Annoying Magazine Headline Warning

Shia LaBeouf was interviewed in People about his role in the Indiana Jones film, how he is packing on muscle, working out for his role, and being basically groomed to look mouthwatering to losers like us who will never live full, loving, expensive lives like our celebrities. This muscle-mass stage is common. It's a rite of passage for any young gelding actor to get big-tit pecs and an eight pack as early as possible, so that he can transition into adult roles (buddy cop films, tense heterosexual crime dramas) and make everyone around him more money. I am 100% sure his agent said this to a producer on the phone: "We need to Christian Bale him!"

I just want to prepare everyone for this certain-to-be-used annoying headline:

"Shia le-BUFF!"

I may be wrong. When Clinton and Gore were elected and they kept showing Al's blond-tressed, plump-lipped daughters surrounding him, I thought that there would be a story in some magazine about his family with the headline: "Gore-GEOUS!" And there never was.