THE BLOG
08/21/2013 05:17 pm ET Updated Oct 21, 2013

Can You Seduce a Guy Through Texting Humor?

Depends. If he isn't into you to begin with it's doubtful. But if he's at least ambivalent, then you have a real shot of intoxicating him with your texts.

Great cooks have always said that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, but today's great texters know that thumbs are the way in. It's obvious your texts should be sexy, flirty and occasionally punctuated with pics that show, well, way less than Anthony Weiner would want, but a lot more than what appears in you high school yearbook.

But if you're aiming for something higher than another notch in your lipstick case, then humor is your best bet. There's an old Irish saying that if you make her laugh, you're halfway up her leg. Is the reverse true? If you make him laugh will you be halfway up his heart?

There's no question about it. In my book, Sex Up Your Texts! How To Text Your Way To A Date Or A Hookup, I show a million ways to make a guy laugh. Here are a few examples:

The Hilarious Emoticon.
All the single ladies

(•_•)
<) )╯
/ \

All the single ladies

(•_•)
\( (>
/ \

Oh oh oh, oh, oh, oh

(•_•)
<) )╯
/ \

The Sexy But Not Really Text.
"Oh nothing. I just wanted you to feel my vibration in your pants."

The Just Plain Silly Text.
"I named my iPhone The Titanic. When I plug it into my computer it says, 'Syncing The Titanic."

The No, Really I'm A Lot Of Fun Text.
I'm arguing with a friend about the funniest drag queen name. Settle it for us: Lois Carmen Denominator, Hedda Lettuce or Summer Clearance?

My point, and I do have one, is that texting can make you look like you have the personality of a parking meter or the personality of a woman who's really fun to hang out with. You can always aim below the crotch but I say aim for the funny bone, too. The first gives you a notch on the bedpost; the latter engraves the notch a lot deeper into the wood.

Michael Alvear is the author of Sex Up Your Texts! How To Text Your Way To A Date Or A Hookup.