Went to see the movie Trumbo at an actual movie theatre, and it got me wondering what the legendary, blacklisted 1950s-era screenwriter would think of today's Hollywood.
If all he'd seen were the previews for the films preceding the showing of his eponymous biopic, he might never have gone back to screenwriting.
The movies' story lines, in no particular order:
A military decision about whether to blow up a house containing two armed terrorists, complicated by the fact that a little girl playing outside the house would be killed.
A newspaper investigation into child abuse by Catholic priests.
A transgender "pioneer."
A cranky elderly woman who threatens to die, but doesn't, and at the end of the movie, probably does.
A Holocaust inmate who thinks he might be burying his own son.
A few billionaires who made a fortune while the rest of the country lost their homes.
Now, which of those films will you see on your next date night?
Answer: none of them.
Here's the problem. With the exception of maybe Star Wars, Hollywood has essentially stopped making stories that any sentient person would want to see.
Tell the truth. When you saw the list of Oscar-nominated films, did you see even one that made you want to make you go to a movie theater?
Of course not.
When I saw the foreign language nominated films, I nearly tore up my passport.
Now, the ticket to Trumbo cost exactly one dollar more than my monthly Netflix subscription, which is fabulous.
But going to a movie theater?
Is it worth it?
The theaters near me have put in big, comfy, reclining leather seats, but those seats don't make up for the lack of watchable movies.
My experience is that most multiplexes are shockingly underutilized. A lot of really nice leather reclining seats are exposed endlessly to a lot of crummy movies.
Is that furniture abuse?
Is the movie theater experience on its way out?
Or will they be like football stadiums, which are only used about a dozen times a year?
The stories Trumbo found attractive enough to write movies about - a boy at a bullfight (The Brave One), a couple in Italy (Roman Holiday) - hold universal appeal.
Love. Kids. Courage.
And they won Oscars.
This stuff today?
Why would I - or anyone - pay hard dollars to see entertainment-free movies when I can watch pretty much the same stories for free on Google News?
When I was in college in the 1970s, my Ancient Greek professor, Rachel Kitzinger, made the then-daring assertion that movies were the dominant mode of American creative expression of the 20th century.
Well, that century's long gone.
Am I saying that no good movies come out today?
There must be some. I have four kids and admittedly I don't get out much.
I'm saying that there's a paucity of imagination on the part of the people who create movies.
Somehow TV seems better. The Sopranos, The Office, and House Of Cards, just to name three things, are better than anything I've seen at the movies.
Kids are well served by Pixar and Disney with a few great movies a year. But what about adults?
What was the last great date night film?
Why is Hollywood obsessed with dysfunction, both personal and political?
Whatever happened to storytelling?
Decades ago, the great director Billy Wilder bemoaned the fact that audiences were more interested in "pectoral development than character development."
Well, we like looking at attractive people, that's for sure.
But we also like stories about people like us.
People who trying to have successful relationships.
Or raise kids in a crazy world.
Or discover meaning in life.
Or visit faraway places and have adventures and maybe learn something.
I don't care how comfy my nearby multiplex's reclining leather chair might be.
I won't pay to see a movie about terrorists, child abuse, Caitlin Jenner, dead Holocaust kids, or cranky old ladies who won't die and finally do.
And I'll bet Dalton Trumbo, bless his cranky, Commie heart, would have felt exactly the same way.
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