09/03/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Olbermann-O'Reilly: Détente We Don't Want

A sandbox brawl between Keith and Bill
Has left their parents feeling ill
They want their boys to get along
Yet the ultimate result is quite wrong

There has been some mutual bashing
It's gone beyond ideological clashing
The "vicious smear merchant" vs. "Bill-O the Clown"
Precipitating a collective corporate frown

In their respective corners at eight each night
Ringside we sit as they engage in this fight
Cringing as we watch Bill confabulate
Keith's erudite analysis we await

O'Reilly charged Zucker with "ruining" NBC
And blamed the Iraq war on "the likes of Jeffrey" of G.E.
Publishing Immelt's email address
Creating for the bosses a bit of stress

On The Factor, Bill played dolls with Mr. Beck
Who clearly is not playing with a full deck
What a nice time they shared with Barbie and Ken
Hey, we're not the ones who say those toys aren't for men

(Another note about our friend Glenn
A scene worthy of Jon's "moment of Zen"
Obama is "a racist," he told Kilmeade of Fox & Friends
Evidently his insanity just never ends)

Countdown's host has oft exposed his bête noire
With O'Reilly he can so expertly spar
Keith called him on the carpet for the "baby killer" hype
Adeptly attacking him for such tripe

His stated "goal": to get The Clown "off the air"
Bill is "blindly irresponsible" and for truth he does not care
Naming his nemesis as person "Worst"
For this scintillating intercourse we have come to thirst

Now it may all disappear
Seems the execs had a summit (but without the beer)
Brought together by Charlie Rose
The beleaguered chiefs seeking sweet repose

While Immelt said he'd "never forgive" Murdoch for Fox's behavior
Appears the PBS host turned out to be their savior
Rupert and Jeff engaged in a handshake
Though their newfound alliance not so easy to fake

It was decided that the fighting "wasn't good for either parent"
"Fewer headaches" their aim -- nonsense patently arrant
For both networks this feud is ratings gold
A dubious story we've been sold

Censorship orchestrated by corporate intervention
This insidious angle even the Times failed to mention
At least Olbermann is firm: "I am party to no deal"
His journalistic freedom let us hope they cannot steal!