us shy away from it because we don't want to rock the boat. But the truth is, the ability to speak truth to power -- to give feedback to management -- is what often separates good employees or consultants (contractors, freelancers, 1099's, etc.) from great ones.
But before you launch into a tirade and dump out all of your frustrations on your boss, it's helpful to ask yourself four questions -- the same questions Sufi philosophers have taught people to ask themselves before speaking. They are called the Four Gates of Communication.
- Are these words truthful?
- Are they necessary/beneficial?
- Can it be said in a kind way?
- Is this the appropriate time?
If you can honestly answer yes to all four of these questions about the subject at hand, then you are probably ready to give constructive feedback to your boss. Answer no to anyone of these, and it might be best to wait.
Once you've passed each of the Four Gates, it is time to plan your approach to talking to your boss about whatever it is you feel they need to hear feedback on. At 10x Management, we encourage our freelance tech consultants to provide direct and constructive feedback to our customers (their clients or who they report to for any given project) using a simple process.
Before Your Meeting
- Do your homework. Before you even make an appointment to speak with your boss about the issue, make sure you do a self-assessment to determine your role in the problem. Have you distorted or misrepresented any facts? Have your emotions gotten the best of you? Is talking to your boss the right way to go about this? If this is a question of how you are being treated by him/her, take an honest look at your own behavior first.
During the Meeting
- Start off with assurances. Your boss might not have a clue about what's bothering you. Keep in mind bosses act defensively when they feel threatened in some way (example: They may feel like you're challenging their authority, competence or ability to manage a team). Put them at ease by starting off with something like, "I respect and understand your authority in this situation and I have a strong desire to build a positive working relationship with you." And then state your intention and what you'd like to achieve from this meeting. Ask him or her if they agree or would like to add anything.
After Your Meeting
- Be gracious and say thank you. Regardless of the meeting outcome, it's a classy gesture of professionalism.
Do you have other helpful tips for providing feedback up the food chain? We'd love to hear all about it in the comments section!
If you liked this article you might also enjoy reading Working with Freelancers - 4 Steps for Success.