Sunglasses Are Not Headbands

The other day at work I watched as the following happened:

My assistant put her hair up in a ponytail.
My assistant reached for her purse.
My assistant pulled out a pair of sunglasses.
My assistant placed the sunglasses on her head.

No, she wasn't going anywhere. She had already eaten lunch. We were in for the day and we were working for at least another 5 hours. No sun. No glare. No UV rays in sight. No...my assistant was wearing her sunglasses on her head as part of her hairdo...and I was oddly offended.

About a year ago I wrote an entry on my personal blog, calling the bluetooth out as perhaps the most douchebaggy thing a person could wear on his or her head. Well it turns out I may have been wrong.

Just like wearing sunglasses in a club at night makes you laughable, so does wearing them on your head indoors when you have no intention of going outside. Yes, I understand it when you're walking around outside, you walk into Starbucks to get a cup of coffee and the glasses go on your head (though I prefer the arm tucked in the front of the shirt method) -- it's circumstantial, it's convenience, I get it. But otherwise, when circumstance and convenience are not concerned, I'd like to officially state my position on this matter right here and right now:

Sunglasses are not hair accessories -- they are not to be worn indoors or at night**. If you need ideas on how to accessorize your head, please reference this post. If you're having a bad hair day and you think the sunglasses will help, hats or updos will do just fine. Get cheap ones, get expensive ones -- get crazy ones or conservative ones. But for my well being and for the well being of my friends and loved ones (believe me, I surveyed them), please wear your sunglasses the way God and designers everywhere intended -- on your face and covering your eyes.

Thank you and have a nice day.

**This statement is to only be amended with the exception of Anna Wintour, rappers around the world, or to look especially cool in pictures (read: my profile picture, duh).

Comments

[jade7243]

I'm sure you'd be just as offended, if not more so, if your assistant had whipped out a hat and put it on with no intention of going outside.

I say, "Bag it." Who cares if your boss is offended that you're confident enough to grab that scrunchy, pull your hair into a ponytail and corral the offending strays with a pair sunglasses -- or your regular glasses. Who cares? Here's a trick, go to the Dollar store and buy a pair of "cheaters" -- you know, those magnifying glasses on sale 3 for $5 or whatever. Use those instead of sunglasses. Or buy color coordinating sunglasses and just headband away. Next time you're in the check out line and see a visor on sale. Buy it! It'll drive your boss crazy. Here's another: use pencils to stick in your twisted hair like chopsticks. Use loads of 'em so you'll look really frazzled. Got a baseball cap? Wear it backwards... indoors, with no intention of going outside and not on casual Friday. Here's another trick... take a spare power cord for your computer, wind it around your head and tie it with the plugs on top like a floppy bow. When your boss asks what the H%&# is on your head, just say you didn't want to offend her by using your sunglasses as a headband.

[humaneismyth]

i have to wear my sunglassses on my head to keep my brain from falling out.

[RuthMPotter]

Really nice post..

Thanks....

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